@makingmammaries
Stupid me, took me four years to leave.
Same, took me 13years :(
My, now seperated, husband...
I get it, I've elaborated the truth to seem more impressive, but was young and stupid. Alot of us probably have 🙈.
There's a reason lots of people buy cheap/fake designer bags and belts etc. To give off a vibe that they're impressive. Half-truths.
But my ex was next level.
I was an idiot. But this was 2005, google wasn't quite as populated with impressive search result info. So couldn't disprove his lies and tbh hadnt thought to, I thought he was genuine. (Easy to forget how slow and clunky the internet was, in the not so distant past. Anyways.)
Loads of weird half-truth/lies when we first met.
He told me he was younger than he was, by 3 years.
Oddly, I'd done the similar, told him I was 19, when actually I was 18. I thought being uni-age was more impressive than saying I was 18 and still at school/sixth form. But i confessed immediately we next spoke. He didn't tell me he was 3 years older than he was, until years later, when the priest asked his date of birth, as we were planning a church wedding. Thats when i realised we were 5 years apart in age, not 2.
Told me his mum was relatively rich, flew in and out of UK for private medical treatment. Same for his dad.
They're not, at all. His dad I don't think has ever left his country of birth. His mother barely understood me when I spoke English, def not a well travelled high-flyer.
(Fine, I ignored that, excused it as shy of his parents status in life.)
I'm not shallow and wouldn't of cared, I already liked him, clearly. So he didn't need to lie, I'd probably have liked him anyways.
He lied about his job.
Said he was a budding london artist, that he was the support act for kayne west, bare in mind this was 2005, and kanyes debut album was fairly new debut, he wasnt the level of household name he is now, not remotely close. Anyways, my now-seperated husband couldnt sing for shit! No idea to this day where he was, maybe just at a kayne concert, cos the background noise sounded spot on.
He told me his friends mum, lived in a village, 15 miles from where I did. Which I thought was a big coincidence. Said friend, i never met! But was a good excuse for him to come visit me. As with previous posters, this guy then suddenly died in a crash. But was pausible, lots of fatalities happen in city he lived. He was very good with the details, added in wake /funeral dates etc, very convincing. I know this must all of been fabricated, even without solid proof and he's not admitted it.
Fast forward a few years. He lied about where he worked. Said he got a job as a bank clerk processing cheques in the basement of a bank branch (i think that sounded mundane enough to be true, and detailed explaination), nope he was a retail assistant in superdrug.
By chance we bumped into a colleague of his, who addressed him by his family friend's name, and the colour drained from his face. He was using his friend's name and ID to work.
Fast forward again. He cheated on me, found out from a clinic result. He denied denied denied. Said he'd stayed at a friend's house who had bed bugs! Yes, he's a moron. He'd already been rumbled, so why keep lying, anything to avoid admitting the truth! Even with evidence, photos I'd found, he'd still deny it.
Found a dick pic on his phone, said it wasnt him. Urgh! Found a tinder profile, said his friend was using his really good insta photos to pick up girls ("errr, right, you're exactly brad pitt yourself, mate!")
When he was kicked out, he said his recent blood test from an op he'd had, showed high white blood cell count. (I'd already read this myself from a follow-up letter.) But he said they were worried he had cancer! Months later, funny enough he's absolutely fine, never nern mentioned again.
Someone above, asked why all these cancer lies, I think it's cos its so often a symptomless disease, it's unfortunately an easy one for liars to grab hold to.
This week i opened the post to a bank letter about a credit card, I never knew existed. Turns out he let his friend open a bank account in his name (maybe friend is resident here illegally? Otherwise he could do it in his own name), which I found out 2 years ago. But his friend then got a credit card on this account, my husband said he hadnt given him permission, but didnt know how to tell me as he knew I'd be angry. The balance is 3k, the bank wrote to say that the minimum payments for past 18months meant he's paying more in interest than he is paying the debt. 18months! Must of had paperless billing. No doubt if he doesnt up the minimum payment the debt will get recalled, but not my circus, not my problem. Ran a free credit check online tho, in husbands name to check there was nothing else to be found.
There's loads more of these stupid lies, but they were ultimately to his detriment.
And I read in mumsnet threads where ppl have been lied to and decieved by men.
This thread is weirdly conforting, knowing that there's loads of compulsive liars and its def him with the issue.