Talk me out of buying this house!

[RainbowMe]

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

It may seem like your dreamhouse now, because you don't have to deal with the realities of living there. But day to day life in a house that is of lesser quality (layout, heating) than the one you currently own and will cost you more in upkeep will simply make you and your partner miserable. The realities of such a dream will shatter that idealic image you have of it now. It would be a waste if you come to think of your dreamhouse as a place you hate, because you had to give up a much better situation in order to live there.

I’d love it as a couple without a child or with a gaggle of kids. I’d like to live a lot more rurally but don’t for my dd. She can walk around the village and to friends houses. We live on a road with the larger houses and she is the only child of her age along it. All the children in the centre have been playing in the street together for years. Dd is an only and wants to do everything with another person.

You don’t know what is round the corner. Personally I would buy it. You don’t have children yet or even know if you are able.

I would say no as you cant afford it (inc improvements) without leaving yourself very vulnerable financially.

Really bad deal on paper OP.

Do you even have a quote for installing central heating and all the post installation redecoration?

Without a child, go for it!

Bringing a newborn into that situation? Not a chance.

I wouldn't touch it with a feckin bargepole. Convenience and modern comfort beats idyllic dreams. Go have a long weekend in a cottage with a log fire out in the country if you want that experience, and then come back home to your central heating, no ride on lawnmower every weekend, and your sewage system that you don't have to pay for to have a man to suck up your turds.

The lack of both central heating and mains sewage and its overall isolation would put me right off this property. You are looking at this with rose tinted spectacles.

Adding 80k to a mortgage should not be underestimated either.
Being so isolated too (how do you arrive at this house?) and with a mammoth garden (who is going to cut the grass, you will either do it yourselves or will have to pay someone to do this) is a bind and will not do your mental health any favours particularly with a newborn and potential PND.

I have your dream too, op, but I'll live it once the mini-elbows have flown the nest. Maxing yourself out and then adding a baby is a recipe for marriage breaking stress. You need to think with your head on this one.

Show us a link and see if the vipers can offer practical suggestions that might make the dream a reality or raise issues you haven't considered.

I think you should certainly go and have a look. You will either be starry eyed with enthusiasm, or suddenly realise why what you have already got is much better. It may not live up to your dream at all. I am a great believer in 'what's for you won't pass you by'. There would be many hurdles ahead, but if you sail over them (such as selling your house quickly at the right price) then perhaps it's meant to be. I know this isn't a logical stance, but life is sometimes strange.
Septic tank? No problem. Night storage? Live with it until you can afford to change.
We have oil ch, it is no more expensive than mains gas for us, and is par for the course in rural areas, but we live in a very well insulated house and also use a stove. LPG is about the same cost as oil.
Yes, go and look - won't cost you anything but your time at this stage!

Link! Link!

Current truly disposable income (after absolutely every little has been paid for, from the TV license to a yearly holiday) is £400 per month and we feel that we live really comfortably. It would be the same if I was a stay at home Mum as I don't earn much and my whole salary goes to savings. If our bills (esp mortgage) went up by 2-300 then we wouldn't be left with much at all.

It does sound like you'd be able to live well, even if you were a SAHM. If you have £400 left after every single thing in your "extremely comfortable" lifestyle is paid for (which goes into savings), then surely, with a few cuts, you'd be OK without your salary?

DC change your bills anyway; you go out less, but have to buy nappies, etc.

Definitely view it. Then go with your heart!

(You can see how crap I am with money, lol)

I’ve had a similar dilemma myself and I’m glad we stayed in our more affordable home!

Mortgage rates are already on the rise and who knows what the base rate will do next. I personally don’t think it’s a good time to be maxing out on affordability.

Keep your savings and your current house. The new place sounds lovely but I’m sure the novelty would wear off soon anyway.

What would really put me off is the bigger mortgage... But then, better to get a big mortgage now, while you still can, then after you've been a SAHM for several years...

But interest rates can only go up. THAT would scare me.

Go for it!!! It is your dream! You will settle and be happy ever after! Good luck!

