People often say that the worst part of an abusive relationship is the emotional and mental abuse.
People like this can really wear you down without you even knowing it.
I can’t believe he tries to tell you that you don’t have time for one coffee a week.
When you have small children, not everything gets done.
I hardly clean, I have mountains of washing, dinner isn’t always cooked.
It must be stressful living on such a budget.
The rural life would be lovely but not in your situation, you would have to have a strong partnership to deal with the loneliness, a stable income to make it worth it etc.
I think you’re right that he lacks respect, but that is not your fault, the way he treats you is not ok. You aren’t at fault here, men like that will grind you down no matter what you do.
I think you know deep down what would be best for you and the little one. The key is finding the means and the bravery to go forward.
Could you find a nanny or babysitting position that you could take your little on to ?