Talk me out of buying this house!

[RainbowMe]

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

Link! Link! I really want to see it.

Lots of solutions here:

Septic tank - not too much of a problem honestly :)

No heating - get them to leave the storage heaters, log burners aren’t too much of s problem (we had no heating at all but one for over a year!)
Gas oven - you don’t need to be on mains gas to have a gas oven, lots of people use Calor gas bottles :) (seriously not a big issue!)

Check - boiler

If you can live in it, you’ll be away - if you have dreamt about it and wanted it for your future life and dh is on board is buy it!

We bought a house when ds1 was born which required a lot of work. It was v hard with first baby at the same time, it was just hard living (kitchen and bathroom not great, doing up rooms one by one etc) and I got quite depressed after a year. I feel I missed out on a lot, and even just the enjoyment of him, which makes me sad. Later, I had twins and it was honestly so easy compared to the house and first baby combo. I really enjoyed it all. I never have up the dream of sahm and managed it for 10 years. It's really priceless albeit hard work being with your kids and if it's something you really want then I'd prioritise it over a hard-work house any day.

Ok I’m going to speak as someone who both makes good financial decisions and who bought a house which needed a lot of love and money. House being not one of those sound financial decisions, but heart over head....

Don’t do this with a newborn. Your husband doesn’t earn a huge amount and you’d be totally dependent on his salary. Your £30k will be gone well before you’ve done the essentials on this house. It will be very very expensive to maintain. We have spent many hundreds of thousands of pounds on our house, well over what I was expecting to spend. EVERYTHING will cost more than you think. Please trust me on this. You’d be giving up any semblance of financial security for this house. Do you really want this for your child?

@RainbowMe I meant that the £400 is for the luxuries

Yes, that's what I thought you meant. In my view, that makes this an affordable dream! It's not like you NEED both your salaries, to keep your heads above water, is it?

Have you worked out what your mortgage repayments would be if you added an extra £80k? This calculator is very good -- ignore the bits about overpayments.

How much would you have left (out of your DH's salary) then?

I always wanted to live by the sea and moved right next to the beach 17 years ago, miles from any decent roads, supermarkets, hospitals, schools etc. I haven't regretted it once teenage children moan about the remoteness but teenagers need something to moan about and seeing the sea every day is part of my life now. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. If you have a dream, go for it!

Haven't read all the thread so apologies if I'm repeating something a PP said, storage heaters as in new modern ones are great and can be really cheap to run if you're on the correct tariff. If they're new they also have an option to have them on and heating when its nor off peak rates. Don't let that put you off.

Have you costed in full time childcare? What if you have more than one child? How flexible are your hours and those of your DH?

I grew up in an idyllic setting. The house needed a lot of work to maintain (not improve) and the garden took enormous amounts of time (no money for gardener). My parents free time was reduced further because me and brother had to be driven absolutely everywhere.

It occurred to me recently that my brother and I both bought newish houses with all mod cons, manageable gardens and transport links

I never gave up the dream of being a sahm, that should say. Honestly OP, I really wouldn't. Enjoy your baby and being a mum rather than being a parent to difficult house! (Ps. Anxiety may get worse with a baby).

I shall go through them all with husband tonight and have a chat and decide whether to give the estate agents a ring!

Your self-control is amazing! I'm so impulsive, I'd have had two viewings already and probably put in an offer! which is why you have lovely savings and I don't Definitely go for a viewing, if only for the chance to walk around your childhood dream home. Have you ever been inside it before?

I agree with brewhaha that you need to have a serious look at the running costs. My ILs live in a house a bit like this and their expenses are hideous. Insurance, council tax, oil, wood for the fires/log burners, some kind of special water filter, loads of petrol because they have to drive everywhere, maintaining the ride-on mower, etc, etc.

Having said that, it sounds to me as though you can afford it, and you are only 30, so you have years to do improvements. I spend all my spare time working on my house, which is a major project, and we are on a tight budget to afford it, but I have never been happier. (I’m a worrier too ) Life is short! As long as the house is safe if/when a baby arrives, you’ll be fine. Good luck whatever you decide.

My parents house (my childhood home) had no heating and a septic tank and it's fine.

If you can afford it, I'd say do it!

Don't do it! I've lived on a building site and it's so incredibly stressful. I definitely wouldn't do it again and that's without factoring in a newborn.You actually need to assess what works practically for your new life with a baby. This 'dream' house doesn't.
That's not to say you can't plan a move to a similar type of house in your next 5-year-plan. I just don't think it makes sense when you're ttc. Your dream house isn't a baby friendly house. It might be a child-friendly house and you could factor it into your life when your DC is older.

Come on OP lets 'ave a butchers and this ere gaff if you want more accurate opinions!

It maybe a tad awkaward to sell and they may take a lower offer then the guide price etc..

I'm not going to help either - I'd have to buy it. There are so few sensible sized and priced properties with a decent sized plot, so if it's within reach I'd jump at it. However, if you want a reality check, go and view it and think about whether or not you could manage with a woodburner / fire until later on. Jumpers are a wonderful invention, and would be well balanced by the time you'd be able to enjoy in your lovely garden. Also think about how you'd manage without a car - these things happen. Bicycle? Would you be able to get a cheap/free supply of wood, etc etc.

