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Original poster

To have a 5th child

679 replies

Flowerflow · 09/05/2019 12:50

I have 4 children ages 13, 9, 8 and 4 (5 in a few days), recently DP and I have been discussing have another child, he completely up for it but I'm still a little unsure. I have a few concerns like we currently live in a 4 bedroom house, oldest two share and youngest two have their own bedrooms. 8 year old is the only boy and if were to have another boy they would probably share but there would be a big age gap and DS wouldn't be impressed. That or we move to a bigger house which we might not be able to afford where we currently but would be able to if we move slightly further away. Another concern would be there'll be 5/6 between them and our current youngest so new baby might feel left out or the odd one out although not all our children are very close in age. I'm also unsure about going through pregnancy again, I've never really enjoyed it, baby, toddler stage and so I'll happily go through again but pregnancy I'm willing to go through not exactly happily though. On the other hand I'd love to have a fifth child and these concerns and problems can be worked through

OP posts:
Calloway · 09/05/2019 17:17

Your point that 'It all balances itself out in the end' is nonsense though. Just because you make up some hypothetical couples doesn't change that.

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:18

Ok I will bite but only because many of you are spouting absolute rubbish.

It is scientifically accepted that population growth is expected to halt at around 11 billion which is not overpopulation.

In the simplest form. Developed countries need 2.1 to replace death rates. Currently it is 1.6. Developed countries rely on immigration to increase these numbers.

Countries such as Africa and India are currently high in their birth rates but these are declining all of the time due to industrialisation and education.

Please check the science for yourself before jumping on the OP. This is research undertaken by the United Nations at length.

On the other hand consumption is a major factor. But then a family of 4 can consume More than a family of 10.

Be as environmentally kind as you can but overpopulation is not a worry.

ANewDawn10 · 09/05/2019 17:18

Op what about your current children. They are all quite young, how do you manage to give them individual attention and time without adding another to the mix? The living situation seems a bit tight at the moment too.
I feel sad for you. You are only 34 and it seems like a big chunk of your life has been spent having children. Do you have any other ambitions for yourself.
You might say that being a mum is your ambition and it fulfills you but what happens when they grow up and move on.

MagicKingdomDizzy · 09/05/2019 17:20

Drogosnextwife

I read that as one lesson per child per week (counting each child= 5) so £40 split between 5.

But go ahead and be pedantic. It's obvious what she meant.

Barbie222 · 09/05/2019 17:22

I'd love to see that Prince Philip quote too.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 09/05/2019 17:23

Well if David Attenborough says over population is a problem that's good enough for me.

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:23

And for what it is worth the main issue for population is the extended age of non working groups and the demand on resources due to declining health. So a question to all of you who are calling the OP selfish. Do you agree that to be totally selfless, we should all bump oursleves off at a certain age? Or would you take the stance that you are entitled to it?

ShivD · 09/05/2019 17:24

I would be 90% of people who stopped at 1/2 kids in this country are not doing so for environmental reasons. Despite what everyone here is saying!

MagicKingdomDizzy · 09/05/2019 17:24

GreenTeacup

It is scientifically accepted that population growth is expected to halt at around 11 billion which is not overpopulation.

Are people just going to stop procreating once the population hits 11 billion?

And how exactly?

profumoaffair · 09/05/2019 17:25

People may not say anything to your face, but they will judge you harshly - and rightly so. It's completely tone-deaf to even post a thread like this - you should already know that it is irresponsible to have 5 children in this day and age - especially if the 5th child is planned.

Barbie222 · 09/05/2019 17:26

I think GreenTeacup says a lot of sense, consumption of resources is the thing and it isn't quite as simple as more children = worse environment, although for a lot of middle class people that's true because it takes a lot of recycling to offset a plane journey or constant use of a car. If you lived off grid and were carbon neutral or better I can see how it might be more complicated.

MagicKingdomDizzy · 09/05/2019 17:26

GreenTeacup

Yes extended life expectancy is a problem. So all these extra children being born are going to live much longer.

ethelfleda · 09/05/2019 17:27

Having a fifth child is ridiculous given the state of the poor planet

Agree with this

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 09/05/2019 17:31

I can't even countenance a second let alone a fifth! Madness

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:32

MagicKingdomDizzy

From data taken from birth and population growth rates. We are actually slowing down dramatically year on year. Was 2.09% increase in 1968 and has been declining to the current 1.07% (the decline is expected to continue)

Eventually birth v death rates will level. They predict this will be around 2100 and will stand at 11 billion

ArcheryAnnie · 09/05/2019 17:32

The OP really sounds very tepid on the idea of having a fifth child, and it sounds like her DH is the one pushing for it. That by itself is enough to make me think she shouldn't.

I have one DS. I really am terrified for his future and worry what his life will be like, when even someone like David Attenborough is describing the "collapse of society". It's fairly certain he will not live as long as I already have, if current predications about the state of the environment, and the likely effect on human life, are anything to go by. I would not want to expose any more kids to that, and I find it extraordinary that anyone with four children and an uncertain future wants to add another child to face that uncertain and scary future.

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:35

Currently death rates are exceeding birth rates but Countries such as Africa and India are making up for this. In the future the birth rate in these countries will also decline but we are also expected to live longer. Hence the balance of population.

puma84 · 09/05/2019 17:37

People may not say anything to your face, but they will judge you harshly - and rightly so. It's completely tone-deaf to even post a thread like this - you should already know that it is irresponsible to have 5 children in this day and age - especially if the 5th child is planned

I couldn't give two shiny shits about someone judging me and even less shits given to strangers!

I'll have as many as I want and when I want and there's nothing you can do to stop me 😜

ElektraLOL · 09/05/2019 17:37

'I'd love to see that Prince Philip quote too.'

Yes. Remind me how many children he has again?

Calloway · 09/05/2019 17:38

I'll have as many as I want and when I want and there's nothing you can do to stop me

All the really mature people opting for larger families...

TacoLover · 09/05/2019 17:40

I'll have as many as I want and when I want and there's nothing you can do to stop me

Have fun watching your many children suffering and struggling enormously thenSmile

Lifeinthelastlane · 09/05/2019 17:41

I am a fifth child. I recommend them, personally. Smile

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:42

David Attenborough talks a lot about climate change.

Consumption is out big problem here. We cannot afford to sustain meat eating diets for example. Our love of plastic and our ease at switching the gas and electricity on is killing our planet.

We can sustain our population but we cannot sustain our consumption. They are two very different things.

BrewdogMillionaire · 09/05/2019 17:44

GreenTeacup bit hard to take your comments as authoritative when you refer to Africa as a country...

But I agree with PPs that a 5th child places an unnecessary burden on the planet's resources (especially if they then have children and descendants of their own).

It would be fairer to place your energy into the current 4 children and try and nurture them as much as possible. Teenage years in particular will be challenging due to exams, hormones, and overall cost. Also, there is no guarantee that child 5 will be healthy. And what if this pregnancy results in multiple births? If you are unable to meet these potential challenges then I wouldn't advise you have another pregnancy.

And yes I'm another poster who has taken the world's resources into account when choosing whether to have children. (Broodiness took over so I have shifted my personal position from having none to having a maximum of 2, but I still feel guilty about this choice).

AlaskanOilBaron · 09/05/2019 17:44

It is scientifically accepted that population growth is expected to halt at around 11 billion which is not overpopulation.

Wrong.

It is generally accepted by most demographers that the population will plateau at 11 billion.

There is absolutely zero scientific consensus that 11 billion is does not constitute overpopulation. Please stop with this nonsense.