What is the biggest BS story someone has told you?

[TripleHFa]

In school a friend claimed he was sat on the side of the road and a guy in a car drove past and took his DR pepper.

That doesn't sound too far fetched OP I was once a passenger in a car when a bloke on a motorbike reached through the rolled down window, grabbed the sunglasses off my head and sped off.

Just recently a colleague heard that I had been in hospital for a routine colonoscopy to check for internal bleeding. She proceeded to tell me that at her latest colonoscopy they discovered a hole 20 metres long in her intestine, which was leaking blood into her body but as it was so big they couldn't do anything about it. She then very martyr-ishly said 'oh you know me, I just get on with it'.

Sounds like pizza-jacking, which happens quite a bit in London.

I once saw an acquaintance crying outside our church, and when I went to check she was ok she said she was crying because she had been reminded of her dad, who had ”died at sea” and she didn't like to talk about it much. A couple of years later I met her very much alive and well dad. Had a little ask around and he was her biological dad, always married to mum (so no stepdad to die at sea) and she was the spitting image of her mum so probably not adopted or anything. I was mystified about where the whole ”dad dying at sea” thing came from.

Once knew someone who told little white lies all the time because they needed to cover being unreliable. They took it to another level when the told us that their dad a lorry driver had a major RTA abroad, turns out it never happened, but was obviously another excuse why he hadn’t delivered on something.

A woman I knew years ago lied about being HIV+. It ‘miraculously’ disappeared when she had her 2 DD. She lied about heaps of stuff. The odd thing about her is that she is a well-respected university lecturer and an otherwise normal person.

“She’s not my wife she’s my cleaner I swear”

That she was my friend.

Got into my head, manipulated and lied to me. emotional blackmail and gaslighting. It was described by a mutual friend once as almost like being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I would get the shakes and anxiety every time she messaged me and she would guilt trip me and coerse me. She slagged me off. And still I felt I was in the wrong.

She wasn't well, mentally. I managed to block her out of my life after she said hurtful horrible things about my child. I had got rid of her and yet she still took over my headspace. She asked me to defend her when she went to court for abusing her child. I ignored the message. I couldn't be drawn back into her mind games and I couldn't defend her actions toward her child - he was better off out of her care. Her child got taken away and is now safe. But she lost it completely then.

She committed suicide.

I didn't see it until afterward, her facebook, but it was messy and painful and raw and hurtful to everyone, both her and others around her. I hate that her child may see it one day. It was a drawn-out public cry for help from the services that let her down.

And yet, I am still in her sphere. Someone asked her during the days long process what she wanted and she said for everyone to feel guilty. Everyone who abandoned her. But I had to for MY mental health. And yet, I see a car like hers, a person with her hair, her clothes... and she fucking haunts my life.

We had a mutual friend who I haven't been able to see since. She is our connection and it is too....I can't even think of the word. Too hard. I want this woman out of my head. She messed me up and I am not even able to be angry. So many people say oh you will be missed. You know, the perfect person afterward. But they don't really know what she was like when you were caught in her spiral.

I feel desperately sad for her child.

She proceeded to tell me that at her latest colonoscopy they discovered a hole 20 metres long in her intestine, which was leaking blood into her body but as it was so big they couldn't do anything about it

Well I'm sure they couldn't do anything about it the hole is bigger than her intestines!! Do people not even do basic research before lying anymore.

When I was a school a group of girls lied about having back stage passes to see a popular band they hit stuff signed for everyone it was a big thing expect they didn't didn't even go to the concert it was a massive drama at 14. People didn't speak for years!

I line managed a teaching assistant who had an increasing absence from work problem. In a two year period he had 5 grandads who died, his gall bladder removed once then a hospital appointment months later to see if he needed his gall bladder removed again. He was totally unembarrassed to be reminded he already had lost 4 grandads and one gallbladder.

I worked with a woman who took several weeks off to help her Mum nurse her terminally ill dad. She came back to work for a while then took more time off to help arrange his funeral and to deal with her grief. Then we found out he was alive, and didn't have cancer...

wow. sorry about that. I think this was meant to be lighthearted. I posted as soon as I saw the question without reading the responses. I guess I needed to get that out. Ignore me, apologies for bringing down the tone of the thread.

I could fill this thread with the ridiculous lies my children’s father has told over the years (usually excuses as to why he cant see them). The worst was him telling somebody that our unborn son had a heart defect. He had nothing of the kind. That one really hurt. He has told elaborate stories of being in an ambulance with chest pains, his friends mother being in a car crash, his dog dying etc. Its funny how these life changing incidents always happen around 3pm on a Friday afternoon when he is meant to pick the DC up from school. Me and my DP take bets each week on what the next excuse will be. I have never known anything like it.

And a teacher who applied for leave of absence twice to attend her Great Uncle Basil's funeral. When I asked if she had two Great Uncle Basil's she looked puzzled. I showed her the first request from a few year's previously. She was very uncomfortable and then confessed she fancied a day off but wanted to be paid and asked me to not tell anyone what she had done.

