Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many of you got engaged after 5+ years?

171 replies

StrawberriesAndVanilla · 15/05/2019 13:08

Was chatting with a friend the other day about her upcoming wedding anniversary, and ended up talking about how her and her DH got engaged after just over 5 years of being together.

It got me wondering how common waiting 5 years (or more) is for an engagement?
I remember when I was a kid, I used to think couples become engaged, married, bought a house and had a kid on the way all within 5 years!

I see some old friends on my Facebook getting engaged within 18 months - 2 years of being with their partners, and question whether they're jumping the gun, or if 2 years is a more appropriate time to wait as opposed to 5?

I've been with DP coming up to 5 years this year, and we're blissfully happy, talk about a wedding and marriage on an almost weekly basis (not always instigated by me, I might add), but no sign of a proposal yet. I half feel like it's going to be happening soon, half wonder if it's ever going to happen!

So, how long did your DH's/DP's take to drop one on knee?

OP posts:
SundaeMorning · 15/05/2019 18:24

Engaged after 21 Blush years, married soon after Grin.

QRCode · 15/05/2019 18:26

Met in Nov 2010, bought a house and moved in together August 2012, I proposed on 29 Feb 2016 and we married on 2 June 2016. In 2018 we sold the house and emigrated! We are both in our 50s now.

xyzandabc · 15/05/2019 18:29

We were together 7 years before getting engaged then married a year later but we were only 19 when we got together so engaged/married at 26/27.

Friends that got together later, tend to do the engagement/marriage thing much quicker.

outvoid · 15/05/2019 18:30

I know a couple who were together for 25 years before they got married. They had two adult DC’s by that stage and just decided to elope to Florida one day, didn’t even inform their family.

Friends of mine were together for eight years before they married and again, had two DC together already. They just decided to do it for legal/financial reasons.

SheChoseDown · 15/05/2019 18:33

It's been 12 years.... I was promised a marriage. Still no engagement even though!

happymummy12345 · 15/05/2019 18:36

We were trying for a baby after 2 months together. We got engaged when we'd been together 8 months, and got married the date we'd been together for 11 months (3 month engagement).
So within less than a year of being together we were expecting a baby and married.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 15/05/2019 18:40

Us! Met in 2007 engaged in 2013 bought house 2013 married 2015 sold and bought next house 2016 sold and bought next house 2019! Still working on the baby part! 😂

Smilingthroughtears · 15/05/2019 18:47

3 year engagement here

spannerintheneck · 15/05/2019 18:54

Been together 11 years, bought a house and have a child together and hopefully another on the way, still not engaged! Those things have been a higher priority for us. Hopefully we will do one day

MsAwesomeDragon · 15/05/2019 18:59

We'd been together 8 years before getting engaged. There wasn't really a big proposal though, just a question, at home, once the kids were in bed after a nice family day. No engagement ring, although I've got one now that I had made for myself because it was a good excuse to get DH to buy me a nice ring.

Leighhalfpennysthigh · 15/05/2019 19:08

Met my husband at 18 at freshers week party. Engaged after 6 months at 19 and married at 21. We had 20 years before he died.

Have been with new chap 6 months. Got engaged last week Smile and we'll marry when his divorce is finalised (separated 10 y so will be straightforward). We're also not planning on living together!

dreichuplands · 15/05/2019 19:17

10 years for us, we had bought a house but I wanted to be married before dc.

WildFlower2019 · 15/05/2019 20:00

8 years here.

For the first 3-4 years we didn't have that much money, him doing a PHD and then working in temporary contracts.

At the time, i would have liked him to propose a few years earlier ... around the 6/7 year mark or on my 30th birthday for instance.

I am not sure why he waited so long.... I didn't want to ask or bring it up because I wasn't THAT bothered..... but now we're married and I'm pregnant, it doesn't bother me at all.

Yellowpolkadot · 15/05/2019 20:06

15 when we met, 26 when we got engaged, 27 married, 28 baby. We never saw the point of getting married until we were looking at having kids. We bought a house together at 22, that seemed huge!

Sugarhouse · 15/05/2019 20:10

We were together 8 years before he proposed. We then both decided we wanted the wedding as soon as possible so got married 5 months later everyone thought I was pregnant Grin as most people we know planned weddings in a year or more. I don’t know why it took him so long to propose but once he did he couldn’t wait to get married

Merryoldgoat · 15/05/2019 20:15

5 years before engaged, married a year later.

I would say though that we established from early on that we wanted to get married and have children (in the first 3/4 months) and talked about timeframes.

We’d have got married in 2009 but the housing market crash allowed us to buy a flat instead which seemed a much better use of the money.

thisisthetime · 15/05/2019 20:16

5 years here. Married another 7 after that!! Lived together less than a year into relationship though!

Ragwort · 15/05/2019 20:17

We were dating for about a year before we got engaged (no bended knee or anything like that Grin), then we bought a house together and got married at the same time about 10 months later. I was 30, DH late 20s I had been married before ..didn’t have a D.C. for another 12 years Grin - by choice.

Yorkshiredolls · 15/05/2019 20:20

met in 2008. almost 8 years until we got engaged christmas 2015. we moved in within the first year but we met in our early twenties and had a lot of fun travelling then bought a house. just wasn’t really a priority and none of our friends had met their prospective spouses yet so no peer pressure. we got married 2 weeks after our 10th anniversary together. between getting engaged and getting married we had DD. Love finally being married. wasn’t truly a spontaneous proposal as we discussed marriage a lot in the year leading upto it and decided we deffo wanted to, but he wanted his proposal moment though and i had to wait that out which was verrrrrry frustrating!

Whatafustercluck · 15/05/2019 20:20

6 years together, married a year later. Ds arrived a year after that and dd another 6 years after that! We've been married for 10 years in June, together for 17. We also lived together less than a year after getting together.

ArtisanPopcorn · 15/05/2019 20:23

He proposed on our 5 year anniversary. We were fairly young when we met though, would have felt a bit silly getting engaged much earlier than that.

donquixotedelamancha · 15/05/2019 20:28

I think we waited 5 years. I wasn't ready.

Sammy867 · 15/05/2019 20:30

We started dating in school aged 16. We got engaged aged 24, married aged 26 and had our DD aged 28. (There’s exactly 3 months between us)

jb1305uk · 15/05/2019 20:32

Engaged at 18 months.
Married 8 months later and bought a house.
Had a child after 3 years married.
Been married 6 years now.

Level75 · 15/05/2019 20:37

We were together 11 years. I wasn't that fussed but decided one day it might be a good idea so I asked him.

Took us another 5 years to get around to it.

Been together 24 years now and we celebrate that anniversary rather than our wedding anniversary.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.