Advise me oh wise ones, holiday woes, not sure who's cheeky (is it us?)

[RebeccaWrongDaily]

My sister has a holiday home overseas.She offered it to us for no charge (they use ours regularly) for ten days at the end of May beginning of June.
We have booked flights.
Chatting to her earlier this evening, she's said to me that some friends of hers (who I also know well, well enough to attend their wedding) are going to come over for a week while we're there.
This couple are going through severe marital woes, one has had an affair, the other is throwing themselves into the bottle.
They also have very small children (two toddlers) Neither parent is particularly attentive at the best of times. My DH has a tendency to be a helicopter parent. The villa has a pool without a fence. My children are pre-teen and 9.
I have clear visions of us spending the middle week listening to the parents bicker / have make up sex whilst we collectively stop their children from drowning and pick up the slack of early mornings etc.
Would you still go? Would you book somewhere else? Would you challenge your sister?
We stand to lose about 2k if we just don't go, and then would want to book elsewhere by the way which would be an additional cost. Are we cheeky fuckers for expecting sole use of the house?

I mean, it could be fun!

I book a villa within distance of the airport and not stay at your sisters holiday home.

And if she ask why just tell her that you are going on holiday and not to either marriage counselors or mediators for her friends while they are going marriage problems. Because lets face it that's what will happen, not to mention the atmosphere between them.

Not my idea of a happy holiday.

Go on Homeaway/Airbnb now - you should be able to find a good deal for a last minute booking. Or book a hotel.

Then either invite some random to stay when your sister next takes a week at your house, or just don’t offer it to her again.

First of all I would challenge your sister - tell her what you’ve told us, that you think it will be awkward and that you were looking forward to a family holiday not refereeing a warring couple or babysitting their kids. Tell her you’d never dream of unilaterally inviting another family to join them for a holiday in your holiday home - it’s not really on and especially presenting it as a done deal when you’ve already booked your flights. Then I would get on booking.com or similar and see what last minute deal you can find within striking distance for the week they are there. It might actually be fun - maybe you could overlap a couple of days with them to keep the cost down. And next time she wants to borrow your holiday home I’d be very awkward about it and I certainly wouldn’t be making any plans to use hers again.

Unless it’s a sprawling pile with 4 different wings, your sister is really taking the piss.

I would be looking for alternative accommodation. It doesn’t matter whether it would bother your sister, she should have asked you if it was ok.

You could send a message saying ‘ha ha! You nearly fooled me, a holiday with x & y wouldn’t be a holiday at all! Thanks again for lending us the house, we are really looking forward to some family time. X’

Agree with others. I’d be livid.
What a shitty thing to do.

I’d book alternate accommodation for when they are there and is tell your sister exactly why you are doing it.
I’d also knock the holiday home sharing on the head (Although I’d be tempted to but never actually do this let her go once more and send the alcoholic breakdown couple there for a holiday on the same dates to see how she likes it)

Hi Sister...Nope ..not having it...me and fred are either using the villa on our own or you are going to have to reemburse us and fast....not sharing it with joe and susan no way ...we would never do this to you so whats it going to be? ...put her on the spot but there would be no way I would go either...its a terrible thing she has done to you ..you and your DH are not being unreasonable at all....

I am furious on your behalf! No way should you still go. Keep the flights and stay somewhere else. The CFery of it all!

That's really off of her. You will have to make a fuss to get her to understand. Make it clear this will be a problem. And yes, no more stays at your place for her.

Well, I'd couldn't share with people I know never mind people I don't know or like.

I'd have to arrange alternative accommodation, tell your sister this is what you're going to do and do it if she doesn't stop the other couple going asap book something new. Good luck.

YANBU that's ridiculous.

I'd still go though having paid for the flights. Nab the best (en-suite) rooms even for the kids and then book a few days in a nearby city or somewhere for a "change of scenery".

Chances are they'll be really relaxed and you'll have a fantastic time with them anyway but it's really not the point.

Don't look after their kids. No way. You can just return the kid to them and say sorry, I can't watch him, I'm reading/snoozing etc.

And as you're the first to arrive they'll be expecting you'll have stocked up! Be sure to get sister to tell them they need to supply their own food and drink

Point her to the thread on here re children and pools without fences...

I wouldn't worry about hurting your DSiss feelings and make up excuses. This is rubbish and inexcusable. How much would it cost to rent another place in the area - if it's out of main season may only be a few hundred and well worth it not to have to stay with other people.

It sounds like OP can afford to pay for alternative accommodation (she owns a holiday home).

I think that's terrible of your sister. The friends have preschool children, they should have chosen one of 51 other weeks of the year.
No way would I share my holiday with them. If there's no other option then I'd book alternative accommodation and seriously reconsider the holiday home sharing arrangements in future.

I'd be furious. All you can really do is book somewhere else and tell her how angry you are that she's put you to so much additional cost when you'd been kind enough to let her stay at your property (which you won't in future).

I'd explain to her that after talking to your DH you're considering booking somewhere else as you hadn't anticipated sharing and really would rather choose who you holiday with. But explain you're grateful for her offer to try and keep things amiable.

No, we won’t take a holiday with them. I’m not going to be anywhere nearby small children and an unfenced pool, before even considering the other aspects. We’d need a holiday to recover. Disappointed you think this is ok, we have never done this to you. We can’t change the flights so we have found other accommodation.

how much would it cost for alternative accommodation for the middle week?

If you go then tell your sister to inform her friends beforehand that neither you or dh will be looking after or watching their kids and that you are sharing accommodation only,no iffs no buts.Cheeky mare.

" Are we cheeky fuckers for expecting sole use of the house?"

Possibly, although I think she should have asked you first.

Do the others know that you will be there?

Would it be better to speak to the than your sister?

Is it possible to change your dates? Let’s them stay and then you move in as they go home?

Contact your Dsis, explain that expecting you to share is ridiculous and that you will book alternative accommodation for 3 of the nights and the other family need to do the same.

Why should you have to pay for a week's stay somewhere else, it should be 50/50 with the other family.

Next time your sister uses your holiday home, I hope she arrives to find your mil already installed for a week of sharing