To think entertaining kids is way easier outside the house?

[Teatimeted]

It's been lovely weather here since Friday afternoon so we've barely spent any time in the house - done a few parks, wildlife zoo type place, Gruffalo hunting (basically a walk in the woods) picnics etc...

On the phone to DM tonight who asks what we've been up to so tell her. I then get ten minutes of "you spoil him, kids have got to learn to entertain themselves, if he got used to playing with toys you wouldn't need a cleaner, what's the point in all his toys if you take him out all weekend, we never did that, you had to entertain yourself"

For info - DS is 2.5, me and DH both work full time (me four days) and we find it really hard to control him indoors. I love being able to take him
places and do fun things - and I won't lie, when I see him charging about outside, I feel relieved because I know he'll sleep well that night.

He just has boundless energy and can't/won't sit drawing or colouring or crafting.

AIBU to keep him outside (with us, engaging, not on our phones, not with one eye on the washing up) for as much time as possible? Or should I be trying to encourage him to enjoy 'quieter' and more 'independent' activities??

The gender stereotyping is strong on this thread I see. My girls are not the kind to sit playing meekly and quietly colouring in - they'll be rolling around on the floor and running around causing bedlam if they're stuck indoors for long.

They're at their best when we're at my mum's who has a huge garden with loads of tree-covered bits for building dens, space for a huge trampoline and swing, and loads of grass and hilly areas for running wild exploring things (she lives on a riverbank and has a huge garden). They will literally entertain themselves out there all day only reappearing for wees, drinks and periodic feeding. Sadly our own garden is bloody tiny but even then they're so much happier just choosing to go sit reading a book outside in the garden (we have one of those swingy chairs they love) than being indoors.

YANBU. DS is 4 and we never, ever have a day at home. Even when he has friends over, we march them to the playground - and not the one at the end of the road either, the one 2 miles away.

On non-work days I aim to be out of the house by 9:30am - if we're not doing anything else I'll take him for a 5 mile cycle around the reservoirs and over the marshes. Otherwise it's just CRASH! BANG! MUMMYMUMMYMUMMY! LOOK AT ME! CRASH! BASH! CAN I HAVE CAKE! on a loop. We are both calmer outside. His most similar friend is a girl, and she also gets up at 5am, which DS thank God does not, so I'm not sure it's a boy thing.

It always seems to be the mother's of girls who say that boys are not inherently more high energy and their daughters are very boisterous.

Well yeah formerbabe it’s mothers of girls that are dispelling your stereotypes about girls because it’s our lived reality. I think someone needs to counter the sexist ‘girls like to play quietly’ shit that gets spouted on here constantly. In the interests of balance I also think the all boys are like dogs is a load of bollocks as well

My DD always wanted to be our doing stuff and has never really played quietly by herself for long. Even at 9 she’s rather be outside playing on her scooter than inside on her tablet or similar.
It’s not a boy/girl thing some children are just better suited to quiet time and concentration than others.

Mousethedog. Because of my job I have met and got to know a few hundred 3 year olds. GENERALLY, the boys are far more energetic and boisterous than the girls, and the girls much calmer, more likely to listen to instructions and happier to play quiet games, not always of course.

This thread is something else.

You should do whatever suits you and your family. I am not outdoorsy at all, and I am quite lazy so we are in more that out. But my DC have always been good at entertaining themselves, and they played out with their friends once old enough. There is no right way imo, only the right way for you.

All day colouring and playing with dolls, then out like a light for 12 hours

I’m thinking more of older girls!

Both mine (one DS and one DD) are like overexcited labradors if they aren't taken outside to roam free for at least half an hour every day.

Time never moves slower than when you're counting down to dinner time and it's raining and they haven't been able to get out!

Never mind the kids I’m a lot happier outside 😂. You have to stay in most of winter when it’s raining and cold so get out whilst you can.

My daughters both like to sit quietly and work on their accomplishments.

This thread is unbelievable.

A) this thread is living proof girls tend to be socialised into nice quiet compliant behaviour because that is apparently what is expected from them

B) confirmation bias is a thing. You believe boys are more boisterous therefore you notice that, and don't notice girls behaving in the same way.

