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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just lost it with my daughter 11

106 replies

MummyCool19 · 14/05/2019 08:55

So my Dd has been horrible lately, rude and just secretive.

My dds friends mum message me this morning to have a chat. I don’t really know her well. So I thought wtf, looked on dds phone and saw that she’s fell out with her. Dd has started leaving her out because of another friend. This other friend is horrible and a bully.

Anyway, I wanted Dd to go and apologise to get friend. She wouldn’t. She refused to leave the house. I started shouting that I did not raise a bully and she will get her arse round there and a apologise. She still refused to go. So I went round and asked her friend to come to her. She finally apologised but I was so angry! I tried dragging her out the house and now I feel so guilty 😩😩😩

Also, Iv been through her phone and on a WhatsApp group one of her friends put (discussing james Charles?!) “he’s gay so he likes to suck dick”!!!! Like wtf!!!! I’m fuming over that aswell. Dd didn’t reply to it but stil 😩

I feel so bad 😩😩 not so much shouting but the trying to drag her out the house by her arm! 😩😩😩

OP posts:
Namestheyareachangin · 16/05/2019 14:18

Where did the OP say she was screaming at her DD? You're making things up now to fit your own narrative.

"I started shouting that I did not raise a bully and she will get her arse round there and a apologise."

Shouting, screaming. Potato, potahto. Hardly 'making things up'.

Yeah, she tried to drag an 11yo so hard that she couldn't even get her out the door. Get a grip and stop exaggerating.

If my two year old doesn't want me to pick her up she can give me a pretty good fight. She's not three feet tall though so I usually win in the end. The fact she wasn't able to physically overpower her 11 year old doesn't make any difference to the fact she tried to do so.

goodfornothinggnome · 16/05/2019 14:51

Oh dear, 11 is s tricky age, and it sounds like DD is acting out- very much like my DD maybe 6-8 weeks ago (I posted about her slapping me around the face and trashing her bathroom)

I sympathise, and I'm not going to chastise you, because I'm sure you've had 5 pages of it already, but you must find a better way of dealing with her behaviour, no matter how badly she acts.

With a lot of stern conversations my DD has pulled her act together again
My regular go to, is if I cant trust you to behave appropriately, then you are obviously not mature enough to handle the responsibilities that go along with x,y or z that she enjoys.

It's a hard age, but please grab hold of the situation as best you can, because it will get worse if you dont.

HeckyPeck · 16/05/2019 14:59

I remember when my mum had the odd outburst, I would know "oh shit, I've gone too far, better listen up".

Same here!

HeckyPeck · 16/05/2019 15:01

If my two year old doesn't want me to pick her up she can give me a pretty good fight. She's not three feet tall though so I usually win in the end. The fact she wasn't able to physically overpower her 11 year old doesn't make any difference to the fact she tried to do so.

I’m not sure why your using you physically overpowering your two year old to prove that OP was in the wrong for failing to physically overpower her eleven year old?

Namestheyareachangin · 16/05/2019 15:47

@HeckyPeck

I’m not sure why your using you physically overpowering your two year old to prove that OP was in the wrong for failing to physically overpower her eleven year old?

Because my two year old doesn't have an appreciation of basic safety and sometimes needs picking up out of a busy road/removing from the top step she is keen to throw herself off of/steering away from a barbecue etc and isn't always terribly understanding of or co-operative with these oppressive attempts of mine to save her life Grin.

If I was trying to drag my 2 year old into the street in order to force her to apologise to another child for some perceived infraction of social niceties you might have half a point.

somecakefather · 16/05/2019 16:37

Where did the OP say she was screaming at her DD? You're making things up now to fit your own narrative

"I started shouting that I did not raise a bully and she will get her arse round there and a apologise."

That's not screaming, huge difference. Are you one of those people that's going to claim that you've never raised your voice to DC?

If my two year old doesn't want me to pick her up she can give me a pretty good fight. She's not three feet tall though so I usually win in the end. The fact she wasn't able to physically overpower her 11 year old doesn't make any difference to the fact she tried to do so

Are you also one of those people who have a toddler so therefore think you know about parenting every age?

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