People who are ALWAYS a BIT late

[AliceRR]

Somewhat lighthearted but interested in others’ views.

Not thinking of the friends who regularly make plans and cancel or make it clear they double book or drop you if something better comes along... the ones who rarely cancel but are always late (10-15 mins or more).

I’m waiting for a friend in a restaurant. I arrived about 15 mins early as I timed trains to be early rather than late. We were due to meet 15 mins ago and she isn’t here yet. She texted me to ask me to text her the drinks menu (I texted 20 mins ago offering to order her a drink). I said she may as well look at the menu when she gets here as waiting staff have been over three times.

It won’t ruin our evening but I find it mildly annoying.

I could have an extra 20 mins at home and got a train that would get me in bang on 6pm but didn’t in case I was late.

I just can’t think of a time when she’s arrived somewhere first (and I’m not an overly early person)

Does this kind of thing annoy you?

Why did you arrive so early when you knew she’d be late? Just asking for disappointment really

I have a mate like this and it drives me batshit! I am however someone who hates being late and will ALWAYS arrive early.

I take her ds into school with my dc as they are in the same class. I also work from home with travel, so on several occasions, when I’ve told her she needs to drop ds off at 8.30 at mine, if she’s late I leave so I’m not there when she arrives she’s cool with that tho and knows the score.

It massively annoys me.

I decide if I can tolerate it because they make up for it in other ways. Or drop them.

They're arrogant, inconsiderate bastards. All you can do is turn up similarly late. Tell them to meet you at 5:30, don't bother getting there until 5:45.

I’m sure this exact scenario was posted a little while back. Still, it’s not uncommon for people who are always a bit late. There is no such thing as lateness, only poor discipline. From someone who tends to be a bit late.

Unfortunately I think I am one of these people because I am always sorting out a last min DC “emergency” so I can understand.... but I think before I wouldn’t.

I’m always very conscious of getting to work early or if I have the opportunity to get somewhere earlier I would, like you I would get the earlier train

I keep my kindle in my handbag so would order a drink and sit and read until they get there. It’s no biggie.

I work with a lady who is always 6 minutes late and absolutely refuses to acknowledge that maybe she ought to leave ten minutes earlier, because she “shouldn’t have to”. She is utterly incapable of being on time, and I have no idea why.

I know one person like this, who is otherwise very close to my heart.

It took quite an upset and explosive explanation of ‘when you don’t turn up on time you are clearly telling me that your time is worth more than mine is’ to fix it.
Now I get a text around 30 minutes before telling me when they are likely to arrive, and if I am travelling a long way they let me know earlier. They also offer to book every restaurant now which helps with the planning.

It is a terrible character trait that some people have, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you. I think some people are just blind to their own selfishness.

Do you know how many people suffer from dyspraxia and genuinely cannot help getting muddled like this?

I can't judge time at all and will aim to be early, it was so bad in my teens that I'd get places hours early and wait around.

It drives me wild. There’s a few staff at work who always arrive a couple of minutes late - ours is the type of job where it most definitely isn’t flexible working. Being late, even slightly, does have an impact. I’d rather people were occasionally “properly” late as the couple of minutes most days is just so bloody disrespectful.

There’s a mum at the school who’s ALWAYS late. She drags her poor DD up the road yelling at her to run faster. It’s horrible. They literally live a 10 minute walk from the school so no traffic etc and yet I’ve never once seen her arrive on time in 5 years. Awful stressful way to start the day.

In my experience it seems to be the people who live closest to the place they’re meant to be are the worst.

@KissUntilTheyDieOfRabies

I am sure many more people who behave like this are not dispraxic than are.

DPiL (now long gone) were like this or sometimes worse. Their absolute worst was when they were many hours late. Their excuse was that the son of an old NDN had called round, they got talking blah blah blah. No phone call, no nothing.

The problem was that in the moment that visitor was more important than visiting us as arranged.

A friend of mine is like this. Always 10-15 minutes late. She has a toddler (as do I) and it's always something like the toddler needed a nappy change, wanted a snack, had a tantrum just as they were getting in the car.
I know toddlers can be like this sometimes but every time?? And if it truly is every time then build in a buffer!
This lady is a teacher so she must be able to be organised and on time when it suits her.

I have dyspraxia and manage to leave on time...

Only selfish people are always late

I have dyspraxia too - I am always 5mins early. A lot of people make excuses for bad behaviour but the point is that there are strategies available to help everyone get more organised. And with a mobile phone at your fingertips even dyspraxia / dyslexia / ADD aren’t the limiting conditions they once were.

Purely selfish, I know a few people like this and although they have some good points they are all selfish in other areas too.

Well in your situation ,I'd have got the train.that got me in at 6pm so would probably have been a few minutes late myself, particularly if I knew my friend was always late.

Some people think their time is more valuable than other people's.

My brother is like this - always at least 30 mins late. It drives me batty. Once he was 2 hours late ! He was apologetic, but there was no real reason given. And it wasn’t like I was sitting at home, we were meeting in a town centre half way between our two houses.

I have to say in the situation you mentioned I'd have messaged beforehand saying 'the train gets in at 6, so it'll be about 5 past when I get there' - or even what time will you be there I can get a train to get in at 5.45 or 6

Because if someone did that to me, I'd adjust the time I'd get there - so if I knew they'd be early I'd be early, or wouldn't rush to get there by 6, knowing a minute or so was fine

I'm always late these days
I was pathologically early before I had kids, but now I am on average 5 minutes late per child
I feel like I should carry around a lovely illustrative graph in a folder or something! There is evidence of causation not just correlation.

My sister is like this. It drives the rest of us (pathologically earlitons) batshit crazy.

Funnily enough, if I'm running the show, they're on time or early. We can't work out why! I'm not that fearsome.

Late people are selfish and think their time is more important than others. The excuses drive me batshit. I bet all these people perpetually late to social events manage to get to work on time!

I hate people being late. My Sil was an hour late the other day.

I get she finds it tough getting out the house on time with her 6month old but I managed on time with two kids and an hour was taking the piss