To think diets don’t work

[BitterSweetSyn]

I’ve just come out of a Slimming World meeting, the biggest I’ve been ever been in my life.

Pre DC I always maintained a normal weight but joined WW after and lost all the baby weight but became a bit obsessed. Gradually gained back the weight plus another 2st so joined the gym, did PTs and got an eating plan. Lost the weight quickly, looked amazing but became obsessed with cheat days and if I messed up and didn’t stick to exactly what the plan said, I binged. Something I had never done before. I’d find myself sitting in the car after shopping, devouring crisps, then because I ruined it I’d eat nearly a whole loaf of bread with real butter at home because I was “starting again tomorrow”
Eventually I realized this was too restrictive so joined Slimming World, threw myself into the group, the online support etc and lost 1.5 stone. Still being about 3stone overweight this didn’t happen quick enough and I hated my body and my relationship with food was destroyed, still binging when I went over my syns.
Ended up coming off and deciding to do the Cambridge Diet. Somehow gained back 2stone before this but then lost 3stone but my relationship with food and myself was at an all time low. The binging was off the scales and I even started using laxatives to have results on the scales if I had overindulged.
Realized this was messing me up more than anything. Quit. Tried to repair my relationship with food and be normal. Binged straight for over a year and today I’ve went back to slimming world weighing 16st and worse still, the same people are there. Either the same size or bigger than ever.

I was normal before I tried to diet. I ate when I was hungry, I enjoyed cooking, I loved baking, food was an enjoyable thing to me.

I cant be the only one? I wish I had just walked and swam more after DC instead of entering this toxic abusive relationship with food.

There is a very easy to understand explanation of the yo-yo effect of dieting here

It's good that you recognise that your relationship with food is messed up. Could you concentrate on getting that positive relationship with food, and with your body back, rather than obsessing about weight for a bit?

I don't think there is one sensible eating plan that works for everyone. I try to stick to low gylcaemic load foods and that works for me, but I think we all need to find the sensible eating plan that works for us.

I also find regular exercise has made me appreciate what my body can do.

Diets will work if you are committed. But people (like me) who take their eye off and allow themselves to get larger, rather than eating controlled necessary portions, are going to fail, They set themselves up to fail.

You know the solution, you know how to lose weight, for whatever reason, you aren’t in the right frame of mind to do so.,

Everyone will tell you the same story in any weight loss group - they will stick rigidly to whatever plan - then gorge on whatever their emotional comfort food is, be that chocolate, cheese or ice cream. They will find an excuse to do it ; tomorrow is another day, I had a good week it's a treat, I had a bad week it’s a treat; it’s only a little bit it won’t hurt, oh well I might as well finish it.

As I say, you know the solution, less food and more activity, one day I might take my own advice.

A "diet" — the word has picked up some negative connotations recently — is merely a word for some sort of eating plan to achieve some sort of objective.

If you're looking to lose weight then some type of plan is necessary

I think many people feel more comfortable referring to their plan as 'healthy eating' and that's great.

You just need to find what works for you. For some, it's Slimming World, for me it was WW, for others it's something totally different.

Good luck

Diets don’t work. If someone does manage to stick with it, they pretty much always gain the weight back once they stop the diet. The actual key is changing the way you eat. Eating healthier, eating less meat, less processed foods.

People gain weight after dieting because they go back to the unhealthy, excessive eating habits that made them over-weight in the first place.

If they mostly stuck to the maintenance plan recommended, which for Slimming World is just normal basic unprocessed healthy eating with limited processed food, sugar and other crap, then they would stay slim.

I agree. For a couple of years I got stuck in a cycle of gaining and losing the same 10lbs and going between Slimming World, low carb MFP etc. Now I just try to eat a balanced diet and walk everywhere, I also go cycling and am starting yoga next week. No diets, no cheat days, no constant weighing myself and plenty of chocolate if it's my period I feel a lot better to be free of it and my weight has levelled off somewhere in the middle. I think this is a much healthier approach than driving myself mad trying to get to the same weight I was 20 years ago !

A lot of “diets” are unsustainable and teach nothing about healthy eating habits. Slimming World for example tells participants that some foods are “free foods” and they can eat as much as they want of them - which means participants learn nothing of portion control and intuitive eating and managing hunger because they just prevent themselves becoming hungry by eating unlimited “free” foods instead. And when the diet stops, the weight goes back on because they go back to eating unlimited non-free foods as well.

Change your whole approach to food and eating and you’ll lose weight and keep it off. Break the link between emotions and eating. Stop using food as “treats”. Understand that actually, being hungry sometimes is a good thing and not something which has to be staved off with an immediate snack.

Being overweight is now the norm. I think more research focus should be placed on the people who have become the exception - slim people. What, if anything, do slim people have in common? How do their eating habits differ from people who are not slim and how are they able to go against the biological drive to overeat when food is in abundance?

But my eating was never bad before I started dieting, that’s what upsets me the most. I had a bit little bit of pregnancy weight to lose, maybe 1.5st.
My eating was never this way before.

There is more and more evidence available now that dieting doesn't work long term. There is a reason that diet companies don't research or publish 5 year maintenance rates; because their whole business model revolves around yo-yo dieters. This is not to say that people don't keep the weight off, but it's a small percentage.
Likewise with binge eating; our bodies are not designed to lose weight, so any "famine" will result in craving/bingeing, and it's usually the high calorie/fat/sugar stuff that we crave because your body is desperately trying to keep you from starving.
I don't have a lot of advice on the weight loss front, I'm afraid...I just won't diet any more. I decided that my mental health was suffering after 30+ years of dieting. I had about 6 months where I ate everything I wanted, so gained about a stone, but the novelty soon wore off...when your food relationship repairs, there is a realisation that some food just doesn't make you feel good, and that being over full is really uncomfortable. I haven't had a binge in 2 years, and my eating is easy, enjoyable, and I don't obsess about it. I can also keep chocolate, crisps, etc in the house without wanting to hoover them all...I rarely think about them now.
I had a health check last month(I'm 46), and despite being overweight, all my healthmarkers were excellent and I was only told to get a little bit more exercise.
I'm fatter, but I'm happier and more confident than I ever have been in all those years I was restricting/bingeing/thinking I was a failure for not being able to diet. It's the diet's fault...and they will set you up to fail every time.
Good luck, whatever you decide.

Can you not go back to the way you are before ?

Diets do work, you’ve shown that in your OP as you have successfully lost weight. It’s fixing the mindset and relationship with food and exercise, and different diets out there will work long term or not depending on the root cause behind the over eating.

At the end of the day you need to eat less than you burn off.

Personally I use my fitness pal, and track what I eat, there are no good foods bad foods cheat days/meals. If I have the calories i’ll eat it, if I don’t I save for another day or do an extra exercise to earn the calories for that treat. I try to stick to 80% good nutritious food and 20% of more treats foods. If I have a meal or a night out coming up and adjust my eating in the build up to bank calories.

Overall it has to be a mind shift to succeed I have been a notorious dieter with highs and lows, probably taken me 9 years but my mind is in a much better place, and I’m much more successful in creating good eating habits

Ladygloss that sounds like a great plan.

Sorry I meant your plan.
Food had no real significance to me before I looked at is as points, syns and carbs.
I would love to get back to that

Have you tried Paul McKenna? It’s about listening to your body, eating slowly and stopping when you suspect you are full.

The other thing that is really current at the moment is cutting down on carbs because they are felt with by insulin. the after effect of insulin is more hunger, or binging if you’re like me. Research shows much better long term results for lower carb than other diets.
Google dr Michael Mosley he’s put all the research together, and his new book The Fast Diet has a great follow up maintenance plan.
It’s a lot of info if it’s new to you, but there are interviews on YouTube where he talks about it all.

Are you thinking “ but it’s just another bloody diet” op? I cherished a thought that I would somehow just heal my relationship with food and be able to be like a normal thin person. And I am doing things to heal it but the weight has to come off too, and the two can go hand in hand.
I really get the trap you feel caught in, and I feel for you, it’s a very painful place.

Ive just lost 20 lbs on SW but over 6 months..... Ive still got more to loose (about another 15) but Im doing it really slowly. Ive found over this time that the main reason Ive managed to loose the weight (for the first time in my life sucessfully) is 98% mindset. So if Im on holiday / away for the weekend I eat what I like, but then I rein it back in again. If Im away for a week I find that after 4 days of AI I dont want to eat more and more, I long for a jacket potato or some poached eggs. So over time it isnt really even feeling like a diet. I eat eggs with vege for breakfast, or youghrt and fruit with museli. Big sald for lunch with left over chicken or ham and egss or tuna, and then a normal dinner, but with less stodge and more vege. I also hardly ever snack now.

To begin with it felt like a big chance, but not now. So I think if you stick to the plan, and loose 3 stone in 4 months, and then just go straight back to the way you ate - then its not the "diet" that isnt working. its the mindset. I think too many people want results instantly so are too restrictive, and then crack and eat a whole loaf of bread. If I have a week where I go out and drink / eat with friends, and I dont loose any weight Im not bothered .... I have to be honest doing it slowly and letting my body adjust to a new way of being has meant that I have realised how dangerously disordered my eating was before SW. So if you feel disordered, go about reinstroducing order first (3 meals a day and limit snacks), then maybe pick a loose plan to follow to give you structure. Its bloody hard work loosing weight and sticking at it.

I cherished a thought that I would somehow just heal my relationship with food and be able to be like a normal thin person. And I am doing things to heal it but the weight has to come off too, and the two can go hand in hand.

This is exactly how I feel. I wish I could go back to being my post pregnancy weight, realistically it was only a slight mum tum and probably would have come off itself over time.
Now though, I’m obese and it does need to come off.

I’ll look into those suggestions, thank you

Diets work but only if you stick at them and it can be awfully restrictive that way. For me, I did WW years ago and have managed to maintain ever since. WW taught me to limit carbs (But not eliminate, I need my pasta. I could never do Atkins!) And that lean protein and veg/ fruit should form the bulk of my meals. And to move more. So I've just tried to stick to those principles and that has done me right. It's a hard lesson though and I do have periods where I fall off the wagon and I have to be strict for a small period of time to get to a comfortable, healthy weight. It's been a journey but I know I'm happier and more confident when I am mindful of what I eat and do more exercise but have treats now and again.
It seems to me you need to look at what you're eating and why, I know when I started being more mindful I was shocked at what I could consume without thinking. Good luck OP, I hope you find the path that's right for you X

YANBU. It's not that I don't think they work. It's that I think WW, Slimming World, etc lead to disordered eating. They are ultimately setting you up to "fail" and they depend on repeat business... "oh well SW worked for me when I lost 2 stone 5 years ago, I'll just go back and lose this 3 stone I've put on..."

I wish I'd never set foot in one of those meetings. I have rarely been the weight I was when I first walked into one (having spent most of my adult life heavier).

change -a big change!

Diets do work.
What diets don't do is keep the weight off if you don't eat accordingly to the diet.

If you stick to your diet you will continue to lose weight until you make a decision to either maintain (and adjust accordingly) or you make a decision to stop dieting.
Why we have decided that losing weight on a diet - then coming off the diet and eating in the exactly the same way which made us pile the weight on in the first means diets don't work baffles me.

I have come to the conclusion after (so far) losing 4st, that I need to practice, practice, practice my MAINTENANCE diet.

I've lost through diet and exercise, and I'm still working on the last 2.5st, but slowly. I actually think it's better that way. Rather than gunning for my goal weight, I'm getting really, really familiar with sustainable eating and exercise habits.

A positive sign was that I went on holiday for a month, and whilst I fitted in a couple of 20m gym sessions here and there and was fairly active, I still lost 3lb without tracking calories at all, because the eating habits are there.

I'm happy to continue losing nice and slowly now, so that my weight loss plan blends with my maintenance plan, rather than an abrupt end.

It's not that I don't think they work. It's that I think WW, Slimming World, etc lead to disordered eating.

You’ve actually explained it better than I could!
Yes of course diets work, if I start Cambridge again today I could be thin in 6months and that’s the appeal but it damages my relationship with food more each time.

I wish I'd never set foot in one of those meetings. I have rarely been the weight I was when I first walked into one (having spent most of my adult life heavier).

This is exactly how I feel I know it sounds dramatic but I rue the day!
It was a wake up call to see all the same faces there today, the same or bigger than before. Just like myself.

Op - one more thing. My sister used to compete at a very high level at a sport. She had to be v strict with eating / body fat etc as any thing like poor hydration, too much bad fat, can lead to a reduction in performance.

She has been amazing helping me. She told me - food is fuel. For millenia humans have had to eat food as fuel, but now we have unlimited choice. Go back to viewing food as fuel and not a daily / 3 times daily treat. Not - what do I want to eat - but What SHOULD I eat. Her message to me was always about health. IE I want to move more, eat in a more ordered fashion and loose weigh for health. I think your attitude towards food, motivation for weight loss, and attitude towards over indulgence will be the reason for success or failure. Not the actual method with which it is delivered.

Why we have decided that losing weight on a diet - then coming off the diet and eating in the exactly the same way which made us pile the weight on in the first means diets don't work baffles me.

Please read my OP and my posts as you will see this was not the case.

@HobbyIsCodeForDogging has it spot on.

I urge anyone who is tempted by dieting to read up on intuitive eating with a bit of body acceptance in the short term.