Aibu to feel the absolute RAGE with this Tinder date?

[Pulipatchouli]

I met a guy for a date and really liked him.
We fell out. Because I left a card through his letterbox which he said endangered his vulnerable clients. Obviously i found this offensive and utterly ridiculous. I'm sure his postman violates his mailbox often!
He keeps messaging me to say 'thanks for the lovely book you sent me but I don't want to go out with you'
And other patronising shit .
I am full of RAGE.

Because he acts like I am sending him presents to win him back when he is obviously a vain plonker!!
And breathe

This has more plot holes than Game of Thrones

If they were the books you posted through his letterbox I'm not surprised he doesn't want to see you - they're about 2 feet wide and probably made a hole in his floorboards.

So you went n one date with him, text messaged, posted a card, had a fight, stopped contact. Now he is texting about a book you know nothing about.
TBH my reaction would not be rage it would be . If he is still texting you just reply "I didn't send you a book or anything else, I've no idea what you are talking about. I agree that we should not see or contact each other again."

You don't seem to have the best luck with men

You've got to wonder about the lives of people who find it SOOOO hilarious to make endless fun of a poster who is clearly upset. The OP wasn't clear in her original post but she quickly gave enough information in subsequent posts for people to understand why she is upset. It's easy to see those who stood with the bullies and joined in the bullying when they were at school.

LTB. no idea whats going on

So he has a partner! It's obvious!

Depends what the card said.

If it said "I want to stab you"
Then I kinda understand where he's coming from.

Sounds awful Sharon

On paper, you sound like stalker material. I hope you don't have any rabbits or he's likely to find one in a pot on the hob

Just leave him be OP, block and forget. And don't send any more cards!

He’s married or living with someone, it’s obvious really.

OP just message to say the books aren’t from you, then block and move on. Maybe do some reading.

I don’t think so Charles, my questions were genuine to try and understand all the details as even with the update it didn’t really make sense. I still have no idea who the vulnerable clients are and that seems pretty relevant to the post. I do understand though why OP may not want to come back but genuinely think she’s probably better off without him.

Who are these vulnerable clients who can be endangered by a card?

And what is the postman doing, violating this man's letterbox on a regular basis?

I blame the Russians.

but genuinely think she’s probably better off without him

Doesn't sound like she's got much choice anyway

What was the card is the new cancel the cheque.

So dramatic!

You'll be screaming at the Sistine Chapel next.

I think Tindr date went well, she went back to his, dtdhad sex, left in the morning... So she knew where he lived.

I think it must be this - and clients means wife or at a real push kids or parents (would explain the rage).

if there has been a book it's either by someone knowing he's cheating and shit shirring or family member teasing him or another tinder date.

Either way OP just need to text back know nothing about a book do not contact ever again.

.

Was it asking him to join your downline?

@goose1964

Was it asking him to join your downline?

Hahahahahahaha!

You win the internet today, hun

Hmmm I must be in the minority here as I think he genuinely means clients and maybe provides therapy of some kind?
But is using them as a reason for her to leave him alone (rather than saying you’re scaring the s**t out of me) 🤷‍♀️

This thread is wonderful.

In lieu of the OP's participation, it might be worth us all thinking about what being a "bunny-boiler" really means.

To be fair, I haven't seen this card. Perhaps the message would send my eyebrows to live above my hairline for the rest of eternity! But what I notice is that for every MNer (and there were a lot) who said, "married", another thought the OP had been far too intrusive in sending a card. Again, I don't know what it said. But...

If us cynical lot are right to conclude "married" and it was a card that any single man would have been okay with, what about all the other women on this thread who wouldn't have dreamt of doing anything so forward as handposting a card after a great date and a week of messaging since? It is unusual, I admit, but it's not objectively that bad.

Presumably, all the posters who would never do something like putting a card through his letterbox would still be messaging this guy back-and-forth. Think about it.

I'm not suggesting that all single MNers go full-on Glenn Close with their online dates, but you don't have to make it easy for someone to see you behind his wife's back. 'Kay?

@AutumnCrow

Thank you!!

@Jamie
If the intention is to not see someone who is married (which for most of us that is our intention when dating) surely it’s better to just do your due diligence rather than crossing reasonable social boundaries? To invite yourself to someone’s address to hand post a card after 1 date is a bit of a boundary crosser for many

Yes. It is a boundary-crosser for many. And isn't it convenient for certain people that it's such a boundary-crossing act?

I dunno, the older I get, the more I notice women tying themselves up in knots to be polite, to be cool, to not be too pushy. And what does it get them? Being trampled over.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on MN, there's an argument over whether it's actually rude to swear aggressively in a train carriage and to make jokes about someone's suicide, or just a bit of a laugh. For groups of men.

Shamelessly bookmarking...I really want an update!

If you fall out with someone after one date then please just back off entirely.
Why would you put a card though his door a week later?
It's quite extreme OP.
Just let him know you didn't send him any book and then block him.