For me, it would be the perfect opportunity to take a step back and reassess priorities, be able to encourage any offspring to appreciate nature, and the beautiful world we live in rather than the latest toys/gadgets.

You will undoubtedly need to move fast though, a developer will snap it up if thy can get planning permission. My dream home, which was by then a wreck, was sold at a price I could have just about stretched to but wasn't quick enough. The guy then got pp for two big houses, split the lovely grounds, and that was that, each house went up for more than twice what he paid for the plot. Give yourself a reality check before making a choice you later regret. Good luck, whatever your decision.

It's not as if it has no heating, and lots of people live with a septic tank.

Some posts are assuming the house is a wreck and it doesn't seem to be at all. And if you did decide to offer for it you'd presumably get a full survey done.

No downstairs toilet is a nuisance but not impossible.

No garage, but a huge garden? Parking won't be an issue then though garden maintenance might be.

You maybe know if you could live in an isolated place. Some people love it, others couldn't. Personally I'd want to be able to walk easily into the village for milk but that might not matter to you.

The main thing would be child care if you have to go back to work.

If it's too isolated later, much later, when you have older children, you can move again.

As much as I love our house, it isn’t my dream home, but my dream home would cost an extra £100k and we would rather live comfortably and have lots of luxuries rather than live in my dream home. We can afford to over pay the mortgage, go on abroad holidays and financially we are in quite a good place.

I love that we have a downstairs toilet, it is so useful with small children and the one house we had that didn’t have one, I missed it immensely. I know you aren’t yet pregnant, but I wouldn’t buy a house that would mean you are so stretched financially mean You would always have to work full time. You want that to be a choice, not a necessity because you need all the money you can get to pay the mortgage. So many mums opt for working part time because they don’t want to leave their babies every day so I think if you have the option not to work full time for ever, you should be sticking with whatever you can to do that.

Parkland grass pretty but will need ride on mower.
Then
Unless the OP intends to let it be more of a meadow with wildflowers and lots of bees. That's what I'd do with a large garden.

We have a very large garden - about 1/2 an acre of lawns, and a further acre paddock of kept as a "wildflower" meadow. Do not underestimate the work keeping it maintained (aside from the hedges and trees).

We have a ride on mower for the paddock which we just use to cut paths through, so it is accessible, usable land that we can enjoy walking through. I do this weekly from March till about end October.

You still also need to get the long grass cut down at least twice a year (such as made for hay or raked up & composted- tried that once and it half killed me). Or you'll need to borrow some sheep, to eat it right back. That is how many wild flower meadows are maintained. They arent just left to their own devices. If the grass is not maintained you'll end up with a long, tussocky, matted mess. Which no wildflowers will be able to grow through.

OP unless you are really keen on gardening I really really wouldnt take on a property that size - it will end up a ball and chain.

Go for it. You only live once.

Septic tank - no big deal

Storage heaters - not ideal but you could replace in time

No downstairs loo - good for your fitness

I can't see how that's possibly financially given that you'd have childcare costs, plus extra costs for things like commuting if you're more isolated. Think about the availability of child care if you're in the middle of nowhere. With small children, neighbours who are less than two miles away can come in very useful!

I wouldn't. Enjoy your time with your baby. What use is a big garden if there's no other kids for miles for them to play with in it? Houses like this are like money pits and one repair could end up costing you a fortune which could be hard if you have overstretched yourself.

OP, is it listed? If it isn't, and you don't have any near neighbours, you will very likely get planning permission in a few years to extend (when you want more space & have the funds).

You should definitely go and see it. You will either love it. Or it won't be at all what you expect, and there'll be no decision to make. Go!!

I'd definitely go and view because you need to resolve this in your own mind. The resolution needs to be absolutely ruthless and then you make your peace with it whichever way you decide.

Read all the Pros and Cons listed here and put them on separate sheets. Go through those lists together before you go and see the property and while you're there note anything extra that you pick up from actually seeing and being in the house and garden.

Do you drive? can you afford to run a car? How many children would you like to have? Are you happy to edit down possessions so you stay comfortable in your space? Do you feel the chill or are you both put another jumper on types?

No one else can advise you: one man's trash is another one's treasure, but I would say imagine yourself with a crying and hungry baby in your arms, you're having to budget hard, you've had a bad day and just made it home in the bitter cold, wind and rain - does this house put a smile on your face and feel like you're 'home' or is it just another problem and you wonder what on earth you were thinking?

Some things in life are worth making sacrifices for and some dreams are seen through rose tinted glasses and need to stay a dream. Go and find out, but be 100% realistic.

It sounds like a fucking terrible idea! Do not buy it. What is the point of stretching yourself so much for some bricks and mortar. You already have a nice house and can afford a nice life for yourselves, far better than most people have.

If you don't buy it OP, I will! Seriously, I bet there's competition for it. It sounds like your 'heart' house, rather than your 'head' house. Some things don't work on paper, but are meant to be. Go for it if, on balance, you think you'll cope with it all and your gut tells you to. I would, anyway. You can't always take the sensible route. Life needs to be more interesting than that. Haven't yet RTFT, but that's my instant reaction to your OP.