Talk me out of buying this house!

[RainbowMe]

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

Dh and I did similar recently - a house I used to walk past on the way to school and dream about living in. We got it in January and had 100k spare to do it up. There was a family living in it so we figured it couldn’t be that bad. Absolutely everything we’ve had done has cost more than double the original estimate due to working around listed bits, pulling panelling off and finding asbestos, finding that the walls were being held up by a pane of glass and completely collapsed when we were getting double glazing fitted. We’ve spent all our money and still don’t have central heating yet. Still worth it though.

We need to see a link oP

Parkland grass pretty but will need ride on mower.

Unless the OP intends to let it be more of a meadow with wildflowers and lots of bees. That's what I'd do with a large garden.

I'd say go and see it. You may get a gut feeling either way.

I must say I'd worry about being so far from anyone else (for emergencies, times when you need something from the shop, just general sanity, and for when your child(ren) get bigger and having a big garden in the middle of nowhere might not be so appealing to them. If there's good public transport, fine, otherwise I'd be wary.

I would not consider somewhere with no heating unless I could afford to have it installed.

I don't agree about oil heating. We now have oil and it is so much cheaper than gas ever was.

I also would not consider it if it means you can't be a sahm.

As others have said having no near neighbours could be a problem if there was some sort of emergency. Also could be a pain when child(ren) get older.

I am biased though. Lived 40 years in London no problems then moved to a house in the country a mile or so from any neighbours. We got burgled twice in 3 months. I hated it there after that. We had an alarm fitted after the first burglary. Made no difference though

Nope because when you have to leave your little baby to go to work to pay for the house if may not be so appealing or when you are struggling to keep the house warm with a newborn it will become a nightmare.

My parents built there dream home and it was lovely and big. The reality was I spent years in childcare missing my parents barely seeing them as they worked really long hours to pay for it. I have very little childhood memories of them around as they weren’t. The house had no kids around my age for me to play with so I was exceptionally lonely. It was slightly out of town so I couldn’t get anywhere easily. The stress of it all made my dad drink and there marriage fell apart. The house was no home it became a burden for all the family including us kids who just wanted parents that spent some time us. I know this is the extreme side of things but it was reality for us.

I would go look (and probably buy it!) it sounds lovely. You’ll get used to the heating altho not ideal, it’ll be fine

I think you need to get inside and see if you both feel it when you are in there. You may find that you don’t want it in the same way once you have had a proper look.

We’re doing this OP! But only adding an extra 13k to the mortgage so it’s a little less scary!

House has solar panels and air source heating which is a big change for us.

The location and the space was worth it for us.

Go for it, the septic tank is nothing you just pay somebody once a year or 6 months if shared.

We didn't have heating with a newborn, and he's the toughest of all our kids. just keep them warm, not too hot and you're fine.

Link please

The lack of heating etc wouldn't bother me.

The space and isolation would be a big plus for me.

Do you like gardening?

My only concern would be the needing to go back to work to fund it. Not the actual going back to work, but how you may feel about the decision later. If it is what you both wanted now that must be for a reason?

I would look at it, crunch some numbers.

It's the silly things, no popping to the shops, pub, neighbours etc that I needed. Add the isolation with a newborn as well. Have you checked council tax rates as might be extra as well. Storage heaters work but are expensive to run.

Re the mortgage: are there prospects for promotion / pay rises for either of you? Some advice I was given was to stretch yourself financially for a mortgage, because it only feels tight for a few years. (I think this only really works if you are in jobs that pay according to experience, where you know you will be climbing the ladder so to speak.)

Definitely go and look and then decide. You might look and realise it's not the place you dreamed of.

I took on a rental property for a couple of years in an idyllic spot with a huge garden. Don't underestimate the time or cost it would take to even basically keep on top of it. I'm south coast and it needed mowing March to October so only 4 months of the year when it didn't need much attention. During those months I was mowing for at least an hour a week (I didn't buy a ride on mower which would have been better) but if finances are going to be stretched then a ride on mower might not be in your budget anyway. My quote for a weekly mow with the grass taken away was £40 a week. I look back at the photos now and miss the place, as does my son but it was hard work!

I think you need to access the cost of living in this house.

