AIBU to think that the term 'natural birth' might cause upset to others?

[Mitzicoco]

I had two water births. One fairly straightforward and the other not so (thank god I was in a hospital). When chatting to other mothers through NCT or baby groups I noticed that a lot of people referred to their births as natural. Nothing wrong with that, but I just wondered if I might feel upset by these comments if I had had a c-section, or some other delivery. Surely every birth is natural? What do you think?

When people say ‘natural birth’ I always think: ‘as opposed to what?’

When is a birth ever unnatural?

How about “birth with minimum interventions” or BMI for short......

I've always thought that natural childbirth meant no drugs or intervention, just using breathing and relaxation techniques. I would not be offended to hear the term used in that way, I'd just think lucky mum to have everything go smoothly. I've had 3 C sections for medical reasons so I wouldn't be happy if a proponent of natural childbirth assumed superiority in any sense.

I’ve had one ‘natural’ vaginal birth with gas and air only.

And I’ve had one c section in order to save both mine and my baby’s lives.

If anyone wants to tell me one of those births is somehow ‘better’ than the other, they can fuck off.

One of my friends who has had 2 sections, whilst not offended, did object to me referring to vaginal delivery as natural birth once

Only if you conflate the word natural with good / better / superior.

Paracetamol tablets aren't natural but you can be damn sure I reach for them when I have a headache.

Belladonna is natural but would kill me. Uranium's natural too and I don't want any of that either!

Yep! This reminds me of the nurse who told the snowflake in the next bed that "the hard bit's just starting now, love." Made me smile a bit....

What the actual fuck is wrong with you that you'd refer to another woman this way and smile at the thought of someone trying to put her in her place at a potentially extremely vulnerable time? That's an utterly vile sentiment. As for the bullshit statement from the HCP, I have never yet found parenting hard. A whole load of absolutely life wrecking shite has rained down on me both before and after motherhood and being a mother has made everything easier. The part of my labour where I was bleeding out after my section as the adrenaline shot I'd needed to keep my heart going when it nearly stopped while my largely paralysed (from the spinal block) body tried to vomit from shock was absolutely the lowest point of my parenting journey so far. I've yet to have a teenager though, so who knows what's around the corner. But why anyone would want to smugly wish ill on another mother for no fucking reason is beyond me.

Only if you conflate the word natural with good / better / superior.

It’s bizarre, but people obviously do.

As mentioned upthread, naturally dead is hardly a desirable outcome.

Meh I've had natural births and a c section. I think it just coz people would prefer an alternative word to vaginal. How about foof birth?

Interesting comments about NCT.
I didn't do an NCT course, I considered it but went for a hypnobirthing course in the end - ironically it sounds as if it was more balanced and informative than many NCT courses!
Obviously there was an emphasis on positive thinking and not discussing worst case scenarios, but we did cover pain relief, c-sections and other interventions. It was about making informed decisions.
I still felt rather cheated because I feel it lulled me into a false sense of security (the first midwife at my birth didn't give a shit about what i wanted and supporting me to make informed decisions) but tbh I'm not sure if I would have wanted it any other way, at least I felt calm in the run up to the birth and not terrified.

Doesn’t bother me at all. I had 2 cs’s (one emergency) and am really not bothered by how people describe their own birth

I've had an assisted delivery and an ELCS. Neither of which I consider natural. But I'm not offended by the word. I couldn't care less but then I don't set much stock in what other people think about how I birthed or parent my children.

People get offended because everyone from the NHS to NCT to mum bloggers/groups etc bandy the term natural around when they actually mean 'better'. It's used for lots of things - breastfeeding, BLW, cloth nappies birth, babywearing. All the more 'natural' way. And any mother on any mothering subject will probably feel a bit put out if someone tells them they the way they do/did things are better. Hence they are offended.

People should care less about what others think. It's liberating!

motheroftinydragons

People should care less about what others think. It's liberating!

Totally agree :)

I find ‘natural’ also means different things to different people.

For some it’s just another way to say ‘vaginal’ so even includes assisted instrumental births after an induced labour. For others it means a totally ‘normal’ physiological labour and birth without intervention.

