To ask what it’s really like to live rurally?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Currently holidaying in the Lake District and as usual wishing I could up sticks from London and move to somewhere beautiful and with real community. But having grown up on the edge of London I’m so used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes, 24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away, lots of jobs, lots of schools, I know I really have no idea what it would be like to live in the countryside. I’m definitely in a nice, more affluent part of the countryside right now and there will be areas far more rural than this, so trying to think broadly, I know not everywhere will be the same.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities. Where I am now I’d guess a lot of farmers and a lot in hospitality, but that can’t be all. What’s the transport like? Does it matter? How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

A broad question I know but there’s such a range of places that will all be different, but would love the real story instead of just the ‘holiday’ view of the country.

Disclaimer: I’m aware as a born and bred Londoner my concept of what is rural might be really wrong, and that I also very likely have some rose tinted views of the countryside. I’m not trying to offend, so please be kind, I’m genuinely trying to learn!

I live in a village in Norfolk, we have a primary school (about 45 pupils) a pub and a shop/post office. It is 12 miles to each of the three local towns and there are zero takeaways etc which deliver.
I do love living here because the kids can be free range etc but we have to drive everywhere and need two cars which is spendy when you don't have great income (I'm an NHS Nurse).
Probably the worst thing about living here is that there is zero diversity, when my nieces and nephews had to come and stay with us and attend the village school when dbil had a heart attack other parents complained that they weren't given adequate notice that mixed race children were starting so how could they prepare their kids?!

Living rurally is bliss. I grew up in the countryside, I've lived in cities as a young adult/adult, moved back as soon as was feasible.

So ... downsides: you have to be prepared to drive a LOT. Public transport may be non-existent. Travel time can be a pain. Certain things (kids shoes, say) are not gettable. We live in an area that a lot of people won't deliver to, either. Everything is slow.

I
mean

you
have
to

get
used
to

everything

being

much

slower.

You have to rub along with whoever lives nearby, you can't just ignore people like you can in a city. No longer anonymous - everyone will know who you are and all about you.

Less culture. I see exhibitions maybe once or twice a year, it's a v occasional treat to go to a concert/show.

You'll either see less of people generally or end up having lots of visitors to stay over. Which can be great/a pain.

You'll need to be much more self reliant, discreet, kind, understanding, patient, ready to compromise.

Other than that - it's a joy, I love the sea, the landscape, the beauty, the peace. The ticks, midgies, mud ....

Sussex. The whole of MN wouldn’t fit.
Our village has less than 25 houses including outlying farms etc. Property rarely comes on the market. Next village slightly bigger with a pub and a village shop but population including farms and outlying properties is under 300.
There are downsides. Frequent power cuts. No mobile reception unless you hang out of an upstairs window. Mud. Lots of mud. Cyclists blocking roads and making me drive at 2 miles an hour for ten miles. Cows in labour making a dreadful racket. People knocking on door to ask for water/the phone/the loo. Getting completely cut off in snow. Lost tradesmen and failed deliveries. Expensive taxi rides, if you can get one.

Shit internet and phone signal. 10 miles to the nearest shop, if your lucky it will be open and if your very lucky it might have something similar to what you went for. Have to be very organised with shopping. ESP in winter. Don't offend the locals, even if you don't you will always be a incomer!

Yes couldn't get any mobile signal at MIL's. And yes everything is slower. Which is great if you are on holiday. But not if you have driven to the nearest tiny grocery shop and have two young kids queuing to pay, while the assistant spends AGES talking to everyone about the latest gossip. Also many places you may be able to walk through fields, but you take your life in your hands if you walk along the country lanes, as people tear round them in cars.
I would never live rurally, unless it is the village 15 minutes drive from a major town/city that some people talk about here. These are always commuter villages and not real villages.

I also think it's important to consider children if you move rurally. Whilst childhoods may be idyllic, teen years are full of being a taxi service, and when they become young adults more often than not they leave and don't want to return.

I live in beautiful west cork, Ireland and wouldn't move back to a city for a million squid.
Both of us lived in cities all our lives inc. London and we've both taken to rural life like ducks to water.
Moved from 3 bed in south of England and bought a modern large detached 5 bed house with a couple of acres of land near the coast. Bought a polytunnel and grow veg and have a few chickens but not self sufficient. More for fun really.
Nearest beach about a mile away. Short walk to nearest school but apart from the church there's no other shops/facilities nearby which is fine for us.
Nearest town is 4 miles away and city about 90 mins drive. Got stuck straight into community life and joined in lots of activities. Now have lots of friends.
People are genuinely interested and care about each other and offer to help whenever you have a problem. I had a flat tyre recently and was messaging a friend who sent her practical farmer husband round to put my spare on. When we had snow last year, another farmer dad from school drove over in his tractor to check we were ok and if we needed anything. Another time, I sorted some IT issues out for him, he brought us a huge supply of cut logs as a thank you.
DS is 10, loves school and has no idea what sex is other than maybe something farm animals do. Long may his innocence last. We visit rellies in London for short holidays and it's nice for a visit but I feel much healthier living here away from the intense pollution.
Broadband connection can be problematic in some areas but it's easily checked. Mine is good and I can watch Netflix so it's hardly pre-historic. Nearby town has 1gigabit connectivity in the business hub so perfect for remote working.

