AIBU to have these potentially irritating/weird behaviours?

[JudyOha]

To be fair, I've always been a perfectionist and have a lot to show due to this trait, such as very high exam grades, etc. but I do very much know the negatives to being too much of a perfectionist and I'm very much a planner which means I'm always living in the future rather than the present or past (which is definitely not good for mental health..!) but anyway, went away on holiday with a male friend for a few days last month and he's a very laid back, optimistic, take charge, child at heart kind of guy (in his early 30s) whereas I'm mid-20s..

He found the following behaviours odd/annoying:

1. At the airport for our flight, we were HOURS early and obviously beyond a certain point/security line, the airport staff ask passengers to throw away water bottles etc. so I suggested waiting on that side to gradually finish my entire 1.5L water bottle (had about 500ml left) because:

• It was a very hot day
• Buying water beyond the security line at the airport is 4x the cost of in the supermarket
• We were hours early so waiting before the security line for a bit or after it makes zero differences considering we still had around 2 hours left till the plane..

... He gave me a weird look and implied I was being stupid/immature (not in those words though) to try and "save water" in such a weird way.

2. We got separate hotel rooms - I did a bit of meal prep and offered he could come and share some of it - he agreed and when he came in, he had the food I made and then opened the last large unopened bottle of water I had left (for the day after for the airport) under my desk so it's ready which I bought.. not asking permission.. literally saying "I'm going to have this water, opening it and then chugging down at least a litre of it" when he knows the tap water is drinkable, etc. (though he is a nice person in that I'm sure he would not be offended at all if I went to his room and did the same behaviour but still, surely it's obvious that not everyone will have the same approach he does).

3. We agree to meet at the hotel lobby at 9.50 the next day in our holiday - we got back the last evening about midnight so I struggled to get up but still did as we agreed that time and got ready by the time we agreed. I texted him, phoned him, etc. and no answer - he replied 1.5 hours later saying he'd turned off the alarm and went back to sleep.. would have been nice to tell/text me that so I could have done the same...! He defended himself saying that after we agreed on the time, he said no rush in the text before saying goodnight (but I took that to mean no rush as in we were starting days at like 8.30am on days previously so this is a no-rush 9.50 start.. not 11.30..!

4. He always takes the mick if I try to save costs on things or if I look at an item in the store for a while (not because I wanna buy it but just because I find the item interesting) and then not buy it but as far as I'm concerned, having different financial backgrounds, etc. I'm entitled to spend as I choose.

5. If we buy different food items at a cafe, he'll offer a bite of whatever he's got and if I say no thanks, he'll insist at least 4-5 times EVERY time for me to try some of it which is a massive headache.. even if I say I have intolerance to the product or just not a fan of the product (If I offer him any of my food, he'll usually say yes straight away 99% of the time)

I definitely know I'm FAR from perfect and have various character flaws but am I ridiculously in the wrong here or is it because he's a guy he thinks like this? or just different personalities? I know none of his behaviours/reactions are terrible but it becomes really grating when it's all the time..!

I think you are two very different people and in all fairness going on holiday with friends, no matter how best buds you are, can be fraught and stressful as you are with each other constantly. It's not as if you can shut your front door and have a few days break from them like you can at home.

All sounds a bit petty to be worrying over. You both need to take a chill pill.

He sounds quite annoying but I do think you need to chill out slightly

I don't think the two of you are ideal travel companions for one another.

Yep you are wrong for each other and you sound like a nightmare travelling companion

I don't think these things are to do with being a perfectionist really? I'm a perfectionist but I'm not really stingy with water and pennies etc on holiday. The only thing he did that I'd be annoyed by is the pressuring you to try his food, my DH does that and it drives me mad. And it's annoying that he slept in and didn't tell you but I'd also be fed up feeling like I couldn't sleep in without getting a telling off. I'd also be fed up standing around waiting for you to finish and old water or telling me off for drinking your water - that's a bit stingy and OTT. I mean it's good to be careful with money but for the cost of water??!! Idk. Maybe just don't travel together again? You sound like totally different people.

The only thing that would have annoyed me is you insisting on drinking an entire bottle of water before you moved through the security.

That's just ODD! It's a bottle of water ffs not caviar and champagne!

Not a good match of friendships - I'd gradually let him go.

The only thing that would have annoyed me is you insisting on drinking an entire bottle of water before you moved through the security.. FFS can noone read on Mumsnet anymore?

Boffing Alright...she had half left. Still frigging weird. And OP says "to gradually finish my water" which suggests she was standing there sipping it.

He sounds like he would be annoying to spend too much time with, but I don't think his irritating quirks are necessarily "guy things". More a clash of personalities (and too much travel-forced time together in a short span of time). Some men are more like you, some women more like him.

Going on holidays with friends (actually with anybody - even yourself!) can be stressful. If these were the only awkward moments or times when you got annoyed with each other, it sounds like a good holiday.

Sometimes a fun part of a holiday is when you come home and meet up with other friends and tell them all about your weird travelling companion. "Yep, I couldn't believe it - he just picked up my water and drunk it all. And he wore a dressing gown to the restaurant. He drank beer through a straw. And he called every dog he saw sir!"

I think I would have found you a bit annoying too OP. Although, I agree that leaving you waiting an hour and a half at reception is definitely out of order

Buying water beyond the security line at the airport is 4x the cost of in the supermarket

In the UK and most of Europe you can find little freshwater taps just after security - keep your empty bottle and fill up there.

He sounds bloody annoying. You sound sensible.

I think you just sound like two very different people; nothing specifically wrong with what either of you do (except leaving you waiting) but just very different and maybe not suited to going on holiday together. Maybe stick to day trips?

For future reference most airports have a free water point immediately after security where you can refill your empty bottle.

I literally cannot bear unnecessary penny pinching on holiday. You need to find someone else to go on holiday with.

It would have annoyed me to have to wait before security for you to finish your water at a gradual pace. You should have chugged it or left it. And taking ages in shops to make decisions would also get boring very quickly. But his behaviour sounds irritating too, especially being so late to meet you in the morning - that’s just rude.

I think you just don’t sound like totally compatible travelling companions, but part of going on holiday with friends is learning to put up with their little quirks, so just try to see it as part of the experience!

“Gradually finishing” = annoying

You should have just chugged it down and taken your empty through to refill.

I’d have been v annoyed by the guy going back to sleep and not telling me and leaving me waiting around. Annoying.

How you write screams that you are quite rigid.

Sorry OP but you sound quite uptight which would drive me mad on holiday. He was a bit rude to leave you waiting that morning but I would take "no rush" to mean he wasn't planning to stick to time. The rest I didn't think was bad from him.

Why are you still thinking about this a month later? Are you very upset about it?

he replied 1.5 hours later saying he'd turned off the alarm and went back to sleep.. would have been nice to tell/text me that so I could have done the same

This one puzzles me. It sounds like he half woke when the alarm went off, switched it off, and went back to sleep without intending to. So obviously he couldn't tell you. It's not great, but your assumption that he would have told you seems strange.

I think you're both a bit annoying. Being late on an agreed time and insisting you try his food would annoy me. You seem to be really quite anal about the small stuff and having to stand there and watch you slowly drink a litre and a half of water before we could go through would have seriously annoyed most sane people.

Basically you're really uptight, anally so, and he's really laid back, so it's really not a match made in heaven for travelling together.