Storage heaters do the job, that wouldn't bother me. Newborns tend to be kept all swaddled up, he/she would cope better with the cold than you.

Go and view it. If this has been your dream since you were little, you should at least give it a go.

A lot of land is a big commitment to look after, poor facilities will grind you down and are very expensive to fix, isolated housing means you are more likely to be burgled , no neighbours to help you out in times of trouble e.g. school lifts, parents may not bother to make the journey for a playdate and you may find a big housing estate on your doorstep in a few years time.

I lost the house of my dreams because I could not afford it at the time so I decided to improve my own home instead. I'd still buy it though if I won the lottery and it came back on the market because the location was great (but not isolated). Go and see this house more than once at different times of the day and in different weather (and similar others to compare) and list all its faults and advantages ) and decide if you can live without it and dream about something else. Sorry but I think you will probably lose it anyway to a developer if it's in such a bad state.

Im the wrong person to ask. I live in a 15th century Inn. (Converted to a house) The roof leaks, something needs to be done to the beam holding the whole house up, the windows were rotten, the wiring is questionable. It's on the main road through the village and the garden is communal and very overgrown (but will be lovely when I'm done with it in approx 30 years time).
Everyone said 'do not buy that house' and they were right-it's cost me a fortune so far, and im nowhere near even a quarter of the way done with what needs doing. But I LOVE this house. And having lived somewhere I didn't love at all, to me it's worth all the negative points that come with it.

Sorry HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo, I meant that the £400 is for the luxuries (apart from the holiday which comes out of our budgeting despite being a luxury). Husband earns £1800, all expenses (food, bills, mortgage, petrol, insurances, people's birthdays, the annual holiday) come to £1400 per month and we have £400 left for meals out, day trips, fun stuff. I come out with £1200 which is all put into savings (some of it was being spent on the stuff we've been doing to our house but that's all done now).

Some great balanced responses on this thread (and some amusing ones too, love the "man to suck up your turds" ). I shall go through them all with husband tonight and have a chat and decide whether to give the estate agents a ring!

Also don’t forget- you will need high life insurance/ B&C will probably be higher. Loan to value interest rate may not be as competitive. Even if you get a 5 year fixed- further down the line interest rates could go up and you may struggle.

I’m usually a go with your heart person but I’d say give it a few years. Being sensible with financial planning always pays off. My parents put all their money into a house and we never went on holiday or had new things, and they were so stressed all the time!

And may even post the link if feeling brave

There is always the possibility that you as a couple could encounter fertility problems. Babies aren't always guaranteed. I'm in my late thirties and have friends who are struggling to conceive. This might not be the most sensitive point to bring up and you may conceive without trouble, but it also might be difficult. I wouldn't shelve a dream for something you don't have yet. And you haven't mentioned anything that sounds insurmountable anyway. Go and see the house, and quickly in case it's someone else's dream house too. It will either cement that you really want it, or, like a lot of childhood dreams the reality won't be so amazing and you'll let it go.

I think you're romanticising this house somewhat! It sounds horrendously expensive. No central heating or mains sewage what put me off straight away. And a 'garden like a park' would take a huge amount of upkeep. Do you and your DH really want to spend all weekend gardening when you're having to work full-time?

And why would you give up the chance to be a SAHM just for a house? I'm sure your DC, give the option, would choose to have you home at them.

Anyway, I expect that by the time you have got your own house on the market and are in a position to proceed, the house will be under offer anyway.

Without seeing the house I'd say 100% no.

Feel free to post the link and I'll let you know if I change my mind

I wouldn’t even consider buying a house without heating and with a septic tank, especially not with a potential newborn on the horizon. It’s no better than your actual house right now, you get to be a SAHM if you stay put and yeah... sorry, I don’t really see why you’re even contemplating it.

Go with your head OP, not your heart. Have long, hard look at the house when you go for a viewing , go at different times of the day, and check every detail. Sometimes staying put is the best way forward, and it’s sounds like your present home is prefect.