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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher yanked DS

92 replies

bratzilla · 13/05/2019 19:33

Picked DS up from the school office as he’s part of a small group getting extra help with phonics after school. I was the only parent in the office and stood less than 2m away from DS, he took a few steps and said “hello mu...” when she got him by the shoulders of his coat with both hands, pulled him back and said “don’t go until I say”. He was stood slightly in front of the other 5 so I approached him iyswim.

I don’t know if I’m being precious but I’m really annoyed about it.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 14/05/2019 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TreadingThePrimrosePath · 14/05/2019 21:48

I’m a primary teacher, I don’t think it’s acceptable to grab a child forcefully, especially as the child wasn’t in danger. He’s 5 and saw his mum at the end of a long day, of course he moved towards her.

SandyY2K · 14/05/2019 21:50

It does not specify (and in fact makes it clear that headteachers are not allowed to specify) the total hours required to fulfil our professional duties

Indeed, as attending parents evenings, PTA, governor meetings and doing all other tasks to support pupils/educationwould exceed the actual hours a teacher is paid for.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/05/2019 21:53

I did hear you the first time. We are not paid for 1265 hours a year. We are paid to carry out all our professional duties, including 1265 directed hours.

The suggestion that anything above 1265 is unpaid overtime feeds into the school hours only misconception about teacher workload.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/05/2019 21:54

No, parents' evenings etc must in fact be included in the 1265 as they are directed hours.

ASauvignonADay · 14/05/2019 21:57

My Dsis is a teacher and she says you put your hand on a child, you're in trouble, full stop
This is a load of rubbish and absolutely not true

ASauvignonADay · 14/05/2019 22:02

Back to the actual op's question though - only you know what exactly happened and with what force. No one on MN can tell you that, and you're going to get a huge range of responses based on people's personal experiences or understanding. If you aren't happy with it, speak to the school. No one here can really tell you whether or not it is justified because we didn't see what happened.

bratzilla · 14/05/2019 22:07

FryTime I protected DS from domestic violence but I failed to say anything in this situation. I should’ve told her it made me uncomfortable.

I haven’t said he was hurt, that I’d be reporting her to the head or that I’d be taking it to ofsted. I haven’t changed the story either Hmm. Anyway, different teacher at pick up today and nobody had to be formally dismissed!

OP posts:
FireflyEden · 14/05/2019 22:44

@bratzilla oh behave fgs, pick your battles as this is not one.

Lizzie48 · 14/05/2019 23:08

I wouldn’t like this myself. There was no need for the teacher to yank this little boy back when he was only going towards his mum. With such a small group of children, she should surely have been able to use words to tell him he should wait until she said they had finished.

spursheaven · 14/05/2019 23:10

Any bruises, from being yanked?

asdou · 14/05/2019 23:10

Massive over exaggeration.

motherofadragon · 14/05/2019 23:14

I wouldn’t like a teacher touching my child and pulling them back, making their neck wobble. I don’t think you’re over exaggerating at all.

bratzilla · 15/05/2019 00:31

She pulled his coat, of course there aren’t any bruises.

OP posts:
MyYe · 15/05/2019 13:58

@FryTime

Don't you dare. I've been polite to you so far, happy to discuss points of view, but don't you bloody dare say I was "close to victim blaming territory". I wasn't suggesting anything of the sort in anyway, shape or form, in fact QUITE the opposite. Don't you bloody even dare insinuate that!!!

I know i said I wouldn't be replying again but I just have to say that getting angry won't change the fact that you've been talking out of your arse. In what way was anything you posted QUITE the opposite of victim blaming?

@grumpyyetgorgeous nope, I wasn't there. Which is why I'm taking what the OP has posted at face value and not going out of my way to deny her version of events for no good reason.

FryTime · 15/05/2019 15:51

@MyYe

Because I wasn't blaming the victim... For a start the "victim" in this is allegedly the small boy who was yanked / pulled or whatever. When did I say he was at fault? Also, if you are referring to the mention of DV, did you actually READ what I said?? I'll copy and paste it for you:
We are not talking about DV behind closed doors with a violent partner or husband where the OP could have made the matter worse, and I would totally understand keeping silent in those circumstances,but we are talking about a teacher at school!! .
Can you not comprehend that I said I would totally understand keeping silent in those circumstances..? i.e. I would not blame anyone who did not stand up in such circumstances. That is NOT victim blaming. That is UNDERSTANDING that it is not always easy or possible to stand up in every circumstance, but when it is a teacher at a school, that would be very different. For goodness sake, try reading what is typed rather than assuming. We all know what that does.

llangennith · 15/05/2019 18:41

I wouldn’t like a teacher touching my child and pulling them back, making their neck wobble. I don’t think you’re over exaggerating at all.

Same here. Horrible teacher. I'd have had a quiet word in her ear👿

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