What is the biggest BS story someone has told you?

[TripleHFa]

In school a friend claimed he was sat on the side of the road and a guy in a car drove past and took his DR pepper.

My daughter is horse riding obsessed, has been riding for years and is lucky enough to have a pony - new colleague at work, on hearing about DD told me she had started riding recently and was so good that in her first half hour group lesson the instructor let her canter and jump 2ft fences

She then told another colleague who was into running and was embarking on his first London Marathon that she’d run it 4 times without doing any training and her best time was 3 hours

I was in year 10, so around 15 years old. A girl in our friendship group claimed to be pregnant, and devastated. Cue lots of rallying around her, trying to figure out how to tell her parents, keeping it very, super secret so nobody found out. Tears and hugs, all the rest.

...Only she'd confided to me shortly before this that she'd never kissed someone, let alone slept with anyone, and didn't have a boyfriend... so I smelled a big smelly rat. I tried to point out that it all seemed like fucking bullshit but nobody listened to me.

To her credit she was incredibly convincing. She'd come to school for a few weeks without make up (this was in the era of Dream Matte Mousse two shades darker than your skin, and the over application of such, so she stuck out), run off to the loo to 'be sick' and generally act exhausted and depressed with her situation. All very believable if you're fifteen.

This goes on, and on and on and she still has everyone 100% convinced a month or so later when she's supposed to be 12 weeks gone.

It was finally revealed as a pile of shit when she brought in a scan photo, from the scan she supposedly managed to obtain without telling her parents that she had printed from the internet with someone else's fucking name on

After that she lied about being a bikini model for a kit car company, having cancer and being addicted to heroin as well as loads of other ridiculous shit.

She's done pretty well for herself and is married with kids. I see her in town sometimes and wonder if she's still a liar liar pantsonfire.

I actually had the inverted version of this. My friend's stepfather who had various mental health issues and presented as a total fantasist said he was a published poet and used to be a bank manager in Bermuda. I didn't believe anything he said but both those things were actually true!

I had a friend who used to steal my underwear and then wear them in front of me. Only noticed because it was popping out the top of her jeans, I looked at them, looked at her, she looked panicked and then casually said "you gave them to me remember" of course because I give everybody my knickers.

I was casually dating someone years ago who was really needy - think texts all the time, needing to meet up every night otherwise insecurities arose etc. I was breaking it off as gently as I could, and then he told me he had cancer and was being blue lighted as we spoke (text) to a hospital in north Norfolk.

I looked up the hospital where he said he was going to undergo brain surgery because I smelt bullshit. The hospital was a minor injuries hospital, definitely not one that dealt with cancer OR brain surgery.

When I pointed this out he made up a story of how he had to go there to be checked out and then was being rushed to Addenbrookes. He was 'live' messaging saying he was dipping in and out of consciousness as the ambulance drove rapidly.

These were the days where people used landlines too, so I rang it, and he answered

Twat.

To add to the story he every so often tries to contact me on social media now that's advanced. I always ask him how his brain surgery is going and whether he's been blue lighted recently, he never replies, and a year or so later he'll reappear again 😂

Disclaimer: not mine, but one of my favourite ever mumsnet comments - a poster said their mate claimed to have invented the "woop woop" noise you hear in clubs. It makes me laugh every single time I think about it 😂😂😂

The whoop whoop thing reminds me of that thread where Alexandra Burke said she was the first person to use the expression "elephant in the room".

A girl I went to school with was a compulsive liar. She claimed to be dating a very rich 26 year-old man (when we were 14) and told us she was going to quit school and go to Brighton to be his housekeeper. Then when we came back after half term she told us in a sad but matter-of-fact way that he’d been killed in a plane crash. A few weeks after that, she was talking about running away again and said ‘I’ll go to live with Warren’ - reports of his death having apparently been greatly exaggerated.

Another one of her stories was that she had to deliver papers to a young offenders institute as part of her paper round and that she’d seen James Bulger’s killers in there playing videogames and drinking tea. Apparently her boyfriend had to stop her from going over to thump them. Because of course teenage papergirls are allowed to wander around secure units willy-nilly! Not to mention that we lived a good 200 miles from Liverpool.

Reading some of these has kicked my memory into gear. Remember my sister being in a school production of the sound of music. My nan told her she was in a school production of the sound of music and played the lead. The film didnt come out until about 15years after my nan finished school. She also told us she played hockey for england... mum has assured us that was also BS

A girl I went to college with told us all she was best friends with 'Dirty Den' and his wife and was always going on about spending the weekend with them, him buying her expensive clothes & jewellery, getting her a part in Eastenders etc. She only ever called him 'Dirty Den' so someone asked her his real name. She said he'd legally changed it and was now only ever known as 'Dirty Den'.

My friend dated a guy who was allegedly ex-army.

He reckoned he’d been in the mysterious white Fiat, associated with the conspiracy theories about Princess Diana.

He had some mate, I wish I could remember the name, who was kind of fixer cum military asssassin. Funnily enough my friend never met his imaginary friend.