I also had a friend who had to have a cone biopsy to remove pre-cancerous cells. A couple of years later I heard her telling someone else that she's had her cervix removed because she had cancer. The other woman said "Oh no! are you ok now?" and she replied "Yes, I'm fine, I had my fourth baby a little while afterwards." She was a nurse so I was surprised she hadn't realised the baby would have dropped out if she hadn't had a cervix!

A friend of a friend who we'll refer to as Fibber once told my friend that she was at my wedding. Fibber said it was a lovely day. Friend confused as she was bridesmaid in charge of the seating arrangement and Fibber was most definitely not there! Fibber also then told the same friend that my child had been born and I'd had a beautiful baby boy. In fact I was still pregnant, then had a baby girl the week later. I have no idea what Fibber gained from lying to one of my best mates about me, it's the strangest thing!

I once told people I saw Prince Phillip in a car driving past me and smiled (I was walking) No one fucking believed me, till a photo came out of him in the car and you could see me (still couldn't see him smile)

I think the worse one I was told, was when I lent A money, she promised to pay it back on Friday. I got a text saying her sister had been in a serious road traffic accident and she would sort me out later.

Strange as I was sitting chatting with her sister in her lounge, she seemed fine, no truck had come through. I sent a selfie of her sister and I and put yep try again, to be fair her sister had warned me against lending her money

I was at uni in the late nineties doing media production and a guy on our course told everyone he’d sent Steven Spielberg a script and his people were flying him to America that summer break to discuss making the film. We were in awe!!!! The guy came back saying it was going to happen and even showed us photos from his ‘trip’. It turned out to be a hoax! He faked emails from Speilberg and his ‘people’ and made photos from the fake trip using photoshop! He left the course after that.... I don’t know what became of him, but I always admired the sheer magnitude of that fib and it’s obvious flaws!

I worked with someone who said their aunt had a baby with someone in slipknot!

Completely untrue and easily googleable but she swore it was true.

My ex:
He had one of those super-duper BMWs.
He bought an Aston Martin.
He had a personal shopper.
He had terminal stomach cancer (20+ years on he's still not dead).
He'd been in not one, but two, helicopter accidents.

@MeltedCrayons, please don’t apologise, it sounds like you are really suffering.

Betty bullshitter is what I call her

My EXH and I separated in the early 90's. Not long after we walked into a 7/11 together. He headed towards a magazine rack and picked up a copy of a glossy magazine, pointed to the model in the cover and proceeded to let me know that he was dating her. Me 'so you're dating Claudia Schiffer are you'? Cue stuttering utter babble trying to back track. Wanker.

Ex -
Told me he had 2 children (had 5) but of these 2 children, they were admitted to hospital on an almost weekly basis. So he had to dash off, they were always kept in overnight too.
His mate was abusive towards his girlfriend, and that's why he was in the pub with her, why he went to her house instead of the gym, and lied about it, and met her at any available opportunity. Of course he wasn't shagging her......
And then when confronted about that, that he'd told his mate that I thought that his gf was shagging my partner and he was kicking off with me (never saw/heard from him) and he'd said I needed to stop it before he did something he'd regret (the mate) then the gf messaged me (via FB - she found me 'by accident' apparently, my account is in a different name to my everyday one) and backed up dick heads story and said her boyfriend was threatening to 'sort me out'. My partner couldn't understand how I joined the dots with that amazing display of deception..... 🙄
Then text me telling me 'with his dying breath' that his suicide was all my fault because I left - the woman he was out drinking with had just posted a selfie of them together in the pub. She was a friend of a friend.

God I have been told some right bullshit.

A boyfriend of my friend claimed to be a millionaire. He uses to do stuff like, make offers to buy businesses. He arranged a meeting with the owners of a nightclub we went into. The owners were brothers, distant relations of mine and dangerous people. He ended up being jumped and beaten up. In the years since, she stayed with him and in money ever turned up and they have had all manner of trouble at their door.

A woman I worked with kept having time off cause her husband had a bad heart. She apparently was given a defibrillator, trained on it and sent home with him she told us she had to restart his heart several times a day at home so couldnt come in.

A man who worked for me dad had already passed when he started working for me. His brother in law was then in a hgv accident and his mum tried to commit suicide. We did loads to support him at work. Then, by coincidence, another colleague was at her mums house and her mums friend came to visit and brought her son. This man. After they left the colleague questioned her mum. The dad wasnt dead, there was no HGV accident, the mum hadn't tried to kill herself.

In another job years ago, I was due to go mat leave. Another women returned from mat leave. Took me to one side and told me to fo on mat leave for 6 months (as it was full pay) come back for a month and then go on sick as we also got 6 months full mat pay. I ignored it, anyway, when I came back from mat leave she was on sick. Kept coming back for long enough to qualify for full sick pay and going sick again. She said she had stomach cancer and has to have her stomach removed, she came into the office 3 days later absolutely fine and said the operation wasn't a big deal. A few weeks later someone took screen shots of her facebook and sent it to a manager. She was using Facebook to set up her own beauty business while doing treatments and massages. She ended up getting sacked.

An ex colleague who, on skiving to go to a job interview, said he'd broken down on the motorway. He was NC all day. He said that the AA man had also broken down and so they had to wait for another recovery truck.... okaaayyyy! He handed his notice in a week later.