Zebra crossings

[TheZebraCrosser]

I was under the impression that when driving, stopping to let a pedestrian cross on a zebra crossing (white stripes on road, big flashing Belisha beacons) was in fact mandatory, not discretionary.

So why did some twat in a van holler 'could have put your hand up to say thank you you ignorant sod' as I (a pedestrian) sauntered across the other day.

I have noticed (as a motorist) that more and more pedestrians are now scuttling across zebra crossings almost apologetically while mouthing thank you s and waving.

This is all very well and sweet of them but it leaves me a bit bemused as they have a right to cross anyway.

I'm wondering now, if, when I get to the end of temporary traffic lights, would I be advised to 'thank' the person waiting at the other end for not jumping the red light? To thank someone for giving way at a roundabout if you gave right if way anyway?

And then there are people who step out into the road with no crossing at all without so much as batting an eyelid and scream abuse if you don't dodge them by a wide enough margin.

Help needed.

Good winter, yes I do.

• to your earlier post about a narrow street.

BackForGood but you don’t know these people that are not thanking you, so why allow it to piss you off? You don’t know what’s going on in their lives; they might be having a bad day, they might be depressed, they might have any number of things going on in their lives that you don’t know about. And yes, they might also simply be rude and entitled. But you don’t know that.

Shouldn’t you be concentrating on your driving rather than whether a pedestrian you don’t know is suitably grateful?

Again, it makes the world go round a whole lot better, if people are nice to each other.
Yes, I thank the bus driver. No, I don't thank the pilot or train driver as I don't see them, but I say thankyou to the steward(ess) when I get off the plane.
I thank the cashier in the shop or the people who serve me in the pub or the cafe or the restaurant. Of the person that gives me directions.
Ultimately, I have manners, and know how to interact with people.

@TheZebraCrosser I'm honestly surprised that you wouldn't thank a bus driver! I've taken a lot of public transport and I rarely ever see anyone getting off the bus without thanking the driver. In fact it's so common it's an actual meme: www.collegehumor.com/post/7056889/thanking-the-bus-driver-meme

No I don't thank train drivers because they're in their own little carriage. Ditto for pilots. But I do thank the flight attendants as I get off the plane, and I hear most people around me doing it too.

Again, it's just polite! British society has odd politeness "rules", like apologising to someone when they bump into you. They may not make any sense, but they're usually expected and it's noticeable if someone doesn't join in the odd little social rituals like that.

Lol snap @BackforGood

I have concentrated on the driving - to notice that someone would like to cross, or come through the single car gap. I've made the conscious decision to wait for them. The 'etiquette' is then they acknowledge that I, as the driver in this case, have given 30 seconds out of my day to let them cross the road / come through the gap.
Of course it makes a difference to your day if people you encounter (however briefly) are rude, arrogant and entitled, or if they are pleasant, kind and appreciative. I defy you to claim it doesn't.

goodwinter in that scenario, yes I would thank the other driver. But I wouldn’t be bothered about it if the roles were reversed and the other driver didn’t thank me. If I don’t know someone, I can’t summon up the energy to care.

I notice that no one wants to take into account the fact that the OP has told us that she’s autistic? This does play a part here.

Goodwinter, if I had paid my plumber and he'd done the job to my satisfaction I would say thank you.

I would say thank you to my lawyer if they'd got me a good deal.

These are personal interactions. I don't interact with vehicles / the people driving them when they are part of a road system operating as it's intended.

And I'm not notwaving to say thank you for letting me through. I'm just thinking "good they stopped as they are meant to, now I can cross."

I honestly had no idea people felt entitled to be thanked for such mundane everyday necessities which are part and parcel of using the roads.

No, it really doesn’t. Not if they’re people I don’t know. But then, I have too much of my own shit to cope with: two adopted DDs with their own needs, PTSD following childhood abuse and depression.

Backforgood - but the bus driver is in a compartment too and there are also usually notices telling passengers not to speak to them while the bus is operating.

Following your argument then train / all drivers should be thanked too.

I notice that no one wants to take into account the fact that the OP has told us that she’s autistic? This does play a part here.

Honestly I was thinking this as I was typing up stuff about unspoken social norms, but wondered if it would be rude of me to bring it up. Yes, it may be a factor.

OP, I appreciate your replies but just cannot understand where you are coming from. Thanking a bus driver, or a car stopping at a zebra crossing, is so ingrained in me that it would feel completely alien not to. I don't think there's much point in more back-and-forth because we're obviously just very different people!

Not read the thread but I agree. It is mandatory to stop at a zebra crossing so pedestrians have no need to thank. I certainly don't expect them to thank me any more than I would expect thanks from all the drivers stopped at red lights when my light is green.

I had a twatty cyclist the other day who slammed to a halt at the zebra crossing nearly hitting me and then shouted at me for not thanking him.

Sorry haven't rtft. My understanding is that, if a vehicle is before the zigzags when someone steps into the crossing then they must stop, if they are on the zigzags they do not have to stop as there isn't enough distance. My beef is that people don't "address" crossings any more. You should stop at the kerb and look to let drivers know you are going to cross, not veer onto it staring at your phone.

Davros, lots of posters have said I'm bloody lucky if anyone stops at all as drivers are not obliged to stop until my foot is actually on the crossing. Posted called soup keeps banging on about this. It's hardly relevant really.

Most normal people know what crossings are there for - i.e. to let pedestrians cross - and just let them get on with it without faffing about worrying how far their foot is onto the crossing, or whether they been adequately thanked / waved at / grovelled to.

WHAT WOULD IT COST YOU TO JUST SMILE AT RANDOM ABUSIVE MEN? GO ON LOVE JUST A SMILE! WON'T KILL YOU WILL IT?

OP your example of “is a driver who mows someone down on a zebra crossing less at fault if the pedestrian didn’t wave” is possibly the most ridiculous argument I have ever seen on Mumsnet.

And for someone who finds it too socially awkward to smile, acknowledge or make eye contact due to your hidden disability - I find it wonderful that you were confident enough to be a waitress - Bravo OP (or should that be Brava?)

It’s not a matter of bus drivers, retail staff etc being entitled to a thank you OP. People are not obliged to say it, just as you are not obliged to thank a driver who stops at a zebra crossing, but as evidenced by this thread many people see it as a common courtesy which makes those multiple, mundane everyday interactions a little bit more pleasant. It doesn’t cost you anything does it?

I bloody hate these type of crossings. As a driver you spend all your time looking out for people who might or might not suddenly decide to cross the road.
Why can't they just make all crossings the one's where you press a button, the green man appears, it beeps and you cross. Pedestrians know where they are and drivers know where they are. Instead of some kind of russian roulette crossing.

I never said it did cost anything- that's not the point!

But why should anyone get offended if I don't do it? Can no one grasp the principle here?

They are not doing me a favour. They are not being nice to me. It's
my right, it's a rule of the road. I just don't understand why anyone e would expect to be thanked.

And still no one has explained yet why ,following this principle, I do not need to thank all the drivers who are giving way to me at a roundabout etc??

Can anyone explain this?

I quite agree, Jessica. I think zebra crossings are outdated now, they belonged to an era when there was far less traffic than there is now.

Pedestrians know where they are and drivers know where they are. Instead of some kind of russian roulette crossing.

I bet there are a more than a few posters on here who would still expect to be waved at for stopping at a red light crossing!

Black Forest - are you serious?

Notmypuppy- that's a rather snide and unkind post.

I hated it actually but needed the money. I don't recall saying I was confident either.

Great to see disability discrimination and prejudice still alive and well. 👍