If you're a shy person, I can imagine it must be harder to join things but you do have to make the effort. Luckily, I've no worries in that regard.

Arse numbingly boring. I'm never going back.

Getting in vast quantities of everything is your friend in the sticks - I’ve got enough food to survive a nuclear fallout (not much variety after the first few weeks 😂 but nevertheless!) regular wine deliveries & log deliveries & job’s a good un!

Agreed a car is vital - the public transport around here has gone from hourly buses when I was teen to 2 or 3 per day (I moved away for Uni and only came back a couple of years ago) I drive but feel really sorry for anyone relying on local public transport now.

I work from home so even though a tiny amount of snow means being snowed in it doesn’t affect me (especially with the large wine/logs/food stashes). Was stranded for over 2 weeks during the Beast from the East and easily sat that out without running out of anything.

I’d say one of the biggest differences is going from 24/7 convenience to total inconvenience so being prepared and stockpiling becomes second nature. Or you could end up hungry, cold, sober and stranded.. quelle horreur!

I love living in the country- the stars, the scenery, the local food & drink producers, the people & the changing seasons. I would never move back to London or any city now!

Why is it a sign of innocence that your 10 year old does not know what sex is?

And believe me, my DP who was brought up very rurally had made the connection between what farm animals did and humans did long before 10.

Oh god, yes the lack of diversity.

DS is 10, loves school and has no idea what sex is other than maybe something farm animals do. Long may his innocence last.

That has nothing to do with rural living. Surely most parents have discussed this long before the age of 10, whether rural or not.

I grew up in a very rural area. My family were former city dwellers so we were always regarded as outsiders (and still are, 45 years later). Miles to the nearest shop, regular power outages, getting snowed in, etc... all those things you can get used to, but the thing I hated about it was the small-minded attitudes of the people, which still shocks me when I got back to visit (some of my family are still there).
As a teenager I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there, even though it meant I had to give up my beloved horses (which I still cry about now).

The stars at night are beautiful though…

We live in a lovely village, with a wonderful shop and pub. It is rural and not remote, it is ovley and quiet the dawn chorus including a cuckoo was amazing. Mostly pleasant retired people. Not takeaways so we go to one of the lovely numerous restaurants. People in shops around here are nice and love a chat, no diversity.

MN people would not like it.

It really depends on the individual. I love living in the middle of nowhere, walking my two dogs through parkland everyday, knowing many of the faces in the village, and feeling like we truly belong here. Having said that, my London friends whilst really enjoy visiting us, would feel suffocated if they lived her permanently which I fully understand. I wouldn't move now, I absolutely love it here.

I lived on the outskirts of a town. Going anywhere always involved getting into the car, school was a 15 minute drive away, children's dance class 30 minutes away, even the park was a 10 minute drive. My commute to work was on the bus and was a 30 minute walk to the bus station then an hours bus ride to my job in the nearest city. It was a lovely town but I'm much happier now living near a city, we have everything on our doorstep and ironically get out in the fresh air much more as so many parks are now within walking distance!

I live in Somerset in a rural village, five miles to closest town, just over an hours drive to the nearest city. On the plus side where I live is quiet, safe, no streetlights, no pavements all single land roads so you get very good at reversing!
On the negative for shopping you really want to go and touch and feel it is a whole day out. As for a
Concert or rugby international it is a very long very expensive day out or
an overnight stay.

My roots are rural. My mother was from a small village, she must v d to the city to find work as a teacher. Spent a lot the school holidays in the country. I enjoyed it but always knew I wouldn’t want to live there. We still holiday in some quite isolated cottages. But I think having to drive everywhere would drive me up the wall. And what happens should you become unable to drive for medical reasons? And what about access to hospitals and health care generally?

We have the best of both worlds I think. We live in a lovely quiet little village, but on a new build estate. Our house overlooks fields for miles, but the village school is a 3 minute walk into the village and local shop and pub are under 10 mins walk. Buses every hour to the market town, or further to a bigger town in either direction (about 45 kins by bus, but only 25ish drive). Train station in town, and plenty of shops. Massive tesco and Sainsburys, the biggest waitrose I've come across, leisure centre and children's centre, secondary school and a bunch of other primaries are all less than 10 minutes drive.

But if I turn left out of my front door and walk for 10 minutes, I'm in the middle of nowhere and it's glorious.

