Children being driven by new, young driver

[Chloe1104]

Hi everyone, I'm in desperate need of some advice.

AIBU to feel that a new driver (literally just passed and 18 years old) should have at least a few months experience on the road as a new driver before having someone else's children (my children - a 7 year old and an 18 month old) in the car?

I should add that the new driver would have had no experience of driving with any other children in the car at any time (they also have no children of their own so my concerns for my children's safety might not be shared/understood).

I'm just thinking of the increased likelihood of crashes as a new driver - (either at fault or not at fault) - as someone who is likely to be more nervous/less confident than other drivers on the road (although I completely accept it can and does happen to anyone even experienced drivers) also being able to cope with any distractions from the children screaming/shouting in the car etc and generally just the difficulties of navigating today's busy roads as a new driver?

I should also add that by not being able to drive to pick them up/drop them back this wouldn't prevent contact taking place entirely as they are within walking distance for their contact which is how it has been prior to the new driver scenario and what I am proposing is just a cautionary step accounting for them being a new and young driver and is not something that is permanent.

If anyone doesn't think it's unreasonable, what time frame would you say would give them enough experience before they drive with young children in the car, I was thinking 4 months? I've had people advise 6 months.

I know there's no right or wrong answer as technically they have passed their test and therefore they are allowed to drive anyone, but I'm wondering as their mum surely my concerns for my children's safety should at least be addressed/with the opportunity to discuss it so we can agree between us? (Probably in mediation).

Thank you all in advance and I apologise for the long message

I learned to drive while DS was in the car...

Are there properly fitted appropriate (new, not second hand) car seats fitted in the car? You probably can't stop your ex from letting his kids be driven by her, but you can and should insist on that. I think that discussing the whole thing in mediation is a good idea.
If your ex is driving her car illegally then that does point to neither of them having great judgement, so I can see why you are worried. If you know when it happens or when it's most likely, please do report it.

It isn't up to you when you're not there in this situation, but I wouldn't like it.. Although at 18 my son had a black box to reduce his insurance and his driving was impeccable!! Does she have one?

I wouldn’t until they’ve been driving a while tbh. I’d say 6 months to a year. When my sister passed her test at 25 I was nervy about her having my kids in the car for a few months although I did allow it a few times and I know she was super cautious. A few months after passing she wrote off her car on a bend. Now I know these things happen but I just think experience counts for a lot when driving. Can your ex drive instead of her?

In N Ireland for a year after passing your test you have to drive with R plates. This means restricted driver.(I can't remember what restrictions apply ) Age has nothing to do with it so for the year you use R plates. It is a good system .
But your problem is different.
All you can do is make sure there are proper child seats fitted and used at all times and stress no use of phone when they are In the car.
A lot of times the problem drivers are older people.

At the end of the day OP the girl could of been driving for 10 years, that doesn't stop some absolute pr*ck driving to fast and hitting her car does it? Iv been driving since I was 18 and (touch wood) not had any accidents but iv had plenty of near misses were I have had to jam on or swerve out of the way of older male drivers!

What are you going to do if your ex decides to take his test? A judge wouldn't stop contact because you don't want him driving the kids without experience....

I thought the law was that at least one passanger has to have a full driving license for the first year of driving after passing your test? I'm sure it was when I passed almost 11 years ago? Well that's what my driving instructor told me.

If that is right then she shouldn't have dcs in the car if your ex doesn't have a full license.

I thought the law was that at least one passanger has to have a full driving license for the first year of driving after passing your test? I'm sure it was when I passed almost 11 years ago? Well that's what my driving instructor told me.

Your instructor told you nonsense.

I passed my test then drove my daughter (then 3) to nursery the next day

I passed my test 10 years ago. I was out right away with my 2 small children (3 and 15 months), no restrictions re another passenger.

@Aimily I think your instructor was winding you up!

Aimily I think you misunderstood. To supervise a learner driver, you have to have passed your test more than 3(?) years ago, but there is literally no restriction once the driver has passed their practical driving test.

For me it depends where, if it was typical city driving of around 20-30mph I wouldn’t blink, if the trip involves the M1 or something I’d freak out completely.