Cutting down drinking in run up to birth?

[Greggers2017]

Hi ladies. I'm 36 weeks pregnant. When did your partners cut down their drinking when out with mates etc in the run up to birth? How many weeks were you?
I'm not wanting to be unreasonable but also getting nervous about the run up to the birth. Thanks

I'm pretty laid back about most things but I wouldn't be happy at all if my husband was pissed out of his face while I was in labour. Really surprised at the amount of people who seem to think that this is ok just because you could probably get a taxi.

I guess it's true what they say about the standards being so much lower for men... As long as he turns up he's a good dad, even if he's pissed out of his face...

This isn't even something that had crossed my mind and I'm 37 weeks pregnant! My DH isn't really one for getting smashed anyway, but he's def been over the drink drive limit twice this week.

I suppose it's a moot point though, since we live in a city and don't have a car...

At 38 weeks I asked him to be tee total until DC arrived, but he barely drank anyway. This was due to a few events planned around my due date that would have meant my OH drinking. Baby was 12 days late......

And tbh it wasn't about the taxi situation. I wouldn't want a drunk birth partner. I need someone to calm me down. Tbh I went into labour 10pm and left OH to sleep until about 4am.... DC arrived 40 hours later

My DH doesn't drink when I'm pregnant to be supportive. I thought this was the norm?

He doesn’t drink at all? When he usually would? No that’s not the norm. How is that supportive?

I’m 39 weeks and mine has just had one for a few weeks now for driving reasons. Our friends are hugely local and he doesn’t want to go to far away just in case so not likely to go out on a bender but I’ve not asked him not to, I’m quite relaxed about it.

He is a Liverpool fan though and desperate to have some people round Saturday!

whatareyoutalkingabout no, that’s not normal. Never heard of anyone doing that.

DH doesn't drink so giving up wasn't a problem, but his work involves a lot of driving across London. Sometimes it can take 45 minutes to get from East to West, on other days 3 hours. So he stopped doing those trips from 37 weeks.
They weren't essential, mainly client schmoozing so he asked them to come this way instead.

Mine never got smashed at all though occasionally had too much to drive.

More of a concern however was the pre-planned Glastonbury trip when I was about 36 weeks. I did let him go in the end on the proviso that he came straight back (5 hour drive) If there was the smallest hint of anything happening- it didn't!

There always seems to be handwringing on here about asking dads to give up drinking for a few weeks. I really don’t understand why it seems so hard. Most women have managed it for 9 months so it shouldn’t be that bloody difficult for the men to stay sober around the due date so they can drive and be an effective birth partner.

No one said it’s hard. You must’ve misunderstood

At about 36 weeks DH said ‘I can’t cope with having more than one at the moment. I’m too worried that you might go into labour and I’d be useless.’. That was about normal in our social circle.

@Whatareyoutalkingabout
Not normal at all. It's basically 'I have to miss something I enjoy, therefore you do too.' I have no idea how that gives you more support, it all just seems a bit mean. (I'm not talking about getting bladdered every night, rather a couple of drinks with your mates after work).

DH had the odd pint later on in my pregnancies but definitely didn't get drunk. I'm really surprised at the number of people who think that this would be okay. So what if you can get a taxi?
I think it quite pathetic that so many women think the men can't possibly be expected to avoid getting drunk for a few weeks. It's not as if they have to avoid alcohol totally like women have to for at least 9 months.

@Whatareyoutalkingabout

Yes I know where I live most women ask their DH or DH offers to stop drinking if they can't drink too - guess it shows their support for all that their DW goes through - don't see why this would be odd, but again standards for men are low on this site.

My husband went t total during my pregnancies. Really annoyed me because I loved smelling his cider. I was happy with him stopping at 36 weeks with out first and 38 weeks with our subsequent babies though, since we knew I wasn't likely to go early then.

I think we did something like this:
Cut down on nights out etc from beginning of pregnancy as I was sick and the smell was horrible and DH falls off the map for several hours if he’s out and i was getting very worried when he did that a few times.

From 36 weeks just no alcohol. It’s not even so much about the driving because yes you can take a cab - i just don’t want a bloody tipsy birth partner. DH is useless after just one drink! I would have had the rage if he was slurring all over me and giggling like a school girl whilst I was in labour 😂🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

Dp stopped at 35 weeks as ds1 was born at 37weeks so we were worried about ds2 coming earlier. As it was he came at 38weeks and I had to call him home from work in the afternoon. He was born 1 hour later. So we were back home the same day, and I was cooking steak and chips for us that night lol.

Nah, not low standards at all. I just like the guy, and think if we're sitting on a summer afternoon having a barbecue with friends and he fancies a g&t, that it would be absurd to tell him he's not 'allowed' one, and has to have water.

it would be absurd to tell him he's not 'allowed' one, and has to have water.

I think it would be absurd if my DH thought it was a good idea to have a drink when his child could be arriving imminently and he would have to drive/be supportive and sober/helpful for that. Especially now he’s seen what a shitshow labour is!

I remember having a debate with DH at 2am when my waters broke about whether or not he'd be ok to drive because we'd both done a pub quiz the night before and he couldn't remember if he'd had one or two pints... I wasn't yet actually having contractions so I ended up driving there and back! By the time we actually needed to go in again it was definitely fine.

But so maybe a 'no more than one pint' rule would have been sensible?!

Ah, I should clarify, @crispysausagerolls . I was referring to the 'no alcohol for 9 months' posts, rather than the last few weeks.

There's a big difference between "two pints, slightly over drink drive limit so can't drive to hospital, but just a bit relaxed and mellow" and "ten pints, falling over, slurring speech, falling asleep in his chair". I wouldn't want the latter as a birth partner, but the former would be fine as long as someone else did the driving.

two pints, slightly over drink drive limit so can't drive to hospital, but just a bit relaxed and mellow

He could probably drive if had had two pints over the course of the evening though i.e. over around 4 hours as most men would still be under the limit. If he couldn't drive then he has either had more than that or has drunk them quickly both of which are unnecessary and I would not be happy. It's pretty pathetic to be unable to resist being over the limit in the last few weeks of pregnancy.

“I think it would be absurd if my DH thought it was a good idea to have a drink when his child could be arriving imminently and he would have to drive/be supportive and sober/helpful for that. Especially now he’s seen what a shitshow labour is!”

A drink? A DRINK? what is wrong with some people? What would a drink do? Even if you had 2, you’d be fine to drive an hour or 2 later. So unless spectacularly unlucky that baby comes extremely quickly just after your second pint, what difference will it make?