AIBU for wondering why the government assumes 12 year olds don’t need childcare?

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Hi folks,
Looking at Tax Free Childcare and I see it stops when a child turns 12.
www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare
Can I ask what the heck working parents with 12 year olds are expected to do in the summer and why there is so little provision for that tricky bit where they’re pretty independent but you really don’t want them sitting around the house all day on their own?
DS is 12 and it looks like summer care will cost me £125 a week. Normally I’d apply accrued childcare vouchers, but the summer camps are not registered for childcare vouchers. The ones that are registered won’t take him because he’s 12.

@wengie, we’ll have a chat.
I think we’ll do a mix and match. A week or two where his father and I wfh and he is given freedom to meet up with the one or two local friends but know we can still help and the rest will be age appropriate camps where the older kids don’t have to mix so much with tiny ones.
The wfh means he will not be lonely and will have a needed safety net.

You’ll find plenty of other threads admonishing mothers for leaving children under 14 on their own.

In our house, childcare ended when the youngest entered year 7.

YANBU OP. I struggle with that too. We are lucky that I work part time and am home by 4. But it still a very long day for them to be unsupervised. They end up spending hours on video games and TV and for 6 weeks that is hardly ideal.

We would all like to think grooming happens elsewhere, and drug addiction and self harm happens to other people’s children, but this perception is false.

The above x1000.

I mean they would because I don't have the heart to leave them that long without arranging some kind of activity or encouraging them to go and see friends

I am shocked at the responses on here. A 12 year old left in the house all summer from 8-6pm?? Seriously? I wasn't allowed to be, even when i was that age!! Not days on end. A couple of hours here and there but day in day out?

I don’t care if I sound precious but I wouldn’t dream of leaving my DD home alone all Summer when she is 12. Completely agree the child care voucher scheme should run until 14. It would be very helpful.

Not all 12 year olds are built equal.
And this^
My dd isnt quite frankly responsible enough.
Thank god i am a teacher have that time off! i really do sympathise.

Yanbu

Once they finish primary school they should be independent enough to get themselves to and from school plus left at home for the summer holidays. Give your child project and ask them to do odd household jobs around the home of they’re bored. My daughter was earning pocket money doing home jobs while I was working full time. They aren’t babies any more

I was a very independent 12 year old and I had very attentive parents but was always off climbing trees or around friends in the small village we lived in. My sister however aged 12 could not be left alone for long, she was a bit clueless and got bored easily, managed to lock herself out of the house etc. So yes, not all 12 year olds are the same maturity/ability wise! Hope it works out for you OP.

This is why I'm going to stay in teaching if I can bear it. Only 12 years to go until my youngest is 16. Oh my... 12 more years!!

I can’t offer any advice, but I just want to say I sympathise with you!

I’m having an issue where my four year olds 30 hours free childcare is now in place (which I am SO grateful for otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to take on my dream job) but they limit holidays allowance to 3 per term. I am left with five weeks of the summer holiday having to pay £900. It’s so hard trying to work when childcare is that expensive.

And no, I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving a 12 on their own for that long. 14 maybe, but not 12.

I’m sure plenty of people would call you a bad mother if you left him alone and then something happened. I hope you find a solution x

I wouldn't leave my 11 almost 12 year old (y7) for that length of time. It is too long, it would be very isolating. I wouldn't want him out and about with friends either. My DS doesn't like to be left alone, feels anxious. He is a very young 11 year old. I was much more independent at his age.

Pay for your own kids ??? Like ummm, most people?

My kids are 8 and 10 and I had no idea that system existed.

My mum didn't get childcare vouchers and just basically worked for free through the holidays to pay for childcare till I was about 12 and looked after myself, same for my sister. Maybe its worth saving through the year for the inevitable school holiday childcare if you don't want your child home alone.

It is no wonder we have social issues in this country when you read this thread. Literally some parents are washing their hands with parenting when the child reaches twelve.
Honestly I think that’s when the real task of parenting begins in my view. Anyone can raise a baby or shall child, but pre teens and teens need all the guidance and help them get as they leave the family home.

It is not say a twelve year old isn’t capable, independent and adventurous, but leaving your child to roam the streets or stuck inside glued to screens every day over the holidays, it is one of the most depressing prospects I have read.
I couldn’t be alone all day after day, and I am in my mid forties. I would feel very depressed.
Forget the loss of childhood and feeling looked after, the risk is huge for those latch key children with absolutely no one to look out for them. I am shocked anyone could do it.

www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare
For those who are unaware of this system. Sign up!

I have the same problem, 12 years old is really too young to be left at home for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week for up to 6 weeks.
Its easier if you have grandparents to help or live in a town so DC can independently meet up with friends but we don't have either of these options. Summer clubs are more often aimed at the younger age group. Me and DH juggle A/L to help accommodate and DH can do some WAH.
The other issue with leaving DC alone at this age -as I know from bitter experience- is that a 12 year old cannot cope in an emergency-i.e curtains catching alight because their irresponsible mum has left a magnifying mirror in bay window !!! Or they've started to run a bath got distracted with netflix and starts water gushing through ceiling!

I very much doubt anyone is leaving thier child everyday for the whole 6 weeks!!!! Most people I know will leave them for a couple of day’s here and there in between parents taking holiday/grandparents/having days with friends etc

Yup!!!

brie you clearly haven’t read the whole thread.

You can just think about financing your own children instead of being defendant on financial relief.

I took my DS out of private school as the holidays were way too long and the school day too long, including Sat morning and Bank Holidays. The state school then changed their summer holidays and added an extra week to summer, with two terms notice.
I was livid!!
Main parent, full time worker, no family! Too old for formal holiday clubs. Dad around but not great at childcare extras.
I’m happy to say that DS is now a thriving, independent kid who knows how to get around on public transport, can ably make pasta pesto or a cheese toastie for lunch. He chooses to run the hoover around, of his own accord while I’m at work and knows to pick up a loaf or he may starve (he gets through about 1 a day).
Would I have chosen this childcare route? No. But having had no choice It doesn’t appear to have done either of us any harm either.
It is what it is OP. In a years time it will feel less worrying.

Threads like these make people sound like benefit scroungers.