To dob these men into their work?

[Stickywhitelovepiss]

Not a pearl clutcher in general, but am in two minds on this one...

Yesterday on the (very crammed) train home there were a group of about a dozen blokes essentially effing and blinding and cunting at top volume all the way home, just generally being very vocally laddish and objectionable. Including having a great old joke at the "jumper" who had caused the problems the line that evening.

My little cousin was with me, but I still chickened out in contronting them and as per usual did the very British thing of seething impotently instead.

They were all in their company polo shirts.

Part of me really wants to contact their company and let them know about it. Part of me thinks I'm sounding like a grumpy old women before my time.

Looking to Mumsnetters to give my head a wobble either way on this!

The difference being your livelihood is not in jeopardy because of some busy body.

And the person running the small business that employs them? These idiots are risking that person’s livelihood, their own employment and the employment of others while behaving this way while wearing work uniform. This is not complicated.

Are some of the women here saying they would actually approach a group of men like this and ask them to stop? Not a chance in hell, and it’s not OP’s responsibility to tell them to stop.

You don't need to approach them.
I've done it.

'Excuse me I've got a kid here could you please not swear'

OP I would call the company, not necessarily to complain, but give a heads up that some of their employees are (possibly) not coming across well whilst wearing the company uniform/logo. They may not care at all, but they may also be completely unaware and might like the feedback 🤷🏻‍♀️

These posts really irritate me. You were shocked enough to feel the need to write a post on here instead of being adult enough to ask them to stop when it was actually happening. Be an adult and handle the situation. Get a grip.

I don't know, I'm not sure I would. People would be quick to ring up a school and complain if it was kids in uniform though, so I wonder why different as adults.

I would complain OP. I hate constant loud swearing. If I owned that company I'd want to know that employees were behaving like that in public wearing work clothing that identified my company. Don't just ring and complain. Look up the owner at Companies House and go straight to the top.

And the person running the small business that employs them? These idiots are risking that person’s livelihood, their own employment and the employment of others while behaving this way while wearing work uniform.

Assuming this is London I reckon they can take the hit for half a dozen people in a city of 8 million.

Bad word of mouth for any small business is a disaster, it’s not just the people on the train but the people they tell about it - why should the business owner have to suffer potential lost business because they have to act like twats? OP could easily have posted the name of the company here, then it wouldn’t be a half dozen people would it?

And again, the risk of them being reported to their employer could be completely avoided by wearing a jumper or changing their clothes. This is the issue here. Their employer should at least have the opportunity to tell their staff to stop behaving in a way that could damage their business while wearing work uniform.

Also, people telling the OP to grow up are ridiculous

1. Do you think that asking a group of rowdy men to stop swearing and shouting is always a safe or smart thing to do?

2. If they’re concerned about their livelihoods they should stop acting so badly while representing their employer. They are adults and should know that this sort of behaviour is risky.

I reported a guy for driving whilst on his mobile phone in his work company van. His boss wasn't pleased at all, would love to have seen what happened when he got back to base. Not acceptable!
This I'm not sure I would say anything unless it was directed at me or racist/homophobic etc

Be an adult and handle the situation. Get a grip.

😂 Why is it down to the OP to handle the situation? I'm guessing not very many people on that train would have been thrilled about listening to the piss being taken out of a suicide victim. No one else did anything at the time, I wonder why 🤔
People on here can be fucking idiotic sometimes.

No, I wouldn't challenge them myself

I'd report them to their employer.
No hesitation
Many employers have a code of conduct in their employment conditions and will take action

I've never bought into this idea of "don't be a grass"
That idea originally came from areas where crime gangs or IRA / Unionist / other terrorists want to rule the roost
I wouldn't challenge a gang member or an IRA thug myself, just inform on him

I think you need to get a grip quite frankly, OP. Life is difficult enough without having permanently offended goodie two-shoes like you spying on people and reporting their activities in their own private time to employers.

Life is too short to tolerate grown men behaving like abusive arses.
In company uniform they are representing the company. If the company are happy with how they are being represented in public they aren't going to say anything.
On the other hand if the company think swearing non stop and laughing about suicide isn't how they want their company represented they can tell their workers so.

Well I would want to know if any of my staff, male or female, were behaving in such a way in uniform. It gives a terrible impression of my business that I employ such people.

Make a complaint.

If only because they know that when they behave like that they will probably get away with it because they are intimidating.

I wonder if they go home to their wife and kids and say "you'll never guess what some fucking stupid cunt did today?
Hahaha...
"The prick only fucking jumped, the silly bastard"
Hahaha...

No. Thought not.

I think you need to get a grip quite frankly, OP. Life is difficult enough without having permanently offended goodie two-shoes like you spying on people and reporting their activities in their own private time to employers.

