AIBU to think that the term 'natural birth' might cause upset to others?

[Mitzicoco]

I had two water births. One fairly straightforward and the other not so (thank god I was in a hospital). When chatting to other mothers through NCT or baby groups I noticed that a lot of people referred to their births as natural. Nothing wrong with that, but I just wondered if I might feel upset by these comments if I had had a c-section, or some other delivery. Surely every birth is natural? What do you think?

I had 2 c-sections. I could literally give no fucks about what you call births. As long as the babies are safe who cares how they got here?

I think there's enough things that offend people already without us looking to add to the list.

I always take natural birth to mean "vaginal birth but I don't want to say the word vaginal because it makes me blush".

Well my c section was carried out by experts who are human beings...they did what human beings should do in the circumstances. So it was natural.

Thanks.

totally agree that people say 'natural' to avoid saying 'vaginal'. I had a c-section and I'm fine with it not being 'natural' since it was instead SAFE. There is a part of me that definitely thinks that if other 'natural' aspects of motherhood - like breastfeeding - had subsequently been difficult or impossible for me, I might have felt like a proper failure. But I had a lovely birth, I'm really grateful for the professionals who made it possible for my baby to arrive without danger or trauma, and there's really nothing I'd change about it.

I love that HennyPennyHorror.

I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had gas and air!!!!!

I had a c section. What you call your birth is of no concern to me at all. I admire women who had a vaginal birth as it sounds excruciating

Last week I was chatting to another mum at a baby group. She said her baby was very late so I asked if she was induced, like me. She said ‘oh no, not induced, it was a totally natural birth, no drugs, completely natural, until she got stuck and I had a c section.’
At first I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous that statement was, but then I just felt really sad for her. She was clearly struggling with what happened.

I think on social media and with rise of interest in hypnobirthing the term ‘natural’ is held up as superior. The birth experience is beginning to become more important than a healthy baby and a healthy mum who felt cared for during the process.

It makes me so angry. I had a vaginal delivery with forceps, episiotomy and every drug going. Baby had cord around neck x3 and I was beginning to develop perineal year that could have become much worse without episiotomy. I am very grateful for the intervention.

I had two c sections,first one not planned the second elective . I say especially for the first one that he came out of the emergency exit.

I was confused to begin with when every midwife, health visitor and gp asked if my birth had been natural. I said no, I was induced... Took me a while to work out what exactly they meant by the question and clearly is giving the wrong answer! . I agree, it's a silly term. Vaginal is much better. No room for confusion.

I thought it was just a way of saying vaginal birth. I had 3 'natural births' but there was a lot of intervention with one of them. I still say I gave birth naturally, but meaning I didn't have a c section. Never thought of it as trying to get one up on anyone that had a section.

Agree it's a way to avoid saying vaginal because people are weird about using anatomical descriptions for genitals.

I've had c-sections and it doesn't offend me at all.

Are we so potentially offended by everything these days that we have to carefully choose and filter our words every moment of the day? It's getting beyond tiresome and to a point of ludicrousy.

'Are we so potentially offended by everything these days that we have to carefully choose and filter our words every moment of the day? It's getting beyond tiresome and to a point of ludicrousy.'

Couldn't agree more

I agree that people are getting offended where no offence is meant...but there are so many positive birth groups on social media etc that make women feel that a natural birth is a ‘goal’ that they can ‘achieve’ as long as they are ‘positive’ enough etc. Whereas actually once you’ve given birth you know that you have very little control. That’s why people get upset - because there is all this pressure on pregnant women now. I think hypnobirthing - whilst it has its place - is also having a negative impact.

Are we so potentially offended by everything these days that we have to carefully choose and filter our words every moment of the day? It's getting beyond tiresome and to a point of ludicrousy.

It isn't new. The same discussions/arguments/debates were taking place 20 years ago when I had my first child. Not sure that's an upside though!

Both vaginal birth and breast feeding is of course the natural way.

Mortality due to birth was a major cause of death of women of child bearing age until the last century.

Breast-feeding was as hit or miss as it is now, hence wet nursing (not always paid - often altruistic esp within families and close communities, why do you think women's menstrual cycles synche around each other?) and I saw a horrific article about the level of infant mortality among women who could not breast feeding successfully and didn't have a wet nurse for one reason or another.

• breast-feed

My point being that natural often = brutal.
And with high losses.

I dared to ask if labour pains were only felt through contractions ( I had NO IDEA about birth) and was told off for using the word' pain'!

Pain in child-birth?! Surely not!!

Moralitym1n1

I know!!! Who thinks that childbirth is painless? Said no-one ever....Grrrrrr.

Ha, so if anyone is seemingly bragging about a natural birth, we should ask “oh so you mean a vaginal birth with no epidural or gas and air?”
That might quieten them.

I had a C Section and if anyone says “I’m so glad I didn’t, it must be awful” I just say “well at least my undercarriage is as I remember it”

Another problem is that we seem to have come to a point where we regard pain as something always avoidable. There was another thread recently where a poster was insisting that a birth could only be a positive experience if it was painless.

“Ha, so if anyone is seemingly bragging about a natural birth, we should ask “oh so you mean a vaginal birth with no epidural or gas and air?”
That might quieten them. ”

Well, i wouldn’t be bragging- and I wouldn’t natural- but if anyone asked me about my births, then yes, that’s what I would say, yes. And no-I would try very hard not to be apologetic about it.....

*say natural