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Original poster

Talk me out of buying this house!

301 replies

RainbowMe · 21/05/2019 10:41

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am Shock

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either Blush

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

OP posts:
Aguamenti · 21/05/2019 12:15

makes a pros and cons list

Pros:
1-ideal location
2-beautiful design
3- dream house
4- no neighbours
5-Big garden

Cons:
1- way about your budget, affects savings and adds to debt and this is just the mortgage. Big houses require up keep as well.
2- You will have to work after having baby for God knows how long
3- big garden means being on top of gardening. Are you sure you are up for it especially if you are going to have kids? Even a small garden takes a lot of work with weeding, planting, moving and cleaning.
4- no neighbours means that if you need urgent help from a neighbour you will be stuck. It's not always a blessing to not have anyone around you.
5- Heating costs! Seems like it's an old house which will mean your heatings costs will increase considerably more than what you expect and you only have £400 pm to live on. Throw a baby in the mix and it will be even less

So somethings are nice to have but that's it. Be sensible about your decisions especially if you are also planning to have kids.

yourestandingonmyneck · 21/05/2019 12:16

Be aware that mat leave (and then being a stay at home mum) can be very isolating.

It's something I didn't think about before I had kids, but please don't underestimate the difference between being alone with a baby, with no neighbours / amenities for 2 miles, vs being able to chat to neighbours in the garden/driveway/walking along the road.

Hotterthanahotthing · 21/05/2019 12:17

We moved to a house like this before DD was born.It was fantastic place to bring up a child.Her friends loved the garden so no shortage of play dates,building dens.
Log burners are fine and easy to light.Keeping downstairs warm is easy and really you only need the baby's room slightly warmer in winter and your storage heaters will do that.
The septic tank is great,no drainage and sewage bills just water,(which probably not be metered).
For cooking an induction hob is better than gas(and safer with children around.
Go for it,delay TTC for a year or so until you're settled.
As for ferrying children around that happens anyway in towns and cities due to traffic.Going upstairs to the toilet has never killed anyone and telephones still work rurally in case of emergencies.

CatCatDog · 21/05/2019 12:17

Have you seen the film The Money Pit? Wink

BogglesGoggles · 21/05/2019 12:18

We have space heaters and no downstairs loo. It’s fine.

Drogosnextwife · 21/05/2019 12:18

I really can't make a decision until you link the house. I love a good nosey inside a house.

Yogagirl123 · 21/05/2019 12:18

If it’s your dream house go for it! You will regret it if you don’t.

Hotterthanahotthing · 21/05/2019 12:22

Forgot today we had 2 neighbours but never saw them much as they worked.
Having a big garden is great,we had a big veg patch,a flowery,pretty bit in front of the back door and grass,trees space that children could run smock in.Sheds to store all manner of things.
People are being negative but you already know the area so follow your dreams.

OnePotMeal · 21/05/2019 12:25

I think it sounds bloody lovely! But then, I'm a bit off-grid myself. Septic tanks are fine, but storage heaters not so much. It's not the end of the world to be off mains gas, though. I cook on halogen but would ideally like an aga or raeburn. If you're rethinking central heating without gas, I'd look outside the box at solar or geothermic myself. You may want to find out where the water supply comes from, as agricultural supplies or similar can mean informal arrangements with landowners who have never heard of minimum service level agreements... A huge garden like a park sounds like a wonderful place to bring up children. Worth working a few extra years for, I'd say. I'm surprised how negative a lot of people have been.

Post a link if you decide not to go for it, OP, so we can all have the opportunity to snap it up instead of you!

letsdolunch321 · 21/05/2019 12:27

My gut feeling says don't do it especially if ttc.

You have a lovely home currently and savings - why throw that all away.

Waterandlemonjuice · 21/05/2019 12:35

Id go for it. You’re not even pregnant yet, you can afford it, albeit stretching to the maximum and I think you’re more likely to regret not doing it than doing it.

BessieBumptiousness · 21/05/2019 12:35

Collaborate That doesn't apply to existing septic tank designs, only new or replacement.

pinkdelight · 21/05/2019 12:37

You even say that in a few years you'd be thinking about a bigger house. This house is no bigger. So it's not even likely to be your forever home. Honestly, if it was a great house I'd get the draw, but it's no bigger than your house and full of drawbacks. Why chuck away your savings, security and the years of being a SAHM? Makes no sense.

GreenTulips · 21/05/2019 12:38

Think about oil central heating - cheaper than gas

BessieBumptiousness · 21/05/2019 12:38

Op please please post a link!! I promise I don't want another one to add to my current woes Grin

Itsmellslikefr3shgrass · 21/05/2019 12:39

I've lived in a house with only log burner & no central heating for a few years, it was freezing. There are grants available to put in efficient heating. You may have to pay up front & claim the heating grant back

TheGirlWithGlassFeet · 21/05/2019 12:39

I would go and look at it. Personally I would probably buy it if it's the dream house. 80k extra doesn't seem a lot more for the dream house.

It may not have a gas supply to the property if it is rural. You can have one put in but it may be expensive. You may find that the current heating arrangement if effective enough.

AryaStarkWolf · 21/05/2019 12:39

I'd buy it :p

Oliversmumsarmy · 21/05/2019 12:42

Would you even get a mortgage?

Drogosnextwife · 21/05/2019 12:43

I wouldn't buy it OP. The only good thing about it is its away from other people which I would love as well. From your OP there really are no ther good points about it.

motherheroic · 21/05/2019 12:45

If it stretches you to your limit how are you going to afford the expenses of a child? Or anything that happens to go wrong with the car etc?

findmeatyoga · 21/05/2019 12:47

Can we get a link - I wanna see this place!

Collaborate · 21/05/2019 12:49

@BessieBumptiousness You need to read the link I posted. Existing STs need to be replaced by 1.1.20 if they discharge directly to surface water.

BumandChips · 21/05/2019 12:55

Our mortgage advisor said never go to your limit. Can you maintain a garden like a park? It’s a lot of work. Oil is expensive. My parents buy it once a year but it’s costs a lot. Living really rurally can be a pain in the arse, is there any local transport for when your future children are teenagers? Schools? Have you taken the rose tinted glasses off and thought practically?

I want a link!

MILLYmo0se · 21/05/2019 12:56

Id have a look at it and if you both still love it put in an offer, but not for anywhere near the asking price! Take at least the price of updating heating and insulation off it (and get a proper idea of what that would actually cost too), if it does look like actually sell for asking price I wouldnt risk it tbh...
When you see it also have a really good think about the kind of people you are, it sounds like the dream but will you really love the care involved in a large garden? How will it feel not seeing other people around the house, neighbours can be a pain but my OH would be climbing the walls if he were isolated (whereas Id be v happy!)

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