AIBU for wondering why the government assumes 12 year olds don’t need childcare?

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Hi folks,
Looking at Tax Free Childcare and I see it stops when a child turns 12.
www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare
Can I ask what the heck working parents with 12 year olds are expected to do in the summer and why there is so little provision for that tricky bit where they’re pretty independent but you really don’t want them sitting around the house all day on their own?
DS is 12 and it looks like summer care will cost me £125 a week. Normally I’d apply accrued childcare vouchers, but the summer camps are not registered for childcare vouchers. The ones that are registered won’t take him because he’s 12.

I’ve not RTFT.

But OP, in Canada it is pretty customary for 12yos to actually provide babysitting services. The Canadian Red Cross even runs babysitting courses for 11yos and up so they learn how to be good babysitters and the basics of first aid.

www.canadian-training.ca/training/other-courses/babysitting/

Honestly I can’t imagine that a 12 year old (barring developmental issues) needs a sister when they’re old enough to be a sitter themselves.

So essentially this is mainly an issue for DC (not counting those with SEN) who don't have older siblings, don't have family in the area, don't have any friends nearby and live in area where there is nothing to do within walking or cycling range and no public transport for them to get themselves anywhere.
That sounds a fairly miserable existence for a teen or preteen, even disregarding summer holidays. They must be reliant on parents to do anything that involves leaving the house. (I had a friend at university, who lived in such a rural village. He couldnt wait to leave home)

how many 12 year olds are happy to travel into town alone, wander round a museum alone, come home to an empty house etc?

I don't know, I was never alone in that way at that age, I always had my sister, my dad worked at home and my mum worked part time very locally.

Preumably part of the point of going into town would be to meet freinds so they weren't on their own?

Though now I think about I quite often used to get the bus into town and wander round on my own when I was this sort of age. Because, despite the presence of my sahm, home was really boring.

This thread has very much validated my wish to move from our village to our nearest town by the time our eldest starts high school. I love our village and it's perfect for children, but I worry how boring it could be in their teenage years (very poor public transport links).

I find it incredible that if someone posts about getting a dog and leaving it alone in the day they are flamed. However, children......no problem, leave them alone for entire days.....

My 12 yr old is up at 630am every day including during the holidays. No way would he be lay in bed all morning.

Newsflash - not all 12yr olds are the same

I'm trying to remember what I did in the summer holidays when I was 12 and I honestly haven't a clue. My mum was at home anyway, so there was no worry about me being left at home on my own. But I definitely didn't go to organised activities of any sort. I had one good friend who lived nearby and I have a feeling we just hung out together endlessly.

Childcare vouchers are tax free, they still cost money - it’s not free vouchers handed to people for having babies

The summer between year 7 and year 8 was the best as I was allowed to just do my own thing all summer instead of going to holiday clubs and whatnot - going rollerskating, meeting up with friends, wandering around town, and reading lots of books.

Meanwhile in my local mum's facebook group there's a mum wondering what to do with her two 8 year olds all summer as she has no holidays left and there's no proper childcare for that age group (apart from one mum who said they'll be fine, everyone agreed that it's too much for 8 year olds but I guess count your blessings you've had childcare until 12)

I have a 12 year old, i find school holidays really hard regarding childcare. Shes not sporty so not involved in any clubs or sports camps. Shes sensible and i leave her for 3 or 4 hours on her own but wouldn't want her to be on her own the whole day. Sometimes she hangs out with friends, or sometimes has to come to work with me.

Interesting dilemma. Now we have two secondary age DC we're okay with leaving them alone for odd days, but even though eldest is comfortable locking up and meeting up with friends off his own bat, we're not comfortable with him doing that when we're out at work, but that might be because there can be days at work when neither of us is easily contactable, so if there was a problem he couldn't let us know. Luckily work three short days so it's not an all week issue.

I've realised for this summer that they need a parent around to give them the freedom to go out, rather than to stay in and be childcare.

