What is the biggest BS story someone has told you?

[TripleHFa]

In school a friend claimed he was sat on the side of the road and a guy in a car drove past and took his DR pepper.

DH is from Liverpool. When he was at uni he impressed American exchange students by telling them that John Lennon used to be his babysitter! It made him massively popular apparently!

Though if any of them had bothered thinking about the dates they would have realised the Beatles had already moved to Germany and were becoming big stars when he was born!

My DSIS is the biggest liar I ever met - we're now NC because of it.

Anything that happened to anyone else, she would one-up it, just for the attention.

She had been accepted on to a Masters degree course, despite not having any GCSEs. She ran a group to help women escape domestic abuse. The man who she happened to be having an affair with had raped her when her husband kicked her out. She saw our DF threatening her DM with a knife to the throat. She had bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD... whichever mental disorder was the current flavour of the month.

The last straw was when our aunt had been told her cancer was terminal, and 'D'Sis went round telling everyone how she (Sis) had gone to A&E with pains and within two hours they had done some x-rays and tests and told her she had cancer too. I was heartbroken for my aunt and didn't have the energy to deal with her lies and bullshit anymore.

My mother was held down and forced to have an abortion

Being fair she was 88, in hospital, was on morphine and had contracted a UTI. She had a catheter inserted and was absolutely convinced that they had made her have an abortion. She did find it funny when we told her after she was better.

Not on the scale of some of these but I know someone who, if they've accepted an event invite but don't fancy it any more, claim that it's the same (non-immediate) relatives birthday every time. It's become a bit of a running joke by now, this person must have 5 birthdays a year. No-one would care if they just cancelled or used a believable excuse like feeling poorly.

A girl I knew said she appeared on TV with a guy who fancied her for an interview about skiing. She said he stopped the interview midway and professed his love for her on live television with loads of crap pick-up lines and such.
Bollocks.
I asked what they did with the footage and she said they ‘must have lost it or something’

The bloke didn’t even exist either. She’d made him up plus the whole tv interview scenario

I was once told by a parent from school, that his son was the best in marsal arts in the WORLD. I googled it as they were on fb. It was a lie.

I thought you were going to say you challenged the kid to a fight and kicked their arse.

She had been accepted on to a Masters degree course, despite not having any GCSEs

This is entirely possible.

"it's not my fault, my willy dragged me to it"

Actually, that sounds like the perfect excuse for a cheating DH/DP.

Further to the Alexandra Burke comment. my mates sister claimed she was the first person ever to use 'wicked' in a positive sense.

My ex was full of bullshit,in fact it was one the reasons that he is now my ex. One example that sticks in my mind was this one:-
One bank holiday Monday,he wanted to meet up with friends and go drinking,and didn't want me to know. He said that he had a dentist appointment. I was ,an appointment (for just a check up,not emergency treatment) with an NHS dentist on a bank holiday? He'd totally forgotten that it was a bank holiday (he was unemployed at the time,so one Monday was much like another in his mind). When I reminded him of this,he tried to backtrack,first saying that the dentist must have made a mistake giving him an appointment on that day,then changed his story,saying that HE'D got it wrong and the appointment was for the following week. Pathetic to witness.

You can still go through the menopause after a hysterectomy if they have left the ovaries?

Both of these are from my years spent with a substance addiction; people that take cocaine seem to really enjoy telling stupendous (yet hilarious) lies.

An acquaintance had been staying with family in London (where I also lived at the time) and they'd kicked him out for scrounging off them. He called on me unexpectedly wanting to "borrow" the train fare to our hometown. I was a bit of a people pleaser in those days, so we went to the cashpoint and on the way there I bought us both pie and mash. (like I said, total walkover back then). When he got back to our home town he told everybody that he'd taken me out to dinner at somewhere jazzy like The Ivy and we'd taken loads of cocaine together afterwards.

The other one was a guy who told everybody who'd listen that he often travelled to the jungles of Bolivia, chopping his way through the undergrowth with a machete and bought kilos of cocaine from a cartel to import to England. He was an ex kitchen porter living in a hostel who probably didn't have a passport.

