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AIBU?

To not tell the bride and groom?

139 replies

AmazingGrace16 · 19/05/2019 04:58

Maid of honour and best man here. Wedding starting at 3pm although obviously we've both got bits to do before then.
We've both come down with a tummy bug. It's not so horrific that it's constant... we've had one episode each.

Do we tell the bride and groom? I'm thinking no and just crack on unless it bubbles up again. But AIBU?

We've got two girls who seem fine too....

OP posts:

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Tilly28 · 19/05/2019 07:15

I can’t believe people are saying go. If you’re ill you’re ill. Tell the bride and groom you’re ill and stay away. You could potentially cause a whole wedding party and guests to become ill. At best man and maid of honour it would be impossible to stay away from the B+G especially for photos/meal etc!

Medievalist · 19/05/2019 07:25

Definitely tell the bride and groom. Say you'll still go dosed with Imodium (no homeopathic shit) but better they know in advance that you might suddenly bolt for the loo. That way they can have a back up plan ready just in case.

Namastbae · 19/05/2019 07:27

It's nerves. You'll be fine.

user1474894224 · 19/05/2019 07:33

Do not tell b&g. It's only a tummy bug. Immodium now. When the large boots opens get enterosgel - you take it in water after each episode of d or v. It's magic. (Normally we wouldn't take the immodium but in this instance get that down you both). Tell him by to man up. Although if he keeps puking you actually will have to tell them. But see if he can man up first. I'm getting married next Sat - I could deal with being ill after the event. My OH would stress if he new about this though. So keep quiet and get on with it. If either of you flakes after the meal during the reception then B&G will probably be having such a good time they won't be bothered.

TanMateix · 19/05/2019 07:34

Agree it may be the nerves.

Spicypizza · 19/05/2019 07:37

Don’t take Imodium. The bug needs to leave your body.

NiceViper · 19/05/2019 07:39

There are 48 exclusion rules for very good reason.

It does sound as if you have an illness, one that is likely to be contagious.

Are you sure that no guests are elderly, pregnant, babes in arms or immune compromised?

Would you go into a crowd (presumably indoors) intaining such people at any other time?

Do you think people wouid want their wedding to be remembered as 'the one where everyone got ill'?

Given your roles in the bridal party, you know them well enough to talk to them. If you're going to bring avoidable risk to their party, at least let them share in that choice.

jcq17 · 19/05/2019 07:43

One bout of the shits is pretty irrelevant crack on don't tell them you'll be fine.

awalkintheparka · 19/05/2019 07:48

You can't bail! I went to a wedding and the bride had severe D and V. She powered through (looking extremely pale) and kept disappearing. She was in bed by 8pm but if turned out to be norovirus (she had a lot more sickness and poo episodes than you described) and this was days before Xmas!

Drink water and diroylte to replenish the body and Imodium to bung you up before the wedding starts. You'll be fine

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/05/2019 07:49

The b&g will only panic- chemist/ hot water/ dry toast- and don’t tell em

Haisuli · 19/05/2019 07:51

I had stabbing pains all afternoon one day this week. Suddenly had to run to look and thought I was definitely ill, but I wasn't, I was fine later on. Hopefully it'll all be same for you two. Good luck

Bubblysqueak · 19/05/2019 07:52

With just one episode it could be anything, stress of the wedding, something you are, not necessarily a bug.

UpsydaisyandIgglePiggleareatit · 19/05/2019 07:53

What did you wat last night? Was it the same thing? Any temperatures going on?

If you think it’s just something you ate then Imodium (you can actually get itat places like home bargains, don’t need to worry about a chemist)
Also could be nerves as PPs have said, everything goes through me even when I’m slightly nervous... the whole fight or flight thing... your body wants to dump everything in preparation.
Do you feel really unwell or just a funny tummy? Generally speaking if I have a bug I feel awful on a bigger scale but if it’s too much spicy food, nerves, eaten something a bit dodgy it’s just the tummy area.
If you really think it’s definitely a bug then tell them and come up with a game plan. Just a dodgy tummy... Imodium and crack on.

Propertywoes · 19/05/2019 07:53

Id just take an immodium and get on with it.

INeedNewShoes · 19/05/2019 07:56

One episode doesn't really sound like a bug; more like something you've eaten.

If it stops at that I think you're fine to go and not tell B&G.

CupOhTea · 19/05/2019 08:00

If it was just one bout of diarrhea I'd have said to go, as it's probably nerves. But the sickness isn't very usual for adults unless they've got a bug. Or is it more common for your DH? What did he eat / drink last night? My DH cannot hold his drink at all and would be sick if he drank even a few pints.

Fwiw, I didn't find out till much later, but a handful of my close friends who had traveled to my wedding had a bug. No sickness, but diarrhea. I didn't get it and AFAIK, nobody else did either*. They all attended the wedding and all the parties either side of the wedding, (my parents hosted a few things). I had no idea anything was up! I was kissing and hugging them etc and we were off on honeymoon the Monday after the Saturday wedding. It was fine, but it could easily not have been. Quite lucky really.

*But, I don't know if I was shielded from that too! It was years ago, so I assume I'd habe found out by now.

XiCi · 19/05/2019 08:02

It wouldn't even cross my mind not to go after just one episode of diarrhoea.

It's probably nerves or something you have eaten.

stepbackfromthecircles · 19/05/2019 08:14

Just hope no one there is having chemo

Claphands · 19/05/2019 08:16

Kaolin and morphine is good for stomach upsets but not all pharmacies stock it these days

ddl1 · 19/05/2019 08:16

I think you should tell them, in case the wedding group includes elderly people, babies, people with immunity problems, or others who shouldn't be exposed; or the bride and groom themselves may have travel plans that would be messed up if they caught it. Very likely they'll say they're not worried, but you should give them the chance. If they do want you to go, then I think you should if at all possible.

NeverTwerkNaked · 19/05/2019 08:20

Goodness, no wonder tummy bugs spread so fast!

Bubblysqueak · 19/05/2019 08:21

Thinking about it I feel really sick when nervous (even if I don't realise I'm nervous) and always get a dodgy tummy when stressed or nervous. It could just be that.

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ddl1 · 19/05/2019 08:22

'Kaolin and morphine is good for stomach upsets but not all pharmacies stock it these days'

One word of warning: if you've never taken it before, you should probably not do so for the first time in this situation. I once took it and had a really bad reaction; I don't know whether it was to the kaolin or the morphine but it made me quite ill.

Imodium is often good in such situations, as others have suggested. You will have to find a pharmacy open on Sundays; but you could also ask the pharmacist what he/she recommends - they're often pretty good with suggestions.

Yesicancancan · 19/05/2019 08:34

Is it constant or ... one episode
Which is it?
Don’t go. Not fair on others if it’s constant

constantcaller · 19/05/2019 08:38

I think you should tell them and let them decide! Very selfish to just go and not say anything and then spreading it around, it's not just nerves- one of you've puked and the other had the shits! Very selfish not to say anything!! Xx

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