Teacher yanked DS

[bratzilla]

Picked DS up from the school office as he’s part of a small group getting extra help with phonics after school. I was the only parent in the office and stood less than 2m away from DS, he took a few steps and said “hello mu...” when she got him by the shoulders of his coat with both hands, pulled him back and said “don’t go until I say”. He was stood slightly in front of the other 5 so I approached him iyswim.

I don’t know if I’m being precious but I’m really annoyed about it.

Meant to add this isn’t DS’s usual teacher, who is lovely!

Doesn't sound that big a deal to me from what you've written.

I would direct my kids by putting hands on shoulders- I would not see a problem with someone else doing so.

Presumably it was a bit more vigorous than ideal (or are you saying she must never touch your child?) or you would not be bothered but it doesn't sound worth making a fuss over.

Was he yanked back or she stopped him going?

There is a difference and one I'd say is totally unacceptable and one is fine.

You mean as in pulled him back so forcefully his head lolled forward?
That's yanking to me.
If he was just pulled back gently, she was only making sure your child was safe.

Only someone who saw this can say if YABU. A forceful yank by a teacher who was taking her frustrations out on your DS is not OK. A little grab to enforce the message that he should not be walking away without permission is Ok.

Unless your ds's head lolled, YABU and precious.

Hmmm, I think as you describe would be ok, but I wouldn't be delighted. Yanking would be rougher,to me. A teacher once grabbed my 9yo by the tie and yanked him forward to straighten a line. She was always screaming at them and pushing and shoving them. She was a music teacher and complete cow. She has left now, I heard she pulled a child's hair and there was a big row with parents.
My Dsis is a teacher and she says you put your hand on a child, you're in trouble, full stop.
But sounds like she was just making him wait?

Yanked back, or stopped from moving forward?

Presumbly if she is not the normal teacher, she might not be sure of which parent goes with which child, perhaps she didn't want your child heading off until she was sure?

You are being precious. She was preventing him from leaving withoit confirming an adult was there to collect him. She pulled the shoulders of his coat

She was always screaming at them and pushing and shoving them. She was a music teacher and complete cow. She has left now, I heard she pulled a child's hair and there was a big row with parents

If you heard these things from a reliable source why on earth didn't you report her?

She got his coat rather than your ds. I think this is acceptable as she was trying to keep your ds safe.

It was just us, 5 kids and the receptionist in the room and I’d walked to him, she knows I’m his mum so it’s not a safety issue. He walked forward and she pulled him back, yes his head/neck did move a bit and he stopped talking mid sentence.

OP she either yanked him or she stopped him walking, there's a huge difference and you're not really being very clear. I'd be happy the teacher made sure they didn't leave until they were happy someone was waiting.

For me, if it was bad I would have reacted/spoke up straight away.

The fact you didnt makes me think it cant have been too bad, but everyone is different maybe you were so shocked you didn't react.

To be honest I think you are being far too precious. In the UK you ARE allowed to touch a child if it is for their own safety. Perhaps the teacher should not have pulled his coat but please choose your battles.

Pinky I said in my OP he’d already taken a few steps, then in my second that she pulled him back as he was walking. She stopped him mid walk, although only after a few steps.

So many threads complaining about petty issues with teachers at the moment!

Yes, it's a safety issue that no child goes without the teacher saying so.
Yes, teachers are allowed to touch children.

If it was a yank then it warranted raising and challenging at the time.
If afterwards you're asking if it's out of order or not then the likelihood is that it's perfectly fine and there's nothing untoward.

I can't honestly believed she yanked him because had she have done you'd have addressed it at the time.

She put her hands on his shoulders to stop him leaving without her say so which is an important lesson that he needs to learn, that's all.

I’m really not seeing the problem here. And she hardly “yanked” him.

Whether or not the teacher knows you, your ds should have waited for her to tell him he could go.
It's standard safe-guarding.
If you don't agree with that, think about the scenario where you arrive at school and they have allowed your ds to leave with someone known to him, but you don't know anything about it.
What would you say then?

she knows I’m his mum so it’s not a safety issue

Well it sort of is if he’s not supposed to go until the teacher says. It’s not the sort of instruction you can allow kids to only bother to follow half the time. If he decides to ignore that instruction when it isn’t only you and 5 other children in the room then it might well be a safety issue.

It doesn’t really sound like it was a yank. More that she just pulled him towards her.

So she is trying to reinforce the “wait until I say before you go” message with the children. She put her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

None issues