To ask what it’s really like to live rurally?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Currently holidaying in the Lake District and as usual wishing I could up sticks from London and move to somewhere beautiful and with real community. But having grown up on the edge of London I’m so used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes, 24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away, lots of jobs, lots of schools, I know I really have no idea what it would be like to live in the countryside. I’m definitely in a nice, more affluent part of the countryside right now and there will be areas far more rural than this, so trying to think broadly, I know not everywhere will be the same.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities. Where I am now I’d guess a lot of farmers and a lot in hospitality, but that can’t be all. What’s the transport like? Does it matter? How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

A broad question I know but there’s such a range of places that will all be different, but would love the real story instead of just the ‘holiday’ view of the country.

Disclaimer: I’m aware as a born and bred Londoner my concept of what is rural might be really wrong, and that I also very likely have some rose tinted views of the countryside. I’m not trying to offend, so please be kind, I’m genuinely trying to learn!

A lot of people work at BAE in Barrow, or Sellafield.

You could go for semi rural and live near one of the train lines so somewhere near Oxenholme (you could be at Euston in just over 2.5 hours) or somewhere along the Lancaster to Barrow line. That way you could still reasonably commute to Lancaster or Preston for work. I lived up there for a bit and really miss having such great hikes on my doorstep.

I also miss being able to breath clean air and see the stars at night.

I grew up rural. Honestly as a teenager before you can drive you’re stuck - it’s like prison 😂

Amazingly the broadband back home is now better than mine in central London thanks to rural broadband initiatives up there. It’s also beautiful, peaceful, full of nature and people generally help eachother out.

But as PPs have said, everyone knows and wants to know your business, there’s no phone reception, if it snows you’re fucked - and the silence at night is weirdly deafening 😂

I live in Canada and have lived and worked in some VERY rural areas. (As in, the nearest substantial community is about 75 miles away or accessible only by plane type of rural.)

Exactly what people do depends on the community. In some rural communities, you'll find a number of farmers and tradespeople. (Some tradespeople, such as mechanics, actually have their shop right on their property if it is large enough.) There are usually a fair number of small businesses, and people will be employed there. Of course there is always work in health care. (This is why I lived in these remote communities - I worked as a nurse.) Around here, some communities develop around oilfields. The rigs employ many workers, and they are often bussed or flown in from other communities.

If you go into very northern Canada, most people probably don't "work" the way the Canada Revenue Agency defines "work" (I.e. they do not have a steady income). But they are very productive. They fish, they trap, they go out on the land to hunt (I.e. leave the community and camp on the tundra), they create. Indigenous art is often very beautiful and carvings and crafts can fetch high prices. I was privileged to meet some famous Inuit artists when I worked in one northern community.

I was brought up rurally - nearest village about 2 miles away, nearest town/schools etc 10 miles away, nearest city with clothes shops etc about 25 miles away. We had a lot of freedom, just used to wander off to play all day in the fields and woods around. But had absolutely no road sense or any idea of city living/noise levels. We were self sufficient too, electricity and water but no mains gas, sewerage. We grew all our own food and shared/handed down clothes with neighbours. Looking back I wish I'd appreciated it more.

You have to drive. Everywhere. All the time. No jobs means you commute. It also means you never get to see the beautiful scenery or enjoy the peace cause you’re forever bloody driving somewhere. You need serious money, for a car, petrol, bulk buys and a mortgage.

I go walking now more often than when I did living in the middle arse of nowhere. I cycle everywhere, I gained 2 hours a day back by not commuting anymore. I don’t spend hours in the car either shopping, ferrying DD, going to see a play/exhibition.
Nah, not for me, I did the quaint village thing for 20 years, I wasn’t happy.

Forgive me, I haven't read every page of the thread so I've missed if anyone's mentioned this, but a big down side of living very rurally is how you cope when you're elderly or disabled. I grew up in a very rural part of north Wales, and my parents still live there and are now in their 70s, with my dad being disabled.

Along with all the other downside related to having to drive everywhe etc, as people have mentioned, if you're disabled or have mobility problems, you can't just pop along the road to the shops on your scooter. You may not be able to get out of the house because chances are there are steps and rough ground everywhere. Chances are your house is a very old cottage with steep stairs you can't manage, and that care workers won't drive down your rural lane because it's too rough and potholey and hasn't been tarmaced. Or that you have to travel 30 miles or more for every hospital check up or medical appointment.