I septic tank has an annual service charge. If it's an old style one with a soak away, these are no longer legal to install, so if and when you need to replace it, you have to put in a new more hygenic system which cost ££££.

Installing oil central heating and a tank is thousands you need to factor in. Although you could do a ground souce heat from your land. But thats even more money up front. The annual running cost are expensive.

The garden will also have annual running costs. You can do a lot of work yourselves, but if there are lots of hedges and trees you may to to bring in some help. I know of people that spend a thousand or two a year on tree work etc.

Is there potential to make the house bigger in the furture. It would seem like the sensible plan for your family would be to move to a larger home perhaps after having children, as 1000 sq ft is small.

Is it walkable into the vilage? You may find having to get into the car to go anywhere less of a boon with a baby in a pushchair. Plus it is nice for kids to have neighbours to play with. We lived on the endge of the village up a lane with no neighbours but have moved into the village, I love that to kids can go and knock on a door for someone to play with.

View the house first.
If still keen get an agent in to value yours and highlight the extras.
Talk to parents about potential costs/childcare and see what they would be able to help with without burdening them - this will give you a more realistic idea of childcare costs/any funds that they may want you to have.
Make sure you get a full survey - no point having a dream home if there are underlying issues that will cost you far more in the long run.
If nothing has put you off after all of this then I say go for it but maybe delay the TTC for another year to get your bearings.

I wouldn't do it. Not just because of no central heating and no downstairs loo, but while isolated living is fine as an adult and if you can drive as a kid it sucks.
I lived rurally and my friends either had to rely on parents to come over or had to leave early to catch a bus. Or if in town I had to leave early to get the last bus.
The internet, crap as it was back then was even worse in the sticks and there was often fuck all to do.

Just a thought about storage heating, I know everyone seems anti it but my parents have it in their home, they have been there 30+ years and it's fine, always warm. The only thing that is annoying is the delay in results when turning it up/down but it really has never been an issue and they could have easily afforded to replace it. Their electricity bill isn't too bad either!

Good luck OP! Tricky decision! Xxx

A few additional thoughts (most of mine having already been covered!)

• do you like gardening? (I presume yes!)
• what potential is there to extend the house in the future - if finances allow and family circumstances require - any restrictions on this?

Pretty sure OP won’t be posting a link - if it were me, I wouldn’t want to share it with any number of potential competitors for my dream home either!

I love the idea of being out in the sticks, no neighbours etc.

But realistically, I have 2 kids. I’m already a taxi service, being further out of my village would mean this is the situ for even longer, as even as teenagers, they wouldn’t be able to get out to their friends/school independently etc

If you don't do it, you might spend the rest of your life kicking yourself.

If you do go for it, then who knows what the future might bring.

At least investigate everything really thoroughly and make lists of all the pros and cons (especially the cons) and look long and hard at the sacrifices you are prepared to make, and those that would make your life harder.

Then toss a coin. Best of 3. If you get to 3 and it is a no, how do you feel? Do you want to keep going and try best of 5 in the hope it comes out different?

I think if you can haggle them down a bit so you are pushing yourself a bit less to your max financially, then you should buy it. Some houses are almost like people and they just call to you.

Realise I am not helping at all. Sorry I think advice to view it is sensible, just in case it's shit.

Also, not to be a downer but some people take years to conceive and some never do, so don't assume it will happen for you guys instantly. I think you need to at least explore this house dream a little more or you'll always wonder what if. At least if you don't end up doing it, you will be able to make peace with that and move on.

It's quite possible the septic tank will become unlawful to use by 1st January 2020. See this www.wte-ltd.co.uk/septic_tank_general_binding_rules_2020.html

It'll be a nightmare. Fine if you could still be a SAHM, but living 2miles from anywhere while needing to use childcare and do schoolruns massively outweighs the childhood dream element. Your existing home sounds perfect, way better for starting a family. That's your next project, you've got it all planned out and I'd be wondering why you're considering nuking that vision for a house that has very few pro's and a lot of cons. Sounds like a last min procrastination kinda thing, exciting in the moment but storing up a world of aggro for the future. Honestly, the number of mums on here who bemoan their rural haven when the reality of school/transport kicks in. Don't do it. Childhood dreams are for children. You want to be a mum. Live that dream now.