People who are ALWAYS a BIT late

[AliceRR]

Somewhat lighthearted but interested in others’ views.

Not thinking of the friends who regularly make plans and cancel or make it clear they double book or drop you if something better comes along... the ones who rarely cancel but are always late (10-15 mins or more).

I’m waiting for a friend in a restaurant. I arrived about 15 mins early as I timed trains to be early rather than late. We were due to meet 15 mins ago and she isn’t here yet. She texted me to ask me to text her the drinks menu (I texted 20 mins ago offering to order her a drink). I said she may as well look at the menu when she gets here as waiting staff have been over three times.

It won’t ruin our evening but I find it mildly annoying.

I could have an extra 20 mins at home and got a train that would get me in bang on 6pm but didn’t in case I was late.

I just can’t think of a time when she’s arrived somewhere first (and I’m not an overly early person)

Does this kind of thing annoy you?

I'm like this 5-10 mins late to everything. PPs are right; it is selfish, and I feel terrible every time but I keep doing it. Part of my problem is being disorganised. So I'll plan my route to get there on time, then realise as I need to walk out the door that I can't find my keys / phone / whatever, and spend 5 minutes looking for it. The other part of my problem is that I have very low self confidence, although I suspect very few people know that. So I usually become paralysed by doubt over my outfit or hair or something at the last minute and then faff about trying to fix it.
I've tried planning to get there 10 minutes early, but I can't fool myself because I know we arranged to meet at 6, not at 5.50. Fortunately I have very patient friends (and the ones who aren't patient are also scatty and late-running!)

I've actually dropped friends (and boyfriends) due to this. Pre mobile days I was perpetually waiting at stations for someone and in those days you couldn't text to say 'tired of waiting, see you in x pub'. You just had to stand there until they arrived at the pre-agreed location. Now I won't stand for it. 10 mins max or you'd better have been in a car accident. And having kids is no excuse, you can work 15 min extra into planning for poos and panics. Also people who can't find their keys, wallets, phones - hooks by the door, tiles etc. No excuse. Gives me the rage.

This kind of thing really annoys me, as it's generally always the same people who are late, and they always have a similar excuse every single time..."traffic was bad" etc etc

It's fine if it's every now and then, but every single time? Then set off earlier!!

I can never decide if I'm being unreasonable, or if I'm justified in being annoyed.

I hate this. Once or twice is forgivable but people who regularly do this think their time is more important than yours.

Tbf I think my dazzling company is worth it though

Only joking. I'm always mortified for being late. I always try and leave earlier, plan better etc. But there's always some calamity. The days I get out on time I am so happy it makes the rest of the day better. And then it improves my day, my week, my month.

But mostly I feel like a hot sweaty unready mess who's bloody forgotten that thing Grr!

I get irrationally annoyed at the people on here who admit to being constantly late and punctuate the confession with embarrassed or cutesy emojis.

It’s not cute or clever. It shows you’re arrogant, rude and inconsiderate.

HTH.

I expect that those without a car are better timekeepers, as a few minutes later means a missed bus or train. I also think that as a flight is something with severe consequences if late, it adds to the average persons hatred or fear of flying.

I wish it could be recorded so good timekeeping could have rewards.

Yeah annoying but if you know she is late, why would you arrive early? Just be on time, or slightly after as you'll still be first

For me it really depends on how much I like the person. I have ended relationships and friendships for this. I do find it really rude, though I do of course make allowances for people who have stuff going on or young children etc

@ForalltheSaints. In my case that was definitely true. Before I bought a car and moved to town, I lived rurally and hour's bus journey from work. I was never late. Never.

Now I live 15 mins drive from work. Frequently just on time. On the rare occasion I need to take the bus, I'm always early.

What I don’t understand is people who are late every time for a regular appointment. Five minutes late every week, when it’s just started.

If you can het there five minutes late, why can’t you get there five minutes early?

I have 1 friend that is like this. There was a group of us going into town once meeting at another persons house that I'd never met, i was invited along with a load of work friends basically and she was picking a few people up along the way. I turn up and was the only one there!! She kept me waiting about 40 minutes before she arrived. She did the same once when 4 of us went to lunch, one friend being pregnant and starving. We ordered and she arrived as we were eating our mains. I don't bother with her anymore.

It is true that the people closest are the people who tend to be consistently late.

I worked in an office where there was a block of flats about 200m away. I lived a 30-40 minute commute away. Every morning I would be sat at my desk and see the flat dwellers come straggling in late with a cup of tea in one hand and a slice of toast in the other.

I think their thought process was that as they lived close it would take no time to get to work. So plenty of time to put the kettle and toaster on. No time at all to make breakfast, put on shoes, find keys, lock the front door, walk down stairs, walk down the drive to the office. Genuine surprise that they were late every single morning!

