To be jealous of people with 3 children

[LovingLife0]

I have a 3 and 2 year old and DP and I have recently decided that we won't be having a third child. We have been talking about it for the past year but have made our decision primarily on environmental reasons.

Since making this decision I have become OBSESSED with families with 3+ children. For example I can't stop thinking how Kim Kardashian has 4 children and how many her children will have and all the carbon footprint. I also follow a few 'eco' families on insta who have as many as six children. As you can see I'm irrationally obsessed!! I KNOW everyone is entitled to their own choice and it's none of my business but I guess I'm just jealous!

I suppose I'm looking for advice on how I can move on from our decision to stop at 2 while not being jealous of people who go on to have large families?

Yes. Do that, and stop at a maximum of 2 children. 1 or none would obviously be better.

Don't be.

If you really want a 3rd, go for it.
Personally 3 children is a nightmare to me 😂 light hearted
More expensive holidays, bigger car, but everyone has their own needs.
It is an honourable choice, saving the environment is a good reason, but it is like the MMR unless everyone is doing it, it is pissing in the wind.
I get it is a cultural choice for many family's to have 6+ DC.
Try other methods to save the environment if you go for it.

People on this thread keep saying 'a third won't make a difference'. I can only imagine many people have said that and gone ahead with the third child. So now it has actually made a difference, it all piles up.

I couldn't think of anything worse than 3 children but then my circumstances are not goid.

You can enjoy your family of three kids without being snide about smaller families, you know.

I was responding to a PP who said people with 3 or more kids couldn't parent them properly. And as for mydogisbest, well I hope you're going to tell her off as well if you think my comments were beyond the pale.

You sound ungrateful. Some people cannot have 1 child, so count yourself lucky with 2. Also hypocritical to talk about carbon footprint of having more than 2, as having any children is basically the same argument.

Anything to make yourself feel better I guess

All the “its makes no difference” comments that means we as a species are basically fucked. It’s incumbent on the majority of us to do the right thing - person by person. Two is better than 3 for so many reasons - principally environmental.

I’m one of 3 and have two. It’s way better. You can do more stuff together it’s a better dynamic. Someone’s always left out in a 3. Plus less guilt. And more money.

I was one of three. I have three. No one was left out in either family.

That’s your view. I was fine in our family as the eldest. The youngest felt left out. Anyway that’s semantics - having more than 2 isn’t justifiable no matter how much recycling you do.

it is like the MMR unless everyone is doing it, it is pissing in the wind

Which is a pretty astonishing statement about both the MMR and about an individual's carbon footprint.

1. Even if you were the only one in your entire city to give the MMR to your children, they would be almost 100% protected
2. The entire world is just made up of individuals. The entire environmental crisis is down to individual people making individual decisions (and not just some faceless 'big businese' idea, big businesses are only there to fulfill human desires). Every single one of the millions of children being born this year was at some point the result of a human choice. Telling people their choice is meaningless is a very quick way to send us all to a hellish future - or no future at all.

Well you have to pick something to build your metric by. If you think it is unconscionable to have three on environmental grounds, that's fine. There's no need to suggest that it's inevitable that someone will miss out in a family with three children.

I feel stuff has changed even in the last 6 months. People are waking up. So many of us living as we do just isn’t sustainable. It just isnt. I wish this wasn’t true but seems it is.

Even if you were the only one in your entire city to give the MMR to your children, they would be almost 100% protected
Really I did not know this.
That's a relief.
Why are schools insisting on herd immunisation.
I am pro vax, I have noticed the uproar at parents who are anti.

I have three. The third one wasn’t planned and one of the considerations that came into play when we were deciding what to do was the environment. I absolutely adore her and know I made the right choice in the circumstances but I feel selfish, greedy and guilty that she exists because of the environment and the fact that the planet is bursting.

Three is a lot. It’s a lot of mess, money, time, guilt and worry. All these bigger families you see, its just a moment in time and it really is hard work behind the scenes, and I’m someone who doesn’t mind hard graft. Going back to work is going to be expensive and complicated, I feel lost and overwhelmed about how I’m going to do it.

I often do little activities with the older two whilst my husband stays with the baby and it’s just wonderful to be able to give them decent attention. Two really is plenty. I feel like a much worse mum because I have three which is horrible.

I have three kids. My carbon footprint is tiny plus there’s more of us to help with the recycling.

I'm going to spend the rest of this thread boggling at this statement. No wonder the planet is in a state.

@EmeraldShamrock they push for herd immunisation because not everyone can be vaccinated.
For example, we previously lived overseas in an area that had low (90%) vaccination rates. My older DCs were vaccinated but DS3 was too young, it made me scared every time I did the school run and heard of another child ill with measles.
Another friend's baby ended up catching it and was in hospital with inflammation of the brain - can't remember the right word for it, but she was in for 3 weeks and afterwards she was like a different baby, with no more babbling and had developmental delays.
As soon as he was old enough receive the MMR I was thrilled, it felt like I could finally protect him.

Plus people with reduced immune systems, people with severe allergies who cannot receive it, older people who may never have been fully immunised, and even for the people who have been immunised, the risk is vastly lower but one in a thousand events do.happen. A ton of reason to support herd immunisation and wipe.out measles for good.

@ArcheryAnnie It's so funny isn't it. The reason why she needs help with the recycling is because she is now creating more waste. What's not clicking?

I have 2 kids and look at people with 4 and think god glad i don't have 3. 2 is more than enough.

How do they afford all the university fees?

I just run an old car and don't drink shop bought coffees

How do they afford all the university fees?

Not everyone goes to university (or indeed wants to) and there are student loans available for those that do. Plenty of parents help out in other ways such as providing low cost/free room and board if their child is at a local university or they send them money to help with the cost of food/rent. In the real world, most people at university aren't being bankrolled by their parents.

You cannot base the number of children you have on the fact that some people cannot have one. You should be grateful to have a child/children but it doesn't mean you can't want one more.

Having children isn't selfish. Having no children doesn't mean you are doing a brilliant job for the environment, sure having fewer people on the planet but at the end of the day OP do what is right for you.