Toddler refuses to go to nursery

[Songsofexperience]

Posting here for traffic as I'm really unsure of what's best to do next.
My 2 year old DD started nursery a couple of months ago but she really hates it. There's nothing wrong with the nursery itself; her sister went there for years and was very happy. It's the same management etc. I thought she would need time to settle in but there's no sign of improvement. She also catches every bug going. I'm concerned about this because currently she is being looked after by her grand parents. I work full time and they badly need a break! The idea was for them to do it for a year and then we'd switch to nursery. There's also a language issue. My parents aren't native English speakers and I've always spoken my native language with my children (I see it as a huge benefit for later in life) so right now DD doesn't speak English. Nursery was always the place for my kids to learn English before starting school. I definitely don't want DD to reach Reception and not speak properly. The plan won't work if she completely refuses to go anywhere though! Anyone out there with reluctant toddlers who managed to turn this around?

She might just not be ready. It’s fine to leave it until she’s older. She will learn English quickly in school.

One of my earliest memories is being terrified of getting lost/separated from my parents aged 3 or 4 in France because we spoke English at home and I wouldn't be able to communicate. I genuinely thought if i got lost a French person would have to adopt me because id never get home again! I was also nervous being babysat by our French friends in case I couldn't communicate.
Being bilingual is a big advantage, and you're absolutely right to speak your own language at home, but it does create an extra layer to transition which might make starting nursery harder. It might be that your DC will be happier with a child minder where it is less busy and overwhelming while she learns the language. Or the flashcards with both languages is a great idea.
As an adult I've worked with bilingual children and teens and it is a wonderful opportunity and skill which I really believe vastly outweighs any problems like this they have to overcome - but it's important for parents and teachers of bilingual pupils to recognise that it can mean they need more support in some things. This also includes when they are teenagers and seem to have English as a dominant language; they can sometimes process things differently or more slowly, and fluency of written work can be affected by not hearing it at home. They can and do "catch up" (and often overtake) monolingual learners but much later than we think. All those of you raising bilingual kids, I recommend searching up Advanced Bilingual Learners, definitely worth having a read.

Regardless of language my 2 year old was traumatised going to nursery. I switched to a childminder and she now can’t wait to get rid of me. I think some children prefer a homely environment with less kids.

Definitely try a childminder. Different kids respond better to different settings.

I was brought up bilingual and it has helped me understand more about language and culture in general. I think that it can be of a real advantage for someone.

If language is her problem at the moment you could let her watch a few English sesame street videos on youtube everyday. They teach language stuff and counting in those videos, really appropriare for her age. You can watch it with her and then comment on it in your own language so she gets the link.

It is a real issue in Nursery DC starting with no English, especially when they start.
I got shot down for mentioning this, lots of resource is spent in primary schools getting children to read and write when they don't know the language.
My friend from Italy and her DH from Poland want to teach their DD both of their language despite them speaking English to each other, she is nearly 3 and hasn't learnt much of either of their language, she has some English but very basic, wow wow, bye bye.

EmeraldShamrock well yes you will be corrected when you write nonesense.

My DD took ages to adjust to crèche, she was shy, scared and needed a lot of support. My DS run in the first day and we had to drag him out. Neither spoke French when they started crèche.

Resources are spent to support children with various needs during their education, for example children with learning delays, emotional problems, socialisation issues, etc. This is exactly the point of education, to educate. Resources are also, rather ironically, spent to support monolingual children learning a second language.

Possibly a complex issue. The age, the English, the setting. All 3!! Your'll have to address/consider all aspects.

My DS run in the first day and we had to drag him out. Neither spoke French when they started crèche
It won't effect all DC, I think if a DC finds it hard to settle, it will be harder if they don't understand the language.
My DD loved preschool, I still have to drag DS in most days since September.
It will get easier OP, it takes time, it breaks your heart, we get used to it too, she is probably having a great time, when you leave.

Bring up your child bilingual by all means. But please help her understand basic English before putting her in a nursery setting with strangers.

I have worked in a nursery and had exactly the same situation of children coming in and not understanding even basic English. It is distressing for them and it always takes longer for them to settle.

Just basic things like, pop your coat on, come inside, would you like a drink, time to sit on the floor for a story. Could you imagine bring a small child and not having a clue what these strangers are asking you to do?

I think socialising and learning a new language at the same time might be indeed too much for her. I'll look for a part time nanny for the next 6 months or so. At first she can go to my parents' house so that there is someone there who can help translate (at least at the beginning). Then hopefully with the language out of the way, she'll find it less intimidating and can go back to nursery with more confidence.