To think diets don’t work

[BitterSweetSyn]

I’ve just come out of a Slimming World meeting, the biggest I’ve been ever been in my life.

Pre DC I always maintained a normal weight but joined WW after and lost all the baby weight but became a bit obsessed. Gradually gained back the weight plus another 2st so joined the gym, did PTs and got an eating plan. Lost the weight quickly, looked amazing but became obsessed with cheat days and if I messed up and didn’t stick to exactly what the plan said, I binged. Something I had never done before. I’d find myself sitting in the car after shopping, devouring crisps, then because I ruined it I’d eat nearly a whole loaf of bread with real butter at home because I was “starting again tomorrow”
Eventually I realized this was too restrictive so joined Slimming World, threw myself into the group, the online support etc and lost 1.5 stone. Still being about 3stone overweight this didn’t happen quick enough and I hated my body and my relationship with food was destroyed, still binging when I went over my syns.
Ended up coming off and deciding to do the Cambridge Diet. Somehow gained back 2stone before this but then lost 3stone but my relationship with food and myself was at an all time low. The binging was off the scales and I even started using laxatives to have results on the scales if I had overindulged.
Realized this was messing me up more than anything. Quit. Tried to repair my relationship with food and be normal. Binged straight for over a year and today I’ve went back to slimming world weighing 16st and worse still, the same people are there. Either the same size or bigger than ever.

I was normal before I tried to diet. I ate when I was hungry, I enjoyed cooking, I loved baking, food was an enjoyable thing to me.

I cant be the only one? I wish I had just walked and swam more after DC instead of entering this toxic abusive relationship with food.

Hunger directed eating/intuative eating works. Its not a quick fix but Im down from 18 stone to 14 and a bit. My scales are mechanical so I struggle with exact ha.
Full disclosure I did about five days of slimming world in that but I have been on and off diets for years and they don't help long term.
low carb/5:2 etc are diets even if they claim they aren't like the others they are. Restricting foods isn't good imo listening to your body and actually thinking about what you want is.
I had a chinese last week a big one, before this it would lead to a
week long binge.Now it doesn't.
My food issues aren't fixed, just better. It will take time.

BookwormMe2 and IceIceCoffee you’ve both done amazingly! Well done and thanks so much for sharing!

I’m feeling really inspired!
And it doesn’t cost anything (except for the fact I have 3 books in my amazon basket and 1 in my Audible )

I think diets do work, I piled on 5 stone when I was pregnant with DD over 20 years ago, lost the lot on the Slimfast plan. Gained 2 stone of excess weight after DS 13 years ago, once again I did the Slimfast plan and lost it, my weight has been a stable 8,2-8,7, it goes up around Christmas or holidays but comes off naturally without calorie counting.

My suggestion, OP? Just forget about food. Fuck food - it can fuck the fuck off. Litterally. Fuck three meals a day, fuck cake, fuck coke, fuck chocolate, fuck all of it.

Eat a proper meal at breakfast and then when you're genuinely hungry. Eat good fuel. Fuck the rest.

If you change your mindset to realise it should be for fuel not for 'fun'. It works wonderfully. It breaks the cycle. Unless you're a chef, food shouldn't really be anyone's 'hobby'. Which it has become yours.

Fuck food - it can fuck the fuck off. Litterally. Fuck three meals a day, fuck cake, fuck coke, fuck chocolate, fuck all of it.

I’d love this on a canvas, all fancy with flowers like an inspirational quote

Great advise thank you!

I think it has to be forever (diet sounds temporary)and any diet/way of eating reliant on will power alone will fail. No one has infinite will power so there must be another way.
I read “Why we get fat” by Gary Taubes and that inspired me. He explains how you put weight on and the role of hormones (particularly insulin) because most people think it’s calories in and out but there is more to it than that.
In summary I was craving certain foods (yep starchy carbs and to a degree, sugar) so rather than have to constantly fight the urge I just don’t eat them any more. A bit like with ex boyfriends the best thing is the short sharp shock of cold turkey.

Not disagreeing with you as such OP but my personal experience with slimming world is that it's working really well for me. Plenty of veg, fruit, lean protein, a sensible amount of dairy and wholegrains, and a little bit of what you fancy (syns - I agree this terminology is annoying!). I've found the structure helpful and filling up on 'free' foods ('speed' foods especially) plus having the occasional treat has really helped me with staying on track.

I believe the sw plan for maintaining rather than losing weight adds in a few more healthy but calorie-dense foods like olive oil. So you're not keeping your body constantly in a calorie deficit but there's a structure to help you stay on track if that makes sense? I'd argue that in the main, it's not a 'diet' but just sensible healthy eating really, with a calorie deficit built into the plan without having to obsess about counting everything.

Yes there are some people who have disordered eating who may take the idea of free foods like pasta too far but you're supposed to have 'speed' food (basically veg or salad) as a third of your plate of food so again, it's built in to the plan to hopefully stop you going on an all-out binge. It may not be for everyone but I'm following it without feeing deprived at all, eating plenty (not ridiculous portions), cooking from scratch a lot more and losing the weight easily. Just my personal experience and I do get the frustration with diets in general, there are loads that are frankly ridiculous with cutting out whole food groups or basically starving yourself until you can't do it anymore and fall off the wagon massively!

