To be worried about leaving a poo in a bin?

[SpectacularlyEmbarrassed]

NC for this one, for reasons that will become clear.

I stayed with DP last night (we don't live together, as we both have DC and also like to retreat to our own space). He has a small house and just one loo (as do I, FWIW, which is not much - just for context).

During the night he came down with food poisoning (? Assume so). He was up all night with D&V.

I thought I had escaped, but early morning was gripped by a sudden and violent need to poo. Then and there. However, DP was locked in the bathroom, throwing up.

I had a few minutes to ponder this one, but the short version is that I went downstairs, did the poo in an old towel and wrapped it in several Sainsbury's bags. I then crept out and stuck the well-wrapped poo in a council litter bin at the side of the house.

I can just about live with this. But I'm now in a state of horrendous anxiety in case I was caught on the council's CCTV leaving a bagged-up poo in one of their bins. I have visions of being arrested. I did wrap it up very well so no poor bin person would have been confronted with the evidence, but the bins have notices on them about not depositing household waste. AIBU to worry about being arrested for poo-depositing?

I didn't confess to DP, as he would have been so very shocked. I'm shocked myself, but I don't see that I had any alternative.

he might wonder where the towell has gone.

LOL.

If this is real.....
No. You won’t be caught- they don’t rifle through the bin you know.

How would CCTV detect what was inside the bag of rubbish you put out? Don’t worry about it.

All the bins round here are full of dog poo so I doubt whether a human poo would e noticed, especially as it was so beautifully wrapped!

Please don't worry. You were thinking on your feet .
I think t happens most people at some stage .

I think you dealt with the situation as best you could - seems reasonable to me. Although as PP says DP might wonder where his towel has gone?! At least you didn't throw it out the window like that story where the girl then got stuck!!

Damn that CCTV

Op, you could be this years "cat bin lady"

Why on earth didn't you take your poo parcel home? Leaving it in a litter bin is disgusting and a health hazard. You should feel ashamed.

Omg sorry but this made me 😂.

Who is going to rifle through the bin then track you down via cctv....and arrest you!

You are way overthinking this!

I can believe this as this is the sort of thing that happens to me (had to poop in a plastic bag in an emergency once)

@Windygate don't be silly

Are you in the UK? If so dont worry, Council's budgets for sifting through bins for towelled up shit have been dramatically cut over recent years.

Seriously though. Nothing to worry about.

What would they arrest you for?

Why on earth didn't you take your poo parcel home? Leaving it in a litter bin is disgusting and a health hazard. You should feel ashamed

Dude. It's a BIN not the veg drawer of the neighbours fridge

I think Sainsbury's bags are too upmarket for poo concealment.

Why on earth didn't you take your poo parcel home? Leaving it in a litter bin is disgusting and a health hazard. You should feel ashamed.

But then she’d have to keep it in her handbag at her boyfriends house. Imagine the utter horror if he found it! Never mind the smell...

Why didn't you just put it in the wheely bin?

You did the right thing. I've done similar, but in the far corners of a service station on the A1. Luckily I had an old dog towel and some carrier bags in the car.

windypoo - surely you’re having a laugh, you cant really think like that?

This is really funny

I don’t get why you think anyone will know it’s poo, even if they were keeping close surveillance on the bin in question
Beyond the weirdness of that, I rather admire your pragmatic approach to a sticky situation.

Poo alresco, but cover it. Nature will delete the evidence.

😂😂

Its reminding me of that scene in dumb and dumber where he does an enormous shit in the toilet and then cant flush it away and his dream girl is waiting outside hahaha!

Oh God.

To answer some of these...

@LordNibbler He doesn't live in a wheely bin area. If I had been at home, I'd have happily stuffed it in my wheely and thought no more of it.

@Windygate I can assure you that I am ashamed. I was going to take it home, but was then completely paranoid that I might forget (am peri-menopausal, so anything is possible), and that he would find a bagged-up poo in his dining room some time later.

Thank you for making me laugh, @BedraggledBlitz and @Justathinslice At least I didn't leave it in his veg drawer.

The last time I had a poo emergency, it was when the DC were very small, so I was able to avail myself of their portable potty.

I am slightly reassured that nobody will be trawling through the council bins, though.

For those who wonder, DP has a gazillion towels and won't notice the absence of one from his drying rack.