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Original poster

To have a 5th child

679 replies

Flowerflow · 09/05/2019 12:50

I have 4 children ages 13, 9, 8 and 4 (5 in a few days), recently DP and I have been discussing have another child, he completely up for it but I'm still a little unsure. I have a few concerns like we currently live in a 4 bedroom house, oldest two share and youngest two have their own bedrooms. 8 year old is the only boy and if were to have another boy they would probably share but there would be a big age gap and DS wouldn't be impressed. That or we move to a bigger house which we might not be able to afford where we currently but would be able to if we move slightly further away. Another concern would be there'll be 5/6 between them and our current youngest so new baby might feel left out or the odd one out although not all our children are very close in age. I'm also unsure about going through pregnancy again, I've never really enjoyed it, baby, toddler stage and so I'll happily go through again but pregnancy I'm willing to go through not exactly happily though. On the other hand I'd love to have a fifth child and these concerns and problems can be worked through

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 09/05/2019 17:45

Oh yes I missed that bit. No definitely don’t have any more if it’s not even you that wants it!

Whoops75 · 09/05/2019 17:45

I am a fifth child. I recommend them, personally. smile

I am too and I told her not to bother Blush

feduuup · 09/05/2019 17:47

I genuinely do not believe you can give enough time to 5 children, one of the reasons I stopped at 2 is I knew with our situation (both full time) we couldn't give 3 or more children the care and attention we could give to 2 (note OUR situation not saying everyone with 3+ children can't) but I can't see how any family set up could give the amount of time and care I'd like to give, to 5 children. The thought of homework alone makes me wince!!

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:48

Have fun watching your many children suffering and struggling enormously

In what way exactly?

My children are all way above expected educationally. Eldest achieved 6 A* and 3 A’s. Second expected 9’s and 8’s.
One is signed by a premiership league team Academy and is having the time of his life. They are far from struggling emotionally or physically.

We are not rich but have been willing to make huge sacrifices ourselves. The question shouldn’t be “will the children suffer” but “are you willing to make your own sacrifices to ensure that they don’t suffer”.

OldUnit · 09/05/2019 17:48

Yep. Stop churning out consumers. We don't need it.

MintyCedric · 09/05/2019 17:51

I think 5 kids is madness (and my idea of pure hell on earth)

This

But I am an only child and have only got one child myself so possibly not best qualified to comment!

I do think the fact that you mention so many cons and no pros is telling though.

funinthesun19 · 09/05/2019 17:51

you should already know that it is irresponsible to have 5 children in this day and age - especially if the 5th child is planned

This day and age as opposed to when? 100 years ago when they had 1There will never be a “right time” to have big families and you can moan about it till you are blue in the face but you won’t

puma84 · 09/05/2019 17:52

@GreenTeacup people and their accusations as usual. They like to stereotype big family's as being on benefits and having no life and are doomed!

My kids are far from that.

AlaskanOilBaron · 09/05/2019 17:53

GreenTeacup, maybe you're an amazing parent. I don't care. It's all about consumption and finite space/resources.

Of course on MN it seems everyone with 4+ kids is vegan, doesn't fly, composts, etc (despite their fervent beliefs that the planet is doing just fine).

funinthesun19 · 09/05/2019 17:53

you should already know that it is irresponsible to have 5 children in this day and age - especially if the 5th child is planned

This day and age as opposed to when? 100 years ago when they had 1 potato to feed the whole family? There will never be a “right time” to have big families and you can moan about it till you are blue in the face but you won’t stop it from happening. Just concentrate on your own life and stop moaning. We’ll all be dead one day so stop acting all superior when you’re not.

Calloway · 09/05/2019 17:54

This day and age as opposed to when? 100 years ago

Well, yes. Does that even need to be stated? This day and age when people realise the impact of overpopulation and this day and age when women have access to contraception.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/05/2019 17:55

Barbie222

I'd love to see that Prince Philip quote too.

The quote I was referring to is here:
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jun/21/quotes-by-prince-philip

There are also a lot more things that he has said on the subject here. One of them begins "The sheer weight of numbers of the human population, our habitations palaces" and was part of a speech to the Edinburgh University Union in 1969, when he would have been 48 or 49. He seems to have had a huge epiphany and gained an enormous amount of authoritative knowledge to make him do an apparent complete volte-face in the five years or so since Prince Edward, his own 4th child, was born:
en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Prince_Philip,_Duke_of_Edinburgh

MagicKingdomDizzy · 09/05/2019 17:56

GreenTeacup

Say for arguments sake that the population does level out when it hits 11 billion. The big question would be whether the planet can cope with an extra 4 billion people.