He stayed out one night and alleged he had been hob-nobbing with his CEO and the Man U / England team in a hotel. He’d actually been in a cheap travelogue shagging his co-worker from the sandwich shop he worked in.

I was really good friends with a boy in sixth form—he had a girlfriend in another school (with a flat!), a motorcycle (not allowed to bring it into school) and was a really good laugh. Eventually it we had a very intense discussion and he said he really fancied me. I pointed out girlfriend etc made it impossible. He broke up with her and we went out for a year before I discovered she was fictional along with his bike, her flat, his company director father, his dead mum etc etc. In the end I started disbelieving even things that may have been true—it made the relationship impossible. I felt really sorry for him because he was basically a nice guy and didn’t need to lie for people to find him interesting... until I found out he’d told everyone we’d split up as I was having another man’s child and had given him an STD. I was a virgin at the time!

A friend of mine told me that he took his girlfriend's virginity (I knew her - he didn't) and that he gave her '10 orgasms' during the act. I told him that he was either lying or had no idea what a female orgasm looked like.

I forgot one - a gay man I used to know (50s and knackered-looking) used to tell everyone he was dating an England footballer, but obviously he couldn’t say who as he wasn’t out.

While I’ve no doubt there could well be gay international footballers in the closet, I’m slightly more sceptical about the idea of them dating men old enough to be their fathers with skin like the handbag Oxfam turned down.

Lots of fake cancer stories here .

Someone told us he was going for a new perfect job. (probably true)
When he was still at the old job a year later, someone asked him what had happened. Apparently he chose not to leave because when his colleagues learnt he was planning on leaving they got up a petition asking him not to leave and presented it to the managing director of the firm. Petition apparently had over 1000 signatures. His particular branch of the firm had less than 250 employees.

Roughly translated I guessed this meant "I didn't get the job".

A friend once told us she had privately paid for genetic testing on her child. A few weeks later the results came back and child had inherited a list of potential conditions from the father's side.

A few months later she takes the child to hospital because symptoms of one of these illnesses show up, and I go with her. Turns out the kid had never had tests of any kind, and the place she said she had these tests done don't offer them. Also the 'symptoms' were diagnosed as a head cold.

I don't speak to her much but apparently she takes her DC to the gp, or hospital on an almost weekly basis because of these 'symptoms'.

This has reminded me about a girl I was at uni with, she had written a film script, Disney wanted to make it but she turned them down because she was 16 and stupid.

She also had a severe allergy to tomato seeds,not tomatoes, just the seeds. But she was OK with pizza, pasta sauces and my home made tomato chutney,that I know damned well had seeds in.

She told some other students that if she fainted it was anaphylactic shock and they should cut a hole in her throat to do an emergency tracheotomy. She didn't have an epipen.

Someone at college, we were al l on day release doing a qualification for the NHS.He would come in with a wad of cash that he had 'won' at the casino. But it was always the day after payday and the amount was always about the same as his wage.

DH works with a total BS.
This guy recently told DH he phoned an ambulance for chest pains and had to rush him into hospital as his heart rate was 280bpm and the dr's told him if he had arrived half an hour later, he would have had a heart attack and died. He was treated with some medication in a&e and discharged the very same day, was in work the next.
I'm a cardiology nurse, which he also knows. Not that anyone else believed him either

A girl I was at school with was terrible for this (still is I believe). I was a huge music fan and was lucky enough to gain enough pocket money to always be in record shops buying albums, which of course Belinda (Belinda Bullshit) already owned.

Tired of it one day I invented a band. Of course she had the album, when asked about the singer, Phill Nutt, she told a great story of how she'd met him. "So you met P Nutt?" I asked. Even at that point she carried on. It was as if she just couldn't help it.

About five years ago on a group trip to a war cemetery, had someone in their 20s breakdown sobbing at a grave with the same surname about how amazing Uncle X was and they missed him so much.

Grave quite clearly said person had been killed in World War 1.

Ex dh had been forced to leave university because the staff didn't want clever but common people there, why they'd given a place initially I don't know. Somehow they realised their mistake and let him try again but he had to leave again because his ex girlfriends new boyfriend was drugging him on the sly. That was at the beginning. It got worse.
He is currently on his sixth attempt at university.

I was friends with someone who went a bit odd. She was sending 70 texts a day even though I wasn't answering. And phone calls and voicemails all day long. She went through a phase of sending me gifts to my house too.
She told me she was doing it all because she had a brain tumour and was facing an operation with a 50% chance of survival. I didn't believe her but at the back of my mind I thought " what if it is true?" and so I started being friends again and supporting her.
I'm fairly sure it was all a lie. She was apparently out of hospital the day after the op and back to constant texts and calls. We're still in contact now though nowhere near as much and the brain tumour was never mentioned again. She has form for lying about other stuff too.

I was once told by a parent from school, that his son was the best in marsal arts in the WORLD. I googled it as they were on fb. It was a lie.