Things are a lot different than when we were kids. When I was 12 I stayed out most of the day, hung out with mates either in the park, woods or at their houses. I grew up in a big village and everyone kind of looked out for each other and each other’s kids, everyone knew each other and it was reasonably safe.

We now live on the edge of a small village, my dd doesn’t go to school with anyone who lives in the village so her friends are 5 miles away in the nearest town, there’s hardly any public transport and she’s never used public transport. If I leave her at home she literally stays in bed, just gets up to raid the fridge and is glued to a tablet or games console all day, I wouldn’t want her doing this every day during the school holidays. It’s all ok if your kids have access to the hints to do or friends to go out with but mine doesn’t and I’m sure many don’t.

'Luckily I only work three short days

That's the problem when you decide that your kids should go to a different further away school. Making friends with local kids is important for that exact reason.

Wow. Age 12 all my D.C. could cook a simple meal for themselves, do simple first aid, catch a bus or train... but like hell I'd want to leave them alone all day five days a week for 6 weeks!

I really don't think holiday provision for an average 12 year old is a luxury. There is holiday provision for up to 14 near here....most of the kids run around loads doing sport first thing in the morning then are tried out so spend the rest of the day chatting or on their phones. Parents don't mind because it's reasonably cheap and they know their kids are safe.

How many people in this thread actually leave their 12 year olds alone in the holiday? I know one family who left their only child alone while they worked. They have him a decent amount of money to occupy himself. He's a very academic kid, spent most of his time wandering around shops buying crap...once you've seen the local museum a few times the novelty wears off.

I live in between two decent sized towns. Most of the kids go to school in one town but a few go in the other direction to the other town, so they're much more isolated than my DD and her friends because they don't know as many kids in the village. It's not so much that their parents willfully sent them to be educated away from their peers it's more that for some it's the obvious choice eg if parents work in that town or whatever.

Could you pay an older teenager to watch him?

Someone that can be a bit like an older friend, to play football and take him to cinema etc?

Have you got the room for a summer au pair?

Swing my daughter went to school further away as she has sn’s and couldn’t cope in a bigger mainstream (she goes to a very small mainstream), we also live in a place where it’s unsafe to walk anywhere as there are no pavements.

Surely it's a.lesson on independence?

Can your child get about or do you live rurally?

They can go to the local pool, meeting friends there. Go for a bike ride, go to the cinema, meet friends at mcdonalds.

I tend to book a half day off (my eldest likes a lie in so wont have been up long) and book a friday and monday off so it feels like I have had a break.

There is a bank holiday in August so that is already a shorter week.

Then use childcare for one day (which is much hated and protested about)

So it is 1.5 day holidays for me x 5 weeks takes 7.5 days of my annual leave.
Childcare for one day per week and they are only left with 2.5 days to fill, the half being in the morning when they are pretty much asleep anyway. So 2 days to fill when they can either slob about on fortnite or read or watch a box set or get out and meet friends.

It is a pain to juggle and means I struggle fir holidays through out the year for anything other than childcare but thats just part and parcel of being a parent. Its ecen easier if there are two of you.

I am 56, certainly at 12 most kids were left to their own devices all summer when I was that age. Thats just how it was, it could be argued that they have a much nicer life now with lots more to do at home. (internet, TV games etc).

OP I agree. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place in getting more hours because of childcare in holidays for 12 year olds one of which is autistic. I work part time and it is a major problem so understand it is for you when you work full time.
I cant leave them alone while I work all day. And they are too old for holiday clubs in my area.
Options are: family. Well my family will only have them one day max in the six weeks.
Their dad: this might be an option for a couple of days but I cant rely on it.
Friends: I have a friend who might take them for one day. Other friends only in an emergency. Ie I need to go to a and e.
Childminder: i have been thinking this might be an option but i am guessing will be expensive.

swing I might choose for DD to go to a local school, doesn’t mean that a) she’ll get a place at a local school or b) that any of her friends there will be local!