To think that if you private rent your life should not be dictated to by the landlord whose mortgage you are paying

[Nursejackie1]

So many of us are stuck in private renting with no choice paying over the odds, while landlords are making a mint. Most landlords have all these rules that you can’t decorate without permission, can’t even put a wall hanging up without asking. Often can’t or need permission to have pets, have regular inspections. I pay loads for my home and due to that cannot save a deposit. My kids have never had their bedrooms decorated in the way I would like.. having to stick with plain magnolia. Why should somebody else decide whether my kids get to grow up with a family pet or not? AIBU to think that if you are paying somebodies mortgage for them then while you are in that house you should be able to treat it as your own within reason and not have your life dictated to and controlled by them?

Yes, it does cost a fortune. More than a lost deposit. My PIL had to do the whole house and install a new kitchen. They ended up just selling instead of renting again.

doesthiseemright I know renting really is amazing, imagine being 70 and still paying rent and have nothing to give your children but hey at least I can get my shower fixed for free

Oliversmums army would you like that to be your reality for the entirety of your kids childhoods

I really don’t understand this argument.

If you want to own a house/flat then you have children after, not before.

With no restrictions and childcare bills then it leaves you free to work whenever you can.
If you get off your high horse and stop looking down your nose on areas you can afford then the only person making you rent is you.

Dd and ds are just buying their first property (for cash). It is no where where they want to be and they will never live there.

It is grotty and small and needs new kitchen, bathroom and redecorating etc both inside and outside the area isn’t great but it was cheap.

Her and her brother are doing it up then they will sell and buy another.

Instead of university I have paid for courses for them to go on to learn to do diy, (I also needed someone to tile a bathroom and some flooring, hang a couple of doors, put down some wooden flooring and help with the painting.) So win win on my part.

In the meantime we are looking at a holiday let. Again that needs work and is cheap.

I think for a lot of people there seems to be a path that is followed and only when you are years down the path does anyone look back and question why.

At 70 you'd probably be given housing benefit so you'd no longer have to pay your own rent, but no one helps 70 year old homeowners if they can't afford to get their shower fixed.

The 70 year old homeowner may notice have anything to leave their children either depending on care home needs, they just provide their children with a complete ball ache to sort out paying for their place. The 70 year old renter on HB will just be moved into a room in the same care home for free. Neither will have gained, only one will have lost. Clue - the loser won't be the renter.

Instead most of the experiences I have had is the general like it or lump it attitude many have on here and this whole well it’s your choice etc.... it’s not much of a choice really is it?

That's the reality though. Life isn't fair.
If you owned I'm sure (like for many) the colour of the walls would be way down on your list of priorities. I'd love to redecorate our house. We can't afford to because we've a) had to replace a broken boiler b) had to replace shot double glazing.

Life isn't fair. The landlord has the right to protect his/her investment.

Nails
Sadly, very true.

@Nursejackie1 well just do it then decorate the rooms, better to ask for forgiveness than permission and If you actually are staying for the long term and pay your rent the reality is there’s fuck all the land lord can do.

I'm both a serial renter and a landlord.

I can see both sides (and my kids have only ever been able to decorate a room once. To the extent that these days, their rooms basically resemble cells because they don't see the point of choosing things for a room that they won't have for very long). The trouble is, that as a landlord, I've had tenants do some monumentally stupid (and in some cases downright life-threatening) 'improvements' to the house I rent out - so now I'm careful what I approve. As a rule, I'm actually OK with some redecoration, as long as it's either put back, or not completely hideous. I do find people banging holes in the walls to hang pictures a bit frustrating though, because I've seen people make a terrible job of it. As a landlord, I fix things promptly, I maintain what needs to be maintained, I understand that accidents happen and I replace with good quality rather than B&Q's cheapest etc. I make sure that the heating system is efficient and modern etc.