My DD was full of energy and so hard to entertain in the house, so we were always out. My DS was far more chilled, could play independently, so we were at home more. Isn’t a girls vs boys thing (I had it the utter reverse of the stereotypes on this thread), just a personality thing and I would definitely advise rolling with the personality! Whatever makes your life easier

My son is 2 and although will potter around the house, he has hardly any interest in toys, colouring, etc. He is full of energy and wants to be outdoors all day. He's happy digging through mud and rocks, playing in the park, etc. I'm also heavily pregnant so this break in the weather has been a godsend. We've been at the park for 2 hours this morning, he's had a whale of a time climbing and running around. The fresh air and exercise does them good, and much better for them being in doors all day. Plus my son gets very restless and whiny indoors all day so I'd go insane otherwise.

YADNBU.

My point was you may think girls are being boisterous and very active because you have no frame of reference.

Like ever meeting other children @formerbabe? Don't be ridiculous.

I think most kids are easier out of the house aren't they?! I have three older girls and a baby boy. DD3 in particular needs a lot of running around to sleep well (and past 6am!) and to be happy at home.

I know I am much happier out of the house (away from the housework ) and in the fresh air, I'm a high energy human myself...DP is more of a home body!

I have two girls and a boy - they were all easier to entertain outside the house at this age.

I used to take them out every day and run their energy off and then do quieter things with them later if they wanted to.

My Mum had both sexes and MIL just DH and both disapproved of how much we went out and about – I assume it was some kind of generational parenting difference.

They're late primary early secondary now and it swapped it's easier inside the house now.

I’m with you - two girls around same age and they have loads of energy. It’s more bearable for me to take them out and yes they sleep much better if they’ve been running/playing/swimming!

Are there really 2 year olds who sit quietly all day? Of any sex?

kids have got to learn to entertain themselves

I agree.
That's why mine have very limited tv access, and are left to play when I am home and do chores.

Then by 9am latest we are free to go out for the day and come back in time to make diner if we have it at home. That's more than enough time for them to learn to occupy themselves

I would be bored stuck at home, why should my kids have to? They will spend hours and hours of their life stuck in a classroom or an office, we make the most of free time.
If it's raining, there are enough soft plays and museums and all sorts, we don't spend much time at home.

Your mum is just wrong. Mine have always needed a good exercise every day. In no normal conversation would you be defending being an engaged parent who helps your child stay active. I also immediately thought... does her mum just have daughters?

You don't need to raise your children the way you were raised. Just do your own thing and ignore judgey comments. When you're a parent you're always going to be judged no matter what you do imo.

I once heard someone liken having children to having dogs in terms of the need to get out of the house daily (I that sounds crude and I'm not trying to say children are anything like dogs).

Being outdoors clearly works best for your children as I'm sure is the case for many others. Lots of fresh air and exercise, well done op and keep your chin up

Are there really 2 year olds who sit quietly all day? Of any sex?

Good point!

Some people are absolutely determined to maintain gender stereotypes aren’t they? Why so invested? Agree with Zone4flaneur, socialisation and confirmation bias and lack of critical thinking

@Zone4flaneur
*This thread is unbelievable.

A) this thread is living proof girls tend to be socialised into nice quiet compliant behaviour because that is apparently what is expected from them

B) confirmation bias is a thing. You believe boys are more boisterous therefore you notice that, and don't notice girls behaving in the same way*

OR C) the two sexes could exhibit different behaviour at a population level and posters are sharing their observations of this trend.

It has never been definitively proven that the different behaviour observed in boys and girls is due to socialisation and it is perfectly possible that boys and girls are inherently biologically different at a population level. Of course there will be some girls and boys that buck the trend and exhibit behaviour typically associated with the opposite sex but this doesn't prove that general trends of behaviour aren't true.

I can't stand how people jump on anyone that dares to suggest that boys and girls can have very real differences at a population level. This is a completely valid opinion and does not need to be rubbished and stigmatised. Different does not mean inferior and there is nothing inherently wrong with being different.