To wonder why men still do this?

[Marvelboys]

I was sitting at some traffic lights today in my car, nice sunny day so window wound down, toddler ds in the back, minding my own business waiting for little guys to change.. A youngish man in a van waiting at lights going on opposite direction.

All of a sudden he shouted really loud at me "I hope you've washed it". I jumped out of my skin as it startled me, and looked over to see who was shouting, so he laughed and mimicked my jumping, I gave him a filthy look and he loudly said "hahahaha" and drove off.

I think the "hope you've washed it" was referring to my hair as I was fiddling with my hair. But really, what the fuck?

I thought my days of casual street harassment were over but apparently not.

Apparently these types don't just shout at women, they also shout out 'jokes' at male cyclists, scooter riders, and bus stop wankers (inbetweeners programme reference for those that don't know). Anyone that stands out.

Basically bullying / controlling behaviour.

Are you completely sure he was referring to your hair OP? It could be your car, or perchance, some other part of your body?

Honestly, crude, shouty men in vans (they used to be on scaffolding but I think they get in trouble for that now) really aren't thinking about your hair.

Keep a small water pistol to hand, better than stooping to their level.

In the past week I've been shouted at by men driving past (while I've been walking alone) four times! Honestly I don't even catch what they're saying but it makes me feel so uncomfortable and always makes me jump out my skin in shock

I was getting the children (I’m a childminder) out of the car yesterday, the rag and bone man drove past, slowed right down and shouted ‘looking lovely there babe’ at me. I was furious, sounds silly to write it down that I was furious, but that’s how it made me feel. The tone of his voice, what he said, there was no need for him to say anything at all to me, we were both just going about our work, but he chose to shout out of his window about my appearance. Why?

DW has always wanted a convertible car, so I bought her one as a retirement present. Although she’s retirement age, she doesn’t look it and she wears her hair in a much younger style than might be expected. Anyway, from a distance she looks maybe 40-ish and I did have misgivings about her driving around top-down with some of the oafs described in this thread at large. She’s had the car for 2 years now and I’m happy to report no untoward incidents, but what I have read is exactly what I was worried about on her behalf. I don’t know why men do it, but I wish they wouldn’t - it must be very intimidating for a woman on her own. I think in some twisted way men think that women appreciate that sort of attention

Recently in Kensington, my friend was subject to a huge and noisy bombardment of ‘supercars’ driven by a completely infuriating section of society.

As one drew up at a set of lights where my friend was standing she shouted, ‘ Go and build a hospital,’ ( yes, we are talking about people who could do this).

He replied, ‘Go and have some sex.’ To be honest he may we’ll have been a wanker but we did agree he was a witty wanker.

This is why I no longer look around me when stopped at traffic lights. Eyes straight ahead, watch for the green light. Nothing else. I stopped counting long ago the number of times men (usually in vans with their mates!) would make rude gestures, or wind down their windows to try and talk to me. Some have even thrown things at my window to get my attention. Cigarette butts, piece of litter. The throw it, you look round to see what the hell it was and they all turn and burst out cackling to each other. What the hell is that? what is funny about startling someone? I don’t get it. I’m guessing low IQ is something to do with their sense of “humour”.

Some random man “helped” me park my car recently too! There was nothing about me that suggested I was having trouble...

...apart from being a woman of course.

Impersonating a Police Officer is an offence so perhaps don’t do that

I have bene known once or thrice to imporsonate a mad religous freak and adavance at people waving my hands shouting paise be!, as jesus loves you!

They usally run like the wind;)

AND they only do it to women, it's a power thing.

^^

Yes.

Also, got to say, they don't do this abroad. It's a British thing. Ugh.

I have fantasies about owning some sort of voice changer that I can switch on to sound like a really deep Barry White like voice and ask 'what was that mate?'

I'm almost 8 months pregnant and really look it. However this didn't stop some idiots shouting creepy nonsense at me from a white van the other day and making kissing sounds. It was awful, first time it's happened to me pregnant and I somehow felt more outraged than usual.