I am sick of dieting too. I stick to it for a while, limit the foods that I like (which of course are all high calorie or high fat), then get pissed off with it. I decided to listen to my body. I am never hungry in the morning but I have always forced myself to eat breakfast, usually porridge, because it's good for me. By lunchtime i am starving again, hungry at dinner time, peckish in the evenings. I don't know if it's the same for other people, but eating makes me hungry. If I eat, I am hungry again within a couple of hours. Two weeks ago I stopped eating breakfast. For some reason I don't get hungry at lunchtime but I eat something small, maybe toast. If I am hungry mid morning or during the afternoon I eat some fruit, usually an apple or a banana. By dinner I am nicely hungry, (not starving) and I eat whatever I want, it might be a fry up, or stew, or fish and chips, whatever. I do try to eat a bit of extra veg, and I don't really snack in the evenings but my evening meal is unlimited and if we have dessert I will have some. So far i have lost half a stone, and I feel great. I am eating when I am hungry, and really enjoying what I eat. It's early days but I have high hopes that it will work long term.

Deadringer am finding exactly the same as you and also lost half a stone doing this...thinking I will probebly keep doing this as it seems easy and in tune with my body. I guess we need something which is easy and not too tricky to continue with. I often swim or walk mornings also, sort of like a routine. But if I eat something first thing especially toast...I'll be eating all day.

OP Diets do not work. They work for awhile and then nearly everyone binges on the forbidden food. You hate yourself and think about a new diet. You wonder what is the diet out there that will make me thin. As you have realised, you once were a normal intuitive eater who ate when they were hungry, ate what they were hungry for and stopped when satisfied. That is normal eating. Diets ruin that normal process.
Its big money making business is dieting. Always has been but most people fail again and again and blame themselves but the problem is dieting not you. I quit 20 years ago and once I had gone through the process of not banning any food and eating what I wanted, whenever, it changed to eating when truly hungry and eating what I really desired. I was hungry and food tasted amazing but I also only ate till I felt I could stop. Too much and I felt stuffed which made me feel blugh. My weight stabilised and then I started losing slowly. I exercised and naturally chose loads and loads of different veg, protein, fruits, cheeses, chocolate etc.

The only thing that's worked long term for me is a lifestyle change. I do 10 to 15,000 steps a day and only eat within an 8 hour window. I don't call it a diet because I eat whatever I want. I'm now in my 40s and for the first time since childhood I no longer obsess about my weight, what I'm eating etc. I can easily keep myself at a good weight without being hungry.

Anything that makes you feel deprived won’t likely work

I don’t think I’ve ever dieted like that (maybe once as a college student for a ball but it was almost a joke for three days)

OP, for tea I've just had macaroni cheese (that I made for the kids), marrowfat peas and sausages. That's the freedom you get with not dieting! My portion wasn't massive like it used to be either, because now I no longer obsess about food I don't seem to want as much so I don't bother to cook as much. Honestly, giving up dieting is like a weight lifted every pun intended!

My food issues aren't fixed, just better.

This is exactly how I feel. Giving up diets won't miraculously heal your relationship with food overnight, but it's a start.

Hi BookwormMe2

I have a lovely friend who's been on Slimming World for the entirety of the 20 years I've known her. She's been much the same size the whole time but I'd say SW are £5k better off. I wish she'd stop and just enjoy her life.

I’ve started listening to Just Eat It.
It’s enjoyable but so far it’s very focused on beauty standards and not so much about actually learning how to live without diets (I really do need to shift at least some of this weight)
So far it seems more focused on people with thin ideals and who’ve been overly influenced by “fitspo”
Does it get more obese person relatable does anyone know?

OP lots of helpful books, blogs, insta accounts on intuitive eating. Loads of anti diet support out there

I can't stick to a diet for my figure but I can for my health.

Somehow when I make it into an act of self love not self loathing it's easy.

So I eat food that tastes good, food that I enjoy cooking, and I don't punish myself for liking food. I also don't think about it all the time anymore like I did when I was dieting. And I'm not expecting my figure to change and magically change my life with it.

I can't imagine giving over that much of my time to a style of eating now. Most days I do not think about food all that much at all. And when I do it's as something fabulous or as something functional (preferably both at the same time).

Please check out JamesSmithPT on insta. He’s sweary but talks SO much sense about dieting.

Sorry I spoke too soon, the book she’s actually cover what I was going!

the stats of diet failure are shocking

Yup. Diets don't work, unless you count bingeing and dieting within a relatively small weight range as a way of controlling your weight, which I did for years until I hit my 40s and am now out of that weight range and not in a good way!

I have an addictive relationship with food, in that I'll eat and eat and eat junk food, thousands of calories at a time, if I don't stop myself.

I've recently read a book called Never Binge Again which is all about getting control over your cravings, and I haven't binged in the last 2 weeks. I haven't been trying to diet either, which really is a sort of counter-binge activity. I've just been eating healthily and avoiding snacking. I hope to eventually lose weight but for now I'm happy just to be free of the treadmill.

I agree! I think some of the diets somehow mess up your natural eating patterns and make you gain weight. I'd love to know the science behind it but I believe you can diet yourself fat.

Yes, there are books about stopping overeating and binging, that might be helpful.

Eugh. At 14 stone, you don’t need to diet to lose weight. You’re eating way too much and just need to eat normally (to be high healthy bmi) rather than a restricted diet (low/low healthy bmi). People who weigh less than you don’t all diet!