To have a 5th child

[Flowerflow]

I have 4 children ages 13, 9, 8 and 4 (5 in a few days), recently DP and I have been discussing have another child, he completely up for it but I'm still a little unsure. I have a few concerns like we currently live in a 4 bedroom house, oldest two share and youngest two have their own bedrooms. 8 year old is the only boy and if were to have another boy they would probably share but there would be a big age gap and DS wouldn't be impressed. That or we move to a bigger house which we might not be able to afford where we currently but would be able to if we move slightly further away. Another concern would be there'll be 5/6 between them and our current youngest so new baby might feel left out or the odd one out although not all our children are very close in age. I'm also unsure about going through pregnancy again, I've never really enjoyed it, baby, toddler stage and so I'll happily go through again but pregnancy I'm willing to go through not exactly happily though. On the other hand I'd love to have a fifth child and these concerns and problems can be worked through

People just assume every child they have will be healthy and stay healthy and 'slot right in

Agree.
Our healthy but unhappy teen is like a grenade in our lives.
Life is easy until it’s not and carrying the emotional load of 5 kids is a big undertaking.

I am shocked at how many people (a) think it is a good idea for the OP to have a 5th baby and (b) have so many children of their own.

Yes you are all selfish. As I said before, I am so glad me and DH have no children as I would be worried sick about their future. Do none of you with 3 or more children care about your childrens' future? You can bury your head in the sand all you like but it's not looking like the future is going to be great or easy. The world already is a pretty shit place.

As for one poster saying those making negative comments are jealous!!!! I have never been nor ever will be jealous of anyone that has children

I think you shouldn't because you don't seem to want another. It seems like what your husband wants and thsts a bad reason.

Maybe they do @PanGalaticGargleBlaster ?
You don't know them. You know the people in your own circle, maybe other demographics do things differently? That's the beauty of mn, opinions from people from every demographic.

I can tell you with 100% certainty, that my bil will not have children and will not fly entirely because of the environment. Of course, given the dozen or so people on this thread alone who do whatever they like based only on whether they want to; it's all in vain.

You're selfish as hell having four and you want another?!

More children than sense already. Don't do it!

@Ellisandra

No she said per lesson, per child. Do go back and read the post.

Doing anything with 5 kids must cost a fortune. 1 swimming lesson per child per week would be £40! £2k a year. You'd have to be loaded.

There you go, copied and pasted for you

When my mum is elderly, I will take care of her as needed but it would be lovely to have someone share the responsibility.

This has to be the biggest ever bullshit reason to justify to yourself why you want more and more and more babies. Ooooh so selfless, giving your babies another sibling to help share the load. Not.

Nah. You only have to look on this forum at the amount of people that do NOT have any sibling support and have nothing but problems, and still end up doing all the care work themselves.

More than 2 kids is unjustifiable and everyone knows it

What a load of shit

Practically how will this work? A young child and teen sharing a room is a headache, the teen may need time to do homework or want to watch TV or listen to music and if their brother goes to bed at 7, how does that happen. Can you afford to give them all equal opportunities, uni, driving etc? Will you be expecting the others to pitch in with caring for their sibling? You may also need to accept they will not be close and the child may not have anyone to play with - you have seen this talked about on many threads on here with big age gap siblings. Address the practical concerns first before giving into any broodiness

@mydogisthebest so because the world is a shit place we aren't in our own rights to create our own happiness? We may aswell all top ourselves now because everything is so shit and going down hill then shouldn't we?
There are more bullshit problems in the world than people having larger families. Or we could all live like the Amish, thst would solve everything wouldn't it?

Do none of you with 3 or more children care about your childrens' future

So those with two or less children care more about their kids future?

"OP have your 5th child, they aren't going to send the world into oblivion I'm sure of it "

and if everyone does likewise I'm sure it will.

Yes YABU and personally I'd see it as unfair on the children you have already.

When I was growing up 5 was a pretty standard family, I was one of four. Having to share, caretake, help out etc. is good for children, it develops character and communal responsibility. It would be good for the planet to host one less snowflake. Also not meeting every need in a child creates ambition, it gives them something to strive towards. Your family already sounds delightful and if you can welcome another child into a loving and stable home, more power to you.

Why 5?! The money, the chaos, the planet.
In your shoes I would be grateful for the 4 healthy children you have an enjoy not having a baby anymore

Meh. I have 4 children. We all make different choices but there is no right choice.

Is it really too complex for some people to understand that if too many people make your 'different choice' then the world is fucked🙄

I have two DC, but would have loved to have had six if DH had been up for it. Go for it, OP. For every couple with 5 DC, there's another couple with none or one. It all balances itself out in the end.

@Alreadytaken if you read my PPs on what people should be focusing on then it wouldn't make a difference if everyone had more than 4 kids.

@Hildegard excellent point.

Four is plenty. Don't know why you'd rock what sounds like a happy enough boat by adding another baby to the mix.

For every couple with 5 DC, there's another couple with none or one. It all balances itself out in the end.

Er, no.

it's easier to be outraged at a woman on the internet who has every right to have children and use her (and likeminded others) as a scapegoat to why the world's failing. Tosspots lot of ya.

Are you denying that countless scientists have come forward to say that overpopulation is the main reason that our planet is headed towards disaster?

People like the OP who are having so many children are contributing massively to overpopulation. Overpopulation is the main cause of this planet's destruction. That's not scapegoating, that's just fact.

For me the main issue is I think it will massively impact on activities, days out and how much attention you can give your current children. Think how much harder and restricted days out would be with a baby and all the associated stuff (buggy, car seat etc) to schlep about.