DP dropped our baby

[DinosaurShoes]

I am absolutely fuming and feel very off about my DP's reaction and wanted some perspective.

We have an 18 week old. It's been a tough start to parenthood with DC having a lot of health problems but we are getting there. However, sleep hasn't really featured much in our lives lately.

At around half one this morning, baby was awake so DP got up to pick them up. He sort of half falls and drops DC. Queue DC screaming even more and me jumping up to pick up DC and check they were okay. DP just sits there, doesn't move to pick up DC or ask if they are okay.

I start to feed DC who settles once getting fed and then ask DP why the hell he didn't react. He says he was in shock. My response is that after 5 minutes he should at least have asked if DC was okay or said something but he hadn't and that it wouldn't matter how much shock I was in, I'd pick up DC straight away.

DP then got very shouty and just said "well I guess I'm just a shit dad then" and expected me to say otherwise and make him feel better. I refused as I was busy with DC so he got more shouty so I told him I'm not the one he should be angry with and he went back to sleep.

So, AIBU to be a bit worried about his lack of reaction? Honestly he didn't seem to care at all. There wasn't any sign of concern. It's like I'd told him I'd fed the cat, but actually he'd react more to that by saying something. I'm suddenly really concerned about his lack of care about DC.

I'm sure it was an accident, it's the lack of concern or care that's getting to me. It just feels so off and like he doesn't care about our DC. Thank you if you made it to the end. Sorry if this was rambling on, I'm a bit shocked still.

You are both very sleep deprived and stressed. Babies are wonderful, beautiful things but they sure do suck every ounce of strength and reason out of their mum and dad in their first few weeks of life. It's like being hit by a train. And who is there to be the target of your frustrations? It can't be the innocent baby so it has to be each other... A very special but also very trying time!

You all need some sleep. Crossing my fingers for you that manage to get some!

Both DH and I have been responsible for DS accidental falls. My immediate response is to check and cuddle DS and if all is ok then reassuring DH that these things happen. Because when it happens to you, all you can feel is the horror, and you just want to be reassured that your little one is ok.

My first fell over and broke his collar bone. When the doctor gave the results I did this weird polite smile it was so weird I must have looked crazy but as soon as I left the hospital I burst into tears. It was just shock and I felt like a failure. I could understand how he reacted

Beautiful baby op. My DH dropped our 6 month old (at the time) headfirst on the patio! He too was in shock and could barely tell me what happened, I was furious but she was totally fine.

DD fell down a full flight of stairs when she was about 8 months old. I remember being frozen at the top of the stairs looking down at her willing her to cry and then watching with relief when she screamed, running down to scoop her up wasn't immediate.

@Emu99 Yes I am aware of that Thankyou very much! He is NOT my partner! I immediately called police and had him arrested! I did nothing wrong whatsoever and had a mental breakdown after he did that to her so I really don't need a random stranger telling me 'how bad it was' thanks!!!!

@MummyParanoia101 if you don't want "a stranger"telling you how bad it was you probably shouldn't post something like that. Cause no ones going to tell you it's good. Glad to hear he isn't involved.

Aww OP, you both just sound understandably stressed and upset from exhaustion. It brings it back to me how frickin' awful sleep deprivation is with a bub. Understandable he was in shock but understandable too that you reacted as you did.

MummyParanoia101

Oh my God, that's terrible what your ex did. Of course it's not your fault. Did he ever say why he thought it was ok to do this?