Well to paraphrase the late great Sir Terry Pratchett..... it's hardly spying if you have to stand back to avoid being deafened.

I hardly think that being intimidated and annoyed by very very sweary men on a train is being a "goody two shoes". Perhaps you're one of the people I have barred from my pub for upsetting my decent customers.

Absolutely report them, while in uniform they are representing their company. Children are taught this about their school uniforms from a young age.

Surprised at the number of people who think full volume effing and blinding and sniggering about suicide, for a whole train journey, in front of a captive audience including children is just "banter" or "the craic".

I admire anyone who would stick their head above the parapet and confront them, but I wouldn't do it.

Reporting to the company is a good thing to do. Almost every company has some version of "Impressed? Tell your friends. Not impressed? Tell us"
If the men happened to include the boss and the company culture was such that they would have a right old laugh at your email- it's no skin off your nose if they want to ignore behaviour that could lose them business.
If they herd the whole company onto the shop floor and sharply remind them of their responsibilities- good; at worst it does nothing, at best it modifies the behaviour of most of them in future, making society for all of us a little bit nicer.

All the people worried that these charmers will lose their jobs and have to sell their children into prostitution due to OP being a "snitch"- give me strength. With no names, video or audio, nobody is going to get the sack. Just a reminder to behave like civilised human beings.

I have to say I find it really disappointing that some people are so desperate to spy on and people and report to their employers for having a laugh in their own private time. Says a lot about our society now.

I certainly hope you've never made an inappropriate comment in public or posted anything controversial on social media, OP! I hope these men trawl through your facebook and twitter looking for comments to report to your employer!

Spying 🕵️‍♂️ would be over doing it, having stuff shouted at loud volume while you are stuck on a crowded train probably doesn't require advanced spying techniques though.

I am really amazed at some of the responses here. I run a small company and would absolutely want to know if my liveried employees were acting like that. At induction there is a long and very clear discussion of behaviour in public and it is written into their contract. Of course they won’t lose their jobs, but company should know.
And to those who say OP should have confronted them - no way in hell!A lone woman with a child confronting loud and sweaty men! I think not.
Report to their company ASAP

Spying?! 😂 I’m sure OP and the rest of the passengers would have loved to have been left in peace for the journey without a bunch of men yelling expletives and mocking a tragic fatality.

It’s interesting that people think the OP should have stepped in but the men themselves had no responsibility to have a word with each other. In a reasonably large group, it’s very unlikely that every single one of them thought that acting like this was okay, but clearly those who weren’t fully on board didn’t have the nerve to say anything.

I refuse to accept that a woman with a child in tow would ever be stupid enough to confront a group of men in this situation, but maybe that’s based on individual life experience. Are there really women who don’t find a large group of men behaving like this intimidating at least, if not outright threatening? Aside from seeing so much (mostly alcohol-fuelled) violence in my life, I’ve also been followed by a man yelling abuse and threats at me because I smiled and said “no thank you” when he offered me some of his beer as I walked past him. People acting like this are generally drunk to some degree, and you wouldn’t get me confronting drunk strangers for any reason unless someone was literally being assaulted (I did that once and ended up with a few broken ribs and a broken collar bone, but I would do it again).

Yes, OP is an adult, as were they.

She can decide what she does or doesn’t do, which includes:

• asking them to stop, drawing attention to herself and potentially putting herself and the child with her in danger
• informing the company or not

The group were also adults, and they also had choices:

• remove their uniform or put something over it before acting like complete wankers
• stop their competitive masculinity bullshit
• remember that how you act in private and how you act in public are different things
• notice that there was at least one child present and tell their most vocal mates to tone it down

There’s only two people here who don’t have any choices: the child, and the small business owner who employs them. The latter will only have choices if they’re made aware. People banging on about their livelihoods seem to forget that these men had no problem risking their boss’ livelihood and the employment of a number of people. You bet they should be made aware of it.

They weren’t at a house party or even in a pub. They were on public transport! I can’t believe how many people are defending them. Maybe they’ve never been in a similar situation and can’t picture how awful it is in reality, or maybe they act like this themselves, who knows.

How can people say it's got nothing to do with their employer? They're representing them!

There seems to be a opinion on MN that work and home are completely separate and the minute you clock off you can do what you like and it's nothing to do with work. Utter BS.

Yes I would report them. It's intimidating and unpleasant for other passengers and as for joking about a jumper that's disgraceful. I would want to hear about it if it was someone who worked for me as it isn't the image we want to portray at all. Of course the boss may have been there or may be as bad themselves so they may not care but still.

@CloudyForest it wasn't their own private time. They were in public.