Well, I'm going to get flamed for this but ... I live in Dubai. And while I'm not a huge fan personally, I don't think it deserves to be at the top of so many people's hate list!
To correct a few misconceptions:
- You can go about your day completely normally as a westerner here. You don't have to adjust your wardrobe unless you are dressing like Geri Spice circa 1997 (and even then, most people probably wouldn't bat an eyelid). You can kiss your kids and walk arm in arm with your husband. You can wear swimwear on the beach. Yes, it's a Muslim country so don't neck a beer on the street or have a snog outside a mosque! But otherwise it's fine. Don't forget it's 90% ex pat population and there are over 200 nationalities living in the UAE so it's a fairly tolerant place and becoming more so every year.
- In hotels and licensed restaurants/bars, you're perfectly fine having a drink on the beach or wherever you like. It's best not to get roaring drunk (which you probably can't afford anyway since alcohol is taxed heavily) but otherwise there's no real difference to being in a hotel in Singapore or Bali or wherever. You can eat pork and buy it in supermarkets. The local Arabic food is delicious.
- You will not be hassled or stared at as a western woman. It's an extremely safe place. You won't even stand out - you're in the majority!
- Emirati women are in a MUCH better position than their neighbours in Saudi. They go to uni, they drive, they work, they can divorce (of course, it's frowned on culturally but it's possible). Most choose to wear an abaya and headscarf but it's not obligatory. I work with Emiratis as well as dozens of other nationalities and have female Emirati colleagues. They are educated, well travelled, confident and I don't think they'd recognise the caricatures of their country. They will join us for a meal out at a licensed restaurant though of course they don't drink for religious reasons. I'm not going to pretend that they have absolutely full equality with men but if you're going to judge Dubai for that then you need a hell of a lot more countries on your list besides. Also don't ignore that the UAE is a positive influence on the more backward countries around it.
As for shopping malls and luxury hotels, loads of cities have these! I don't see Singapore or Hong Kong or even London getting stuck for these. If you're talking about vulgar, Cancun or Vegas is infinitely worse in my opinion (I've been to both). There's no denying it's not a major cultural hotspot but it's there if you look.
Slave labour ... there's no denying there was a problem with indentured labour in the past but the UAE has majorly cleaned up its act. It's true people come here from poorer countries on 1-3 year contracts, cheap shares accommodation and (to us) low pay - but the laws have been toughened up, salaries are paid direct into bank accounts, AC must be provided etc. And if we're going to judge here, let's ask ourselves WHY those people choose to come here? I don't see the Philippines on many people's no list, despite the rampant prostitution, incredibly poor rural economy that drives people to come to places like Dubai in desperation so they can provide for their families. I don't see the U.K. offering them a better life as we decry immigration. I've met whole families who've come out here, in full knowledge of the conditions, because it's still better than staying at home.
Anyway ... it's a long rant but my point is I totally understand why some people don't want to come here (wouldn't be high on my wish list) but if you're going to decry it for reasons of shallowness, women's rights or labour laws, you should have a hell of a lot of other places higher on the list. It is really not as black as it's painted.