Would you take the train up to your dd at university to give her cash?

[EleanorReally]

She seems to have no working bank card,
the app on her phone has only just installed and therefore doesnt work
of course by the time i can get there , this weekend, she may well be ok
should I suggest dh go?

Not a chance would I piss around like that. There are dozens of ways to get money to your daughter. You can even authorise your bank to issue a set amount of cash from a branch ATM using your phone banking app. All she needs is the code the give you.

No way. Do online shop order for her. Bank will give cash with photo ID

Fair enough Eleanor

thanks, that is what she asked for but my bank didnt seem to know anything about that. chester and doxxed.
how do you do that?

Could she lying about her bank card and has gotten into debt with an overdraft because most apps let you use emergency cash code.

Couldn't she borrow some from her mates?

perhaps she is lying?
hmm.
I will try and speak

She’s 22?

If you have a smart phone and a banking app, have a look for a bit that's says "Get cash" or similar

Even if she can’t go into a bank, aren’t there places like Western Union that you can transfer cash through.

Dd binned one account that refused to work after weeks and weeks of problems.
Staff at the bank thought she was being stupid not knowing how to operate one of those key card things.

Weeks after she had changed to a bank that just had passwords they sent her a new key card because her card was one of a batch that didn’t work.

Awww my parents used to do this when I was an irresponsible student. It was lovely! FWIW I couldn’t really manage bank transfers etc because I’d be so overdrawn your cash would get eaten up in fees so maybe she’s in a similar situation?

Depending on who you’re with, I know Natwest do something called emergency cash- you can get up to x amount (60 I think if not registered for online banking and 300 if you are) via telephone banking or your app and they give you a code. Take this code to any Natwest, rbs or Tesco cash machine and you can get the cash out. If you’re with Natwest or rbs or a bank that has similar, get the code and give it to your daughter and she’ll be able to use it.

I've been in this situation as a broke uni student who had lost her bankcard! I got my dad to transfer money to my best friend at uni and she withdrew it for me. For future reference this is really easy and less effort than a 2 hour journey

I’d be worried if my (assumed NT) 22 year old couldn’t solve a problem like that. She’s been at university for at least a year, and probably more, and she can’t manage to work this out on her own?

I do more for my (young adult) kids than most people on here would deem reasonable, but even I can’t be doing with helplessness like that. You need to kick her arse OP, before she gets a nasty shock in the real world.

She’s broke. She can’t access pinged money because she’s well over her overdraft, I suspect . You need a conversation about her money and her debts. Better to intervene now than have her find other ways to access money.
I wouldn’t drive two hours for a coffee but I would if they were unwell or were cagey about significant debt over the phone. In her case, I’d probably wait until she was home for the summer but let her know w were happy to help her sort whatever her financial pickle might be.

Management of student finances is hard when the start out. It’s a learning curve with a steep uphill section. Better to ping extra money if you can than have them take out dodgy loans or do work you wouldn’t want them doing.

I would but I have Mug written on my forehead.
I would have used it as an excuse to take her out for a meal/bonding time and listened to an audio book on the way.
But as you say, by the time you get there it will be redundant.
My DH would go though if ours was genuinely destitute. That said, both of us coped - Me: bank with ID/overdraft. Him: barenaked pasta with ketchup/gatecrashing weddings.

If she expected you to do this I don't think you've brought her up right

What a helpful comment.

I wonder how many people on this (and the other thread about a teenager/young adult in AIBU at the moment, the one about kicking out the 18 year old DS) actually have teenage or young adult children. I don't, I have a baby and I recognise that this means I might have some lofty ideals but I have as much idea about how I'll parent a teen now as I had about how I'd parent a baby when I was pregnant (i.e., fuck all).

Fwiw, my parents (my dad in particular) did some very indulgent things for me when I was at university and I turned out as a perfectly functional adult.

Can you send cash via Western Union?

Her App works right away or her digital banking can send her a code for the ATM she is yanking your chain about something she is probably skint.

Has she got Apple Pay? It's saved my DCs when bank cards have been misplaced lost while drunk

It depends which bank, I can't get cash out using my app. She's probably just broke, last week of term. Few student accounts let you go over your overdraft, as the overdrafts are substantial and interest free. I'm sure she'll be fine today

Do her an online shop and have it delivered to her.

her card doesnt work apparently

If she has no money I would sigh and go but she would need to tell me the truth because I am not believing a 22 year old woman has no internet banking