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 17:57

**It is generally accepted by most demographers that the population will plateau at 11 billion.

There is absolutely zero scientific consensus that 11 billion is does not constitute overpopulation. Please stop with this nonsense.**

There is. In fact it has been stated that if all of those 11 billion were concentrated in one demographic area, at most they would take up the equivalent of 3 US states. This study was an extension of “The square mile” led by Tim Chant. It is an interesting read.

AlaskanOilBaron · 09/05/2019 17:57

There will never be a “right time” to have big families and you can moan about it till you are blue in the face but you won’t stop it from happening.

The collective moaning has stopped CTC etc for 3+ kids - that's a start. It's not going to stop. There's no public will to make it cheap or easy for people to have big families, the tide has turned.

alreadytaken · 09/05/2019 17:59

sorry MissPolly, cant remember exactly what you said - but it would still make a difference, even if all the children were vegan and they lived off grid - and there was mention of maybe a bigger house, so more consumption of resources. Anything that makes the position worse is best avoided.

AlaskanOilBaron · 09/05/2019 17:59

There is. In fact it has been stated that if all of those 11 billion were concentrated in one demographic area, at most they would take up the equivalent of 3 US states. This study was an extension of “The square mile” led by Tim Chant. It is an interesting read.

Why don't you post links to all these credible publications?

VladmirsPoutine · 09/05/2019 18:00

After the 5th you're most likely want to go for the 6th. I've always had a theory that if parents have more than 2 then all bets are off imho.

GreenTeacup · 09/05/2019 18:01

Say for arguments sake that the population does level out when it hits 11 billion. The big question would be whether the planet can cope with an extra 4 billion people.

Population yes IF we find an answer to our consumption problems and create a sustainable future. I believe we are the first generation to really sit up and notice.

MagicKingdomDizzy · 09/05/2019 18:01

GreenTeacup

There is. In fact it has been stated that if all of those 11 billion were concentrated in one demographic area, at most they would take up the equivalent of 3 US states

What about infrastructure? The resources to house these extra 4 billion. They need food, medical care, jobs etc. It's not just about space. The current systems we have are already under immense pressure with the population we have, without adding an extra few billion people.

puma84 · 09/05/2019 18:02

@mydogisthebest has decided she's not having kids. So I'll have one more for her 😂

Seriously people. Thousands of people die everyday compared to how many babies are born in a day. It all evens out in the end.

funinthesun19 · 09/05/2019 18:02

The collective moaning has stopped CTC etc for 3+ kids - that's a start. It's not going to stop. There's no public will to make it cheap or easy for people to have big families, the tide has turned.

For the people who care only about an extra £60 a week, yes it will probably make them think twice. But there will be plenty who don’t want the extra money, believe it or not.

MsTSwift · 09/05/2019 18:03

Agree. The tide is turning now. Used to be the odd lone voice on these threads with climate/over population concerns now about 50% of posters have those concerns.

As to the “ we need babies to look after the elderly” how the hell can the planet cope with that Ponzi scheme? Where does it end? Resources are not infinite.

Calloway · 09/05/2019 18:03

It all evens out in the end.

This must be their slogan.

NotVeryChattySchoolMum · 09/05/2019 18:04

Interesting that people list many cons of having 4-5 kids.

Isn't even one child bringing lots of cons? You lose freedom, having a kid looks terrible on paper compared to being childfree :)

I am very happy with my 3. Three different personalities balancing each other out and they cannot imagine now being without each other. I am lazy arse and more than 2 would have looked like a disaster waiting to happen on paper, but the strengths they have managed to draw from me is also surprising.

I also have a friend who got pregnant with 4th by accident, talked herself out of having abortion thinking they will manage it and this child turned out to be the wildest child of all, harder than even her autistic child and she really struggles not to neglect her other 3.

I mean, anything can go.

Then obviously we need to look at state of world beyond our fences too and wonder what future the kids will get caught up in. That's another topic.