@whywhywhy6

I'm sorry I didn't realise that the emoticons belonged to the early bird as well as the damned worm
Will be more mindful of your sensibilities in future

HTH

It is disrespectful and selfish to be late with the exception of genuinely unforeseeable event like flat tyre or similar. Obviously then you contact the waiting person asap.
As adults pretty much everyone is capable of managing their time effectively it just depends whether they (subconsciously or not) feel you are worth getting organised for.
Every where I've worked there has always been one diva who feels entitled to stroll in 15 minutes late without a care in the world and they were never the one who worked the hardest when they finally started either.

I'm like this sorry!
I don't believe I'm selfish I genuinely am sorry but I don't learn from my mistakes. I just generally underestimate how long it takes me to do things/find things/get out of the house/drive somewhere
I'm on time more if I'm walking as I allow extra
if it's mega important eg an appointment I am usually at least half an hour early to overcompensate

I'm one of these people. However, I have a bowel condition which makes me nervous about leaving the house if there are no toilets about so I usually back and forth to the loo before I leave.

I’m like this too. This thread comes up at least a couple of times a month and always manages to make me feel awful. I have absolutely no sense of passing time, I have to fill every second of every day, planning to be early doesn’t work because I know that’s not really the time I need to be there so I have time to just throw that washload on - only then when there’s roadworks or a dirty nappy or I can’t find my keys I’ve already used my ‘buffer’ on the washing and I’m late. It’s hideous and stressful and makes me feel guilty and miserable. I do not think my time is more important than anyone else’s I just can not get it together.
Someone on a previous thread suggested an executive functioning disorder and it seems to fit. At least it means I can use some of the strategies aimed at people with ADD and I find they help a bit.
This is a lot of what goes on I’m my head at least www.verywellmind.com/time-management-tips-20409

DB and DSIL used to be absolutely terrible with this. They'd always get told a time to arrive at family events 45 minutes before everyone else. Weirdly, they are better now they have a child.

One of my friends is always late because she's a faffer and one of those people who always needs to "pop in" to places on the way. She does it if you're with her, too. Sometimes I deliberately arrange to meet her somewhere without faff-distractions because it drives me nuts.

To say all people who are often late are rude/arrogant etc. Is an ignorant generalisation.

I’m not consistently late, nor am I consistently early, somewhere in between I guess. I had one friend go absolutely crazy at me for being late twice in a row (by a few minutes) as I had very young twins at the time (they’re still young at 19 months but their routine is finally set after a lot of hard work 😂) she said I was selfish, I thought my time was more important than hers etc.

Thing is I was reliant on public transport and she knew this, a lot of the times we set to meet were to accommodate her and her one DD who is older than my twins. So getting onto a really busy bus or tram with a double buggy sometimes wasn’ possible and I had to wait for the next one. I always let her know in advance if I was running late too but it wasn’t good enough and she ended our very long friendship as a result. Sometimes the reasons given aren’t just excuses.

But for those who do it every single time I can certainly understand the frustration. But it doesn’t wind me up as much as others.

I'm always always late
I honestly factor in an hour - two hours more than anyone reasonably needs to get ready for stuff
I get up extra early for work
I've tried setting alarms to remind me when I need to be in the shower/ eating breakfast/getting dressed by etc. I'm always running somewhere sweaty and stressed.

I tell my friends I will 100% be late to whatever plans we have so if they'd like to get their later than we say and leave me waiting great, or if they wanna order food without me then go for it, or I always offer to buy an extra round by way of apology

I genuinely just feel like I have no grasp of time and how long things take. I also have OCD that can make getting out the house difficult. But no one else knows that.

*there

I have friends and relatives like this. Drives me batty. I’m an early sort of person.

My mum has never been an on time sort of person. As kids we were always late for school, late for appointments, late for things we’d planned with friends relatives. It was that bad sometimes we’d be that late we’d miss something completely. It was awful. I hated walking into school late in front of everyone.

she’s still like it now. If we organise something I know she’ll be at least an hour late!

I think perhaps why I find lateness so irritating is because I was that kid... the one being shouted at on the way to school because we were late, always the last one to arrive, always the last kid waiting to be collected after school, watching my mum run across the playground saying to the teacher “sorry, sorry, traffic was terrible, I got stuck at blah blah blah”, always some crappy excuse.

I remember arriving at birthday parties halfway through, one in particular and I recall hearing another parent talking about my mum, I remember being very young, maybe 4 or 5 and being turned away from a medical/ dentist type appointment because we were so late.

People who are always late irritate me to no end, but there is a special place in hell for people who are persistently late when taking over from nightshift staff. Sadly I have worked with many such people and they were all truly the height of unsympathetic, selfish twats. Worst were the ones who were late because they were too busy bitching about other people in the tea room talking to other staff to let the nightstaff do their handovers. Imo it really shows the true colours of people you work with when they think their need to gossip is more important than their exhausted colleague getting some sleep.