Today, I walked up to a black cab and asked if he was free (light was on but he was parked up and reading). He immediately came out with some rubbish about "for you, yes, just look at you, I've been waiting for you all my life". Again feels worse when pregnant and I felt really intimidated. Should have walked away, but got in anyway because was running late and my back was hurting. He then proceeded to cross examine me about whether I'd voted and who for. I said I had but didn't really fancy chatting about it and he went off on one how I should tell him. This sort of thing never happens to DH who takes lots of cabs. It's like women are property/entertainment. 🙄

There will always be twattish men. Some much needed renovation work happening to the house across the road. One of the roofers stops whTs he's doing to watch pretty much every under 30 who passes

I think in some twisted way men think that women appreciate that sort of attention

I think some do, you're right, as everytime this topic comes up on a panel discussion or phone-in on TV or radio there's always some stupid woman going on about how she likes the attention.

I always end up shouting at the TV, "Well I don't, so stop bloody encouraging them!!"

I still think the majority do it as a power trip though, they're not all stupid, they know the vast majority of woman don't like it, but they do it anyway.

Oh my, Justaboy, I'm so going to adopt "Jesus loves you, praise be" next time!

Why do men do this? Well because everyone knows that they're intelligent, witty, sex gods who have women swooning at their feet, stoopid!

Said no woman ever.

I was crossing a side toad the other day. A car was approaching so I stopped to wait for him to pass. He stopped instead, which I don’t find helpful as I’d rather cross behind as I feel obliged to run. I usually wave them past but it started looking like a woman was walking towards his car to get in & his windows were open so I thought sod it and walked pretty fast, followed by a couple of other people. He started gesturing, I had earphones in so didn’t hear so just mouthed a WTF and carried on. He turned right onto the main road with a screech and held down the horn.

I suspect it was because I wasn’t showing sufficient gratitude. Somewhat of an improvement on a man who sped along and turned left while I was already mid way across a side road and stopped to lecture me, coz pedestrians don’t belong on roads dontcha know. We have to magically just appear on the other side. He didn’t appreciate me answering back. I drive too so I’m not oblivious to what driving is like and the Highway Code.

A builder pretty much followed me down a street to my car the other day asking me how my day had been going, if I was okay and what I was doing later. I'm 7 months pregnant. Belly is huge. Wtf?

I lived in Spain when I was in my 20s. Men cat call and shout a lot there too so its not just British men. You literally get the same noises as if you were a cat, hissing and shouts of “hey blondie” (in Spanish); if you look foreign you are a target. I learned never to wear “going out clothes”. All the Spanish girls wore jeans for every occasion and I quickly learned why; if you wore a mini skirt you would be looked at like a prostitute-and receive disapproving looks from females too. They were extremely conservative and you had to take care how you dressed. Being drunk wasn’t really acceptable either. This was in the 90s mind you-in a large city, not a resort. Also just as bad in Cuba-making cat noises to get your attention. Like that kissing noise people make to cats. Ridiculous.

I was a passenger in a car yesterday, minding my own business in a traffic queue, when I looked out of the side window and a chap's head suddenly lurched towards me with a menacing look accompanied by an aggressive hand-gesture. As I wasn't expecting it I jumped a mile and the chap stared me in the eyes then laughed his head off.
The chap was about 9 or 10! He actually did give me a right fright - wow they start young these days!

They think it makes them look big and powerful.

In fact, it just makes them look like stupid, unintelligent wankers.

There is a line in “Mean Girls”, that modern classic, where one of the guys in high school shouts at Janice (cool, alternative, kind of goth arty girl)

Guy: Nice wig, Janice. What’s it made of?

Janice: Your mom’s chest hair/

Sorry, posted too soon. I was kind of wondering how that line might have been adapted into a retort to these pricks but then, honestly, what is the point of wasting fine brain power on utter tits whose original line wasn’t even remotely clever in the first place?

Men cat call and shout a lot there too so its not just British men

It's much worse in most other countries in my experience. Not to excuse British men.