To wonder if we make life hard for ourselves whilst parenting teenagers?

[malificent7]

Everyone goes on about how hard it is to parent teens. No doubt it is a time of upheaval for the child and that causes anxiety.
Aibu to feel that the reason why parenting teens is hard is the fact thsy it is hard to let go and accept transition to adulthood.

For example, as a teen i was fairly good.. i didnt do drugs, studied hard and didnt have sex till i was 16. My parents used to tie themselves in knots regarding my growing independance .
One major advsntage of having a teen i can think of is allowing them freedom to explore.
Dd is 10 btw.. am i being incredibly naieve?

Frankel you didn't sound smug to me

Mine are 15 & nearly 13. Both have had some horrific stuff to deal with the past few years.

DS especially - he had a life threatening illness last year, and it was hard to claw our way back to "normal" parenting after this, but necessary to reintroduce boundaries etc where we'd been extra lenient.

Bottom line is as much as they bitch about boundaries they are more comfortable with them. They do constantly get discussed, argued about and sometimes shifted if there's a good enough argument.

I fucking love teens. I was a hideous one - drugs, police trouble etc. So I've always been "bring it on". I suspect my younger DD will be hideous in a couple of years. Love the advice upthread about leaving them alone when they're angsty instead of pecking away to find out what's wrong. Nugget of wisdom, that.

Christ OP. I'm shocked at your naievity given your job.

My Ds1 has been very hard work.

I have found that those that work with children have the biggest shock. The way children behave outside the home is not the same as the way they behave at home. I remember a super smug children's Centre manager informing us all how we should be parenting, how we should have ditched the dummy /weaned not weaned/potty trained in a day..... She had a rude awakening.

Frankel there was nothing wrong with your post at all.
Ignore that silly person.

Agree Frankel9 you sound a very UN smug great mum.

Don't feel worried. Mine are still 6 and 3 so I have no experience but we all thought we were parenting our first child wrong when they were babies but we made do and they made it through. My advice is not to be clingy, let them go out, let them stay to control certain aspects of their love but if you suspect use of drugs or toxic relationships or whatever them ask. Don't let it pass.

Best post ever thank you x

I agree op. Parenting teens doesn't have to be and isnt always difficult or traumatic