You also need a good level of knowledge and ability in terms of chopping up fallen trees, rebuilding collapsed walls, digging out flooded ditches, chasing sheep and goats out of gardens, chasing blowaway wheelie bins down a field, and putting guttering back up.

I'm in Somerset and moved there from the home counties 15 years ago.

Public transport is always late and expensive.

Nearest park is over a mile away

Only 2 choices for primary school and 1 for secondary.

Nearest big supermarket is 5 miles away.

I love living here though, we have a big house with a huge garden for a similar price to a 1 bedroom flat where I used to live.

I used to live VERY rurally, I know allot about it.

It wasn't the right lifestyle for me. Being so far away from the hospital and shops was a bad choice and home delivery always came late.

Every trip for us was tiring and costly (because of fuel). Once we went somewhere and came back home we didn't go out again for a day or two, sometimes up to four days.

Meeting up with friends required months in advance planning.

I was always dreading knowing I had to go somewhere and do something because of no energy as I had to use it all on every trip and every time we went somewhere it was hours long road trips and keeping kids entertained while travelling is difficult and dangerous.

Made me move house to somewhere closer to things.

I live on a small village near a market town. About an hours drive to the nearest city.

It's pretty, clean and crime is very very low. It's also frequently dull, everyone knows everyone else's business and in the winter the place feels desolate.

and with real community = everyone knows everyone else, knows (or thinks they do) everyone's business and judges! You have to be VERY careful what you say to who if you're not a local as any perceived criticism of the area or the people can cause ructions, also because you then learn (in my case usually via FB) that the person you were criticising person B to is person A's sister in law/cousin/husbands ex wife and you've added fuel to an already raging fire OR put yourself on the outs

used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes haha yea try one an hour mon-fri between 8-6 excepting bank holidays, high days and holidays where you're lucky if they're running at all! Constant timetable changes & routes cut that are poorly advertised too.

24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away yea try a 45 min drive or for our "local" islanders 30 mins island side, then a ferry, then 40 mins on mainland. Hence why they shop once a month in a van and stock up.

"What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities" erm actually yes they do! My nearest city 1hr by fast train and plenty locals work there. 1 friend of mine also cycles 40 mins to train then 20 mins at other end too. Local jobs are few and far between. Average number of applicants per job - over 300.

How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? parents drive, lots of sleepovers to save on petrol/taxis, arrangements carefully made and generally stuck to/not changed last min

Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities? happy? Possibly - if they're realistic, resilient and practical types. Accepted? Rarely. My parents have lived in their village almost 30 years they're still referred to as "those new folk" 😂

I'm in west Scotland

summer = wet, windy, muddy with occasional blasts of heat accompanied by swarms of midges, often ended by a thunderstorm.

Winter = snow to point of some being regularly snowed in, ice, heavy rain, high winds. Buses & trains often cancelled as a result and businesses closed. Perfectly normal here to prep for winter with food stocks, candles, bottled water etc

You really are better off driving and a 4wd is largely a necessity at least for winter.

Magmatic80 sorry but I'd not class that as "rural"

I hate it and wish I'd not moved here (long story why) and I wasn't a city person but from a small town. Far more cpns than pros in my opinion.

ShinyMe our villagahes are heavily weighted towards really quite elderly. A good number of disabled too. In our tiny village we have neighbours in late 80s who walk a few miles each day, clear the pond with everyone else, help with church cleaning and flowers etc. They are kept an eye on and helped if they’re unwell. They still have supper parties but we all take a course each and just eat at their house.

A 96 year old neighbour doesn’t like going out at night now but she always has an invitation to Sunday Lunch with someone and gets taken a hot meal by somebody each evening. She is driven to events and seated at drinks parties etc. The joy of community is a lack of isolation for the elderly.
In general because we’ve known everyone for years, were tolerant of ageing and ill health. People aren’t excluded.
Yes their houses are sometimes less than ideal - huge great Georgian rectories and farmhouses that are too much realistically but it’s their homes.

I'd say biggest challenge is lack of decent broadband, given all the incentives to do everything online from banking to VAT making tax digital.

@CherryPavