AIBU for wondering why the government assumes 12 year olds don’t need childcare?

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Hi folks,
Looking at Tax Free Childcare and I see it stops when a child turns 12.
www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare
Can I ask what the heck working parents with 12 year olds are expected to do in the summer and why there is so little provision for that tricky bit where they’re pretty independent but you really don’t want them sitting around the house all day on their own?
DS is 12 and it looks like summer care will cost me £125 a week. Normally I’d apply accrued childcare vouchers, but the summer camps are not registered for childcare vouchers. The ones that are registered won’t take him because he’s 12.

Maybe he can buddy up with a sensible pal and take turns to be at each others' houses?

Sorry but unless there's SEN I'm not seeing the issue with that.

Next year you will have to get your holiday request in earlier to break things up a bit?

Yanbu.

I am out of the house for 10 hours a day on a workday. That is not ‘a few hours’.

Not everyone has releayives on tap to look after their DC.

And as we know from MN, friends’ parents might not be very happy to see my DC rock up day after day. Those with a non-working parent round my way tend to be away for much of the summer.

In this situation I’d try and work it so I worked the first two weeks of the hols, then a week off, then work two weeks, then a week off, then it’s back to school. Not ideal but it breaks it up a bit.

I’ve got a 12yr old and yes I'm happy to leave him alone but I agree with you - all day every day is a lot. Although I would try and arrange one day a week at a friends and another at a sports club or something.

Our holiday camp doesn't accept them at all and they take children from reception age.

A childminder would have him and still accept vouchers I'm sure.

I think we are on our last summer of childcare ds is going to year 7 in September and nearly 12 and dd is in year 5 so next summer will have left primary and have an almost 13 year old brother so I intend to leave them at home.

I'm lucky though that I work in a school which has short opening hours in the holidays plus we live about a 7 min drive from work and I could leave in an emergency. I am also able to work from home. At Easter I did one day of my week off but I worked from home for a few hours in the morning, went in late morning and worked a few hours then came home and did the same so my DC's were only home alone (well actually out with friends) for just over 3 hours).

A few suggestions here: www.theguardian.com/money/2016/jul/09/summer-camps-for-kids-budget-free-ideas

Just out of interest, are the people who suggest leaving a 12 year old to the own devices all summer also fine with unsupervised parties, unsupervised sleepovers with friends of the opposite sex, etc? Because there's nothing to stop a child home alone for weeks from getting into all sorts of trouble without really meaning to.

I do agree that the tax free childcare has to stop somewhere and the need for it is greater with younger children, so YABU for expecting it to carry on here I think.

Thinking back to being a 12 year old, I didn’t need childcare at all and would’ve hated holiday camps. Many 12 year olds probably feel more comfortable in their own home for the day. If you can trust them to sensibly stay there I really can’t see any issue.

Maybe leave him alone half of the week (or arrange for him to stay with his friends- have a friend to sleepover etc) and send him to holiday camp the other half.

He’ll have July to August off.
I can use about 2 weeks annual leave.
That means I have 6 weeks to handle and his 10 year old brother.
I’m afraid I checked and no local camps accept childcare vouchers and 12 year olds.

The places offering clubs for 12 year olds surely could register to take vouchers if they wanted to - if you haven’t, worth asking them - making it clear that your booking is dependent on their answer.

Cross post

@Broostickoflove exactly.

I agree re time alone and my older two are young teens!

Their school hols are best part of 12 weeks and I'm out of the house from 7:30-6. I can do a few days from home here and there but absolutely loathe to leave them entirely to their own devices for all that time.

No idea what the answer is.

Yes seriously! Under 12 should not be left unattended and under 16s not for +12hrs (I.e not overnight) as per nspcc guidelines. Being left all day for 5 days a week probably isn't as fun as a summer club or days out but it isn't unsafe. It's a luxury not a necessity as getting childcare for my 8 month old would be for example.

I'm with you OP.

Grandparents are over an hour away and have other commitments. No friends within walking distance (new school this year, moving from non local primary). Only club that will take her she doesn't like the staff and its very sports heavy, which isn't her thing.

She's sensible and careful but doesn't want to be left alone for 11 hours, and I think that's understandable. Ditto further away friends are the types to have an activity planned for every day of the holidays (non working parents - literally, have seen the schedule, it's exhausting reading) and so not around to just keep her company.

Am dreading it. I don't have a clue what we're going to do!

@Barbie22 why does it ‘have to stop somewhere’ do you seriously think it’s a major funding drain for the government? Seriously?

There is a difference between needing childcare and entertainment. Most 12 years old don't need childcare. Entertainment is indeed a luxury. My mum was a single parent working 10 hours. She took 1 week off, so did my dad and I had to entertain myself for the other 4 weeks. This involved a mixture of sleeping a lot, doing chores my mum asked me to do, watching a lot of TV and spending time at my best friend's house.

Are you saying he has 8 week summer holiday. (2 weeks plus 6 weeks?) So he is at private school? And you're complaining about government not funding childcare in the holidays???

I'd be happy to leave my 12 year old alone as she's very mature. But she has crippling anxiety and isn't willing to be left alone. It's only recently that she has been willing to sit in the car for five minutes whilst I go into a shop.

So I do see that age 12 can be tricky.

Yes I agree with you, I'm happy to leave my 12yo for the odd day but not a long stretch. Athough I'm lucky to be part time and able to bank hours in term time and take more time in the holidays, it can still be a struggle. My concern is what do I do when I have to leave 2 of them (18m between my 2) - o their own, either of them is quite sensible but together they either get silly or fight!

I'm sure there are many 12yo who are no way sensible enough to leave alone.

My children have nine weeks summer holiday and they're not at private school. And yes, I'm in the UK.

But the OP wasn't complaining about the government not funding childcare, she's saying that she has accrued childcare vouchers that she can't use. She's not asking for free childcare.

The old scheme, childcare vouchers, allows use till age 15. This seems very generous though!

At age 12 I think it is more enrichment than childcare. At this age I would be looking at youth schemes or voluntary opportunities for them, both of which are free or minimal cost.

Then you’ll need to look for activities which aren’t camps.

The 10yo goes to camp for another summer (or two) and the 12yo does a patchwork of other activities. As well as council-run sports-based activities, try local churches (even if not religious), listings on the local papers (or Families mag/similar if your area has one), National Trust for themed workshops, even your local bobby.

My 11 year old is left for 2-3 hours at a time but has recently admitted to feeling anxious when we are out, so have stopped this for now. He’s growing in independence all the time so I think in another year he won’t care, but it’s the transition time that’s a worry.

I do think this is going to be an increasing problem, because the age that people think it's acceptable to leave a child alone seems to be getting higher and higher, but there's no real provision for secondary age children. I was saying this to DH - we keep thinking of childcare costs as something that'll stop at 11, but I think by the time our baby DS is that age leaving an 11 year old will be seen as neglectful.