As a tenant, I expect to not have to muck about fixing plumbing, or have tatty decoration - and as a rule that's been the case (although not where I am now). I've rented in a lot of countries, and I'd say the UK is towards the top in many ways (if you have a decent agent/landlord) - other places I've basically been expected to treat it as my home - do all the maintenance and repairs. Or I have ancient hot water/heating systems (like now) which cost a fortune to run.

I would like to see some kind of standards for rental properties - much like there are for housing association properties - landlords should be required to upgrade houses to be energy efficient etc (simple stuff, like thermostatic radiator valves make a huge difference). I do think that longer term leases should be more widespread (I actually think the agents are part of the problem here - persuading mine to let my tenants have a 5 year lease was a bit of a battle), and I think that if you're on a long term lease, it should be more the norm to be allowed more freedom in the house regarding superficial things like painting the walls - after all, if the expected life-time hall re-painting is 5 years, and your tenant has a 5 year lease, then you've lost nothing as a landlord by letting the tenant repaint how they like (oh, and assuming they use the right paint.. looking at a tenant who used wall paint over an entire side of a room - radiator, skirting boards, and all..)

@Nursejackie1 well just do it then decorate the rooms, better to ask for forgiveness than permission and If you actually are staying for the long term and pay your rent the reality is there’s fuck all the land lord can do.

And that is why landlords insist on high deposits, contracts, references, rules for this, rules for that.

Nursejackie1 well just do it then decorate the rooms, better to ask for forgiveness than permission and If you actually are staying for the long term and pay your rent the reality is there’s fuck all the land lord can do.

And that is why landlords insist on high deposits, contracts, references, rules for this, rules for that.

OP - did you look at your elibility for 100% mortgage ?

Also many posters have asked this but I can’t find your response, have you actually spoken to your LL about decorating and a pet?

I agree with previous posters that the money you pay to rent is not “dead money”’as you have previously said , the house you rent is in a nice area , allows your children to go to better schools and all round a lifestyle that you prefer.

I’ve been stuck in rented accommodation and now own my home thankfully. I worked to pay off my mortgage then my parents died and left me some money. I bought a house for my friend and her daughter to live in - she was desperate, then rent was less than council rent.
Now she has a partner, 2 kids, a dog, 2 cats and the house is wrecked. The rent she pays for a 3 bed house is minimal cos she was my friend but she’s destroyed that house and it’s my ‘pension’. I understand your landlord making rules. I wish I had.

My mum and dad slummed it in areas with high heroin usage , my brother and I went to a not great school but that’s all they could afford at the time . If they had rented in a better area back then, I know for an absolute fact they wouldn’t have the stability we all have now , furthermore I turned out well and have a lucrative job even though I was raised in a “rougher area”.
You say you feel looked down upon and inferior but you are doing that by looking down at other areas and claiming them to be “unthinkable” in terms of living there for a short term solution .
I’m really struggling reading some of your posts as they do come across slighlty entitled . Sorry !

butteryellow - houses have to have an energy efficient rating in the uk now, and they have to be above a certain level or the LL has to make improvements. ref your long lets example - i'd have no issue with a 5 year one as long as the LL could get rid of bad tenants - 5 years with no rent and a tenant who trashes the place is a long time if you cant evict them - the current 6 months is bad enough.

Have to agree with lefty1 re comment on double standards by OP. States she feels inferior and looked down upon for renting, yet then goes on to say she only wants to live in ‘naice’ houses, writing off an entire area due to her perceiving it to be scruffy and undesirable. You would probably find that the scruffy area will also contain nice respectable people, but they will have a minority of trouble makers and undesirables amongst them. You shouldn’t look down on an entire road of people just because of the actions of a few.

Fun only enough we moved to the 'less nice area' to buy having previously rented in the 'nice' area.
I'm still on the Facebook group for my old area.
We've never had any problems in our new area. Everyone is lovely, no crime etc

The nice area constantly has posts about anti social behaviour. At one point there was apparently someone running around with a knife and the place was covered in police!

Is the situation that you honestly cannot buy a house or that you cannot buy a house in the area you want to live in ? Everyone has to compromise and if the latter is correct then you’ve made your decision . There are still lots of affordable houses around , it’s just that people think they’re too good for those areas .

lol at the posters saying ppl shouldnt have children because/unless they have saved for the house first.

Im child free by choice and have still had shit on here for living in social housing.

it's just that people think they're too good for those areas

Sorry I think this is a huge generalisation. The affordable houses to buy anywhere near us ( we can't buy anyway so it doesn't matter!) Are in places where if you drive through them at night there's gangs hanging around, they're in the news for burglaries, theres houses with smashed windows. We're in Ireland not anywhere near Dublin ( the London of Ireland price wise). Nobody wants to buy/live in certain areas because theyre not safe to live in!!!!

@nursejackie - you are paying rent so you have all the benefits of a rental property (including in your case living in an area you couldn’t afford to buy in). You can’t expect it to be as if you owned the place, though. Because you don’t- you would have to move to a poorer area to buy and you don’t want to.

I don’t see your ongoing issues with putting pictures up. As people have said many times, use command hooks. Also as many people have said, if you’re long term renting the vast majority of landlords will be fine with redecorating if you put it back.

You can’t expect to have all the benefits of owning your own home and none of the drawbacks. You can’t afford to buy in that area so you chose to rent there instead of buying elsewhere. That’s life. I’m sorry but I don’t see you have any valid complaints.

Such a massive rant just because you can't paint walls or put pictures up the wall. You go on a out the right to make the palace you rent your home. Does the lack of painting and putting pictures up the wall really makes it 8mpossible for you to feel at home where you are renting? People have given you advice on how to put things up the wall to personalise it without painting the walls.

As for pets, many owners of flats can't have pets either. My family can't have a pet either because we both work long hours and couldn't give it the life it deserves even though it would be oh so nice to have a cuddly bit of fur to welcome us home at the 3nd of the day. We don't rant that it's not fair people who don't work can have pets.

You also seem to only want the good parts of being able to do what you want of your home. Not being able to paint a wall is a small price to pay when you also don't have to wonder how you're going to pay for a new boiler when it packs up at the worse time of the year or when you've just had your hours reduced at work.

swingofthings does having your hours reduced at work only affect home owners then? If a tenant had their hours reduced they would still worry about paying the rent that is probably more than your mortgage each month and the op doesn't want a pet so no one cares that you want a furry thing to cuddle upto, why are you feeling sorry for yourself when you own a home

Tobe, you are not getting it. I've never felt sorry for my situation although I could always compared myself to others who seem to have it better.

My point is that it's easy to focus on what you don't have and forget what you do have.

I've given examples of specific situations where homeowners also have to make sacrifices, some that might find more restrictive than if they were tenants.

Some people would rather own a basic small house on a busy dangerous road than rent, others would rather rent somewhere quieter. Both most likely hope one day they can improve their current situation.

It’s not about wanting to live in “naice” houses it’s about the choice being between living a decent life or one of actual squalor. Many of you have ventured beyond your bubbles. No longer are council estates around here nice places to live, no kids playing out, just rubbish everywhere, fly tipping, plain dangerous to walk about, rats and literally no police to respond. These neighbourhoods have started setting up vigilante groups to try to keep people safe. Like I have already said...how many of you homeowners have lived next to a house of multiple occupancy where the residents are ex offenders. Because they are on almost every street on the areas you think I should move to. Sorry but it’s not a choice between lowering my standards and saving up it’s a choice between a “naice” upbringing for my kids or bringing them up in complete substandard human conditions. I don’t think any kids should have to live like that. This is what I am saying... why the hell should the difference of 20k which many times is pure luck give such differing standards of life. If I could move to a less nice area but still feel safe and that the kids have got a shot at a good education then yes I would do it. But that’s not an option. I years to come of my kids end up in gangs there would be ripple on here that I should have put them first. There should be other options to having a home than being rich, Priveliged, lucky or having been put on the right path and not having had to deal with abuse, divorce or any other things that happen in life.