The problem is that I don’t think the way I gave birth was intrinsically “better”. But it was better for me, because it was what I wanted. And because it was what I wanted, it was a positive experience. My SIL, who comes from Spain was utterly horrified on my behalf because the size of my babies would have meant an automatic Caesarian in her country and she felt- and I think still feels- that I was let down by the NHS, and tells it as a horror story. When I feel that I was helped to get what I want. Points of view an’all

Its a fashion. They should be saying a vaginal delivery. Nothing superior about it. Just lucky they got a live baby without medical assistance. As for the sections, lucky they got a live baby because of medical assistance

I had two caesareans. I don't think there's anything wrong with calling a vaginal birth a 'natural birth'.

Surgical intervention is hardly natural tbf!

Natural does seem to equate with superior nowadays with a lot of people.

Just walk through a supermarket or watch tv ads. So much stuff is marketed as 'natural', which we are supposed to accept as being better than artificial eg the use of terms like 'no artificial colouring' in food.

Unfortunately, I imagine a lot of women who are using the term 'natural birth' are also thinking natural equals to superior.

Unless it's a birth with absolutely no intervention at all then there will be an element of 'unnatural' about it: gas and air, stitches etc.

I'm assuming these women who had completely 'natural' births also chewed through the umbilical cord rather than using scissors to cut it, as there's nothing natural about scissors.

Odd, isn’t it?. People are saying that the use of natural implies better- while being quite disparaging of the women who say it- or who want a low/no intervention birth.

I’m more admirable of women who have had c-sections, my own DM included, as I’m nowhere near brave enough for that.

I've never understood that view point. I've had 2 but bravery had nothing to do with it, I didn't have a choice.

There's nothing brave about a c-section. You just lie there, there's no pain to endure. Unless you have complications (very rare with elective) it's easy. I chose it every time.

People are saying that the use of natural implies better- while being quite disparaging of the women who say it- or who want a low/no intervention birth.

This is a bit of a bugbear of mine. I actually refused to write a birth plan for this reason - presumably almost everyone wants a low/no intervention birth. Doesn’t mean you’re going to get one if something goes wrong, though (unless you’re happy to refuse medical treatment and put yourself and your baby at risk). Intervention happens for a reason. Nobody writes “would really like a forceps delivery”. So, yes, I suppose I am disparaging of people who say - ex ante - that they don’t want intervention. Because it demonstrates a lack of forethought and insight into the uncertain nature of the whole process....

I believe NCT are having a really big drive to make their courses far more evidence based and to provide support to all parents. They have changed their feeding helpline from a breastfeeding helpline to an infant feeding helpline as they want to support all parents.
If you had a bad experience with them I would feed it back because I think they are trying to weed out people who aren’t supporting all parents regardless of their choices. Not that how you give birth is a choice- it’s luck!

“Intervention happens for a reason. Nobody writes “would really like a forceps delivery”.”

Well, no, of course not. But if you decide in advance that you want an epidural, for example, then that goes with an increased risk of further interventions. It’s a trade off. Ditto if you go for an induction. Obviously often an induction is medically necessary. But also, often it can be put off a few days to see if things start on their own by having more frequent monitoring. Once again, a trade off.

But if you decide in advance that you want an epidural, for example, then that goes with an increased risk of further interventions. It’s a trade off. Ditto if you go for an induction

Ah, so it's all our own faults if it goes tremendously wrong, is it? We Should just have bitten down on sticks and all would have been well?

Ha! My daughter and I would be dead if I hadn't let them induce her after hours of labour. And if you haven't been induced, you have NO IDEA of the pain caused which makes Epidurals frequently necessary at that point.

The bollocks about a non-intervention birth being "better for me because it was what I wanted" is utterly self-congratulatory. Would that person feel the same if it was necessary to have had an EMCS to save life?

Talking about interventions as if they are all a choice the mother can make, with no bearing on her or the child's life, and that she "reaps what she sows", is the type of bollocks which does make some women feel shit.

Such attitudes make my blood boil. The best delivery is the safest delivery. Whilst I was utterly traumatised from my induction and EMCS, I realised it was only the judgement of others which made me feel like I had failed - especially from those women who had had no intervention and suggested it was somehow a failing to do ao, rather then luck.

What Really matters is the baby and mum being alive and ok at the end.