I knew a man who claimed to have found Glen Miller's body (the 40's band leader who died in a plane crash that has never been located). This guy found the plane and knew exactly whose body he'd found! When asked why he didn't tell the authorities he said that the spirit of Glenn Miller had said it was happy there and not to tell anyone. OK then..

Another guy in a local pub told everyone he'd been in the SAS and had an amazing military career, he'd pidgeonhole anyone who'd listen even though it didn't seem likely, until the day a lorry driver who'd actually been in the Marines turned up. SAS went bananas , literally screamed at him and threw all his spare change at him shouting "you've taken my life, you might as well have my money". Poor lorry driver was shell shocked!

i worked with a girl who used to chat to me all the time about her 2 year old daughter. I gave her clothes that my daughter had grown out of, toys etc. She never had her daughter with her she was at nursery or with family. One night on messenger she told me her daughter had died of meningitis that night. Something didnt ring true so i asked another girl that had known her years if she had ever known her to have a daughter and the whole thing had been made up!

Was in a club once and a man dressed in full wedding attire was pulling the sympathy card, telling me he had been jolted at the alter. Turned out he had been the best man. My friend had a go on him

An ex boyfriend of mine who I was seeing for 3 years through college was a compulsive liar. His tales were mostly innocuous so I think he just lied for the sake of lying. He'd regale us with stories of trips to Dubai but also Spain, claimed to have visited countries that upon asking his sister we found out to be untrue. He'd brag about his mother being a solicitor when we all knew she worked as a dinner lady (which there is nothing wrong with) in a local school, confirmed when I finally met her.

He'd point out flashy cars when out with people and claim they were his mother's, when I knew that she didn't drive and never had. Also told people that he lived in an expensive part of London, when we knew he lived in the same dodgy area as us. He also claimed his siblings were at a private school, just really random things.

The tales gradually got a bit more serious and he had me believe for three years he had 2 older siblings who his dad confirmed not to be real. Ex would tell people that his dad had died in war and enjoy the attention, then when seen with him claimed he was a stepdad (were the spitting image). This then turned into he had gone AWOL and suspected dead. Claimed his mum had married a rich man in secret but he was also fabricated. His dad had married a woman 15 years younger, also fabricated. I could go on

@floraloctupus

Huh, I didn't know that! I knew you could do a Masters without a Bachelors and in some cases without A-levels, especially if you have other qualifications. She doesn't have any qualifications at all though.

Maybe she did get on to the course. If she did, she promptly forgot about it within 3 months as it was never mentioned again...

@floraloctopus I can spell, honest!

Years ago I got chatted up in a club by a man who bragged about his amazing well paid job and his expensive house and sports car. It made no difference, I didn't fancy him regardless, probably less so because of the bragging! A few weeks later I was accompanying a friend to an appointment at the local hospital and I spotted said man. He was dropping his elderly relative off in a bright yellow and very knackered Reliant Robin.

When asked why he didn't tell the authorities he said that the spirit of Glenn Miller had said it was happy there and not to tell anyone. OK then..

That's priceless

Many, many years ago my 5 year old self was shocked that the teacher didn't believe that my friend was late because she'd been run over by a bicycle on her way to school. The proof was there for all to see on her dress; the imprint of a bike tyre from one side of her stomach to the other.

telling me he had been jolted at the alter

He deserved sympathy as well poor bloke. Vicars with cattle prods. Whatever next 😂

@HippyChickMama You got chatted up by Del Boy?

My SIL is one of those people that has to one up everything. It’s so embarrassing as we wind her up just to see how ridiculous she’ll get. Apparently she’s nearly been chosen for the England hockey team (played for the school), has managed an Asda (was a shelf stacker), piloted a plane (visited the pilot back in the day), been great at painting and decorating but couldn’t do her own house, has required many houses with her dad (she just tagged along as a kid), she’s also been to practically everywhere and done everything. She even claimed to have dated someone famous, I laugh when I see him on tv.

Don’t know if my brother’s clocked that it’s all bullshit or he keeps quiet for an easy life.