A lot of people work in the bigger towns nearby, and there are still plenty who commute into London (around 90 mins commute). I'm lucky enough to work in the village, and it's a 3 minute walk! I don't drive, although DH does and I manage just fine.

I grew up in London and moved to a small-ish town when DD was a baby. Then last year we moved here, and although I struggled initially, once I started work I soon made friends.

I'd go for an in between kind of place, not totally rural but a small rural village with good links is always a win if you're not sure.

I moved from London Zone 2 to a very rural part of Ireland. It was my intention to commute 45 mins drive to the nearest big town but that didn't work out (also 45 minutes hard driving on rural roads would be v tough). My oh works in tourism. I have three jobs. Two are hospitality (part time) and one is not tourism related. There are very few jobs not related to tourism so you d be kissing goodbye to the notion of weekends never mind bank holiday weekends. Everyone is on holiday but you are at your busiest and the kids are off school too!

Having said that, my children are growing up in a lovely place which they love. Everyone knows them and they have jobs as teenagers (being in a tourist area means all hands on deck during holiday periods) So they are getting more experience than they would if we lived in a city. They do seem to stay young longer (to me they seem quite innocent for their age but similar to their local peers). I spend a LOT of time on the road driving them and me everywhere. Our nearest hospital is 1+ hours away as are most regular amenities so we have to do that journey often. I know people who commute daily which I imagine is really tough.

Re jobs around here, well obvs hospitality, a lot of retirees, farmers and support industries like accountants, doctors, solicitors and so on. People tend to be very flexible and multi tasking. Everyone does what they can to make ends meet. We have no choice of schools (but are lucky as those on offer are fab). The community is small and supportive. I rarely go for a walk without meeting someone I know and stopping for a chat. I would not know them well enough to go to their house or even know their phone number but I would know enough about them to ask about kids, pets, job and so on.

It is a totally different way of life to a city life and as it was not my choice to come here I railed against it for the first ten years but have slowly come around to realising it's as good as any place to live if not possibly better.

I don't think you will know OP til you try.

I live in a rural area about 15 mins from the nearest town and 90 mins from a city. There's 2 types of rural. Even very rural areas will have towns where the supermarkets, hospitals, secondary schools, libraries, cinemas and jobs etc are. Live in one of those and it's fine! Buses and trains everywhere, all the small shops you'd need and a fair few places to work. We find you still need to go to a city or something for the "big" shops a couple of times a year, but that's fine, you just make a day out of it.

Then there's really rural. Think, the areas surrounding these rural towns. You can have villages with just a few people in them, and lone houses on roads that aren't even enough to be classed as villages. Nothing in walking distance, no buses, no parks, nothing. You might have a primary school in a mile or two distance but you really need to be relying on cars in these places. The rural town nearest to you is your local everything, so it can be a 10 mile drive just to get to the petrol station, post office, bank etc. And you're doing that drive there and back a few times a day if your kids and their activities are there. Prepare to live in your car and cry at the petrol prices.

But the downsides are outweighed by the good. I am baffled anybody chooses to live in cities. Here, it's so safe and friendly. Everybody knows each other just enough to keep you secure but not in each other's pockets - it's nothing like Emmerdale lol. Nobody locks their doors at night, children still play out like the old days, there is never any worry at all about knife crime, terrorism, gangs, muggings, etc. Of course we're not immune to crime, but put it this way - every single petty crime that happens makes the local paper so it's an unusual thing to happen. Our paper is literally about bikes being stolen, somebody beaten up on a Friday night, lost wallets and the like. It's lovely!

Most people who choose to go rural go the middle route - to a small rural town. It's the best of both worlds in my opinion.

I live in a rural County and in a rural village .I love it , born and bred here and fortunately able to buy a house here. I can walk out of the house and within a couple of minutes i can walk my dogs in fields with beautiful views.Lovely village community and peaceful more animal noise than traffic noise.Fantastic small village primary where the teachers are fantastic and know each child by name .
The down side, no gas , village to small so high electric bill .Public transport finishes early evening , none on a Sunday so you learn to drive soon as you can and you have to travel to the nearest decent size town and houses are expensive , lot of first time buyers are forced out .But i love it , my DC's love it so i have no intention of moving , a city would be too loud and busy for me .

I grew up in a small town in a remote area - 4 hours by train, or 2.5 hours by car to the next major town. After the age of about 12, I hated it. Very little to do as a teenager, public transport very infrequent, terrible weather at any time of year. There is spectacular scenery and it can be wonderful if you are an outdoor kind of person. I moved away as most of my friends did. Some moved back and absolutely love it. I go back for visits but after less than a week I’m chewing my elbows off to get back to a city.

My DP was brought up in a rural area, 20 mins drive to the nearest tiny village, and about 90 mins plus drive to the nearest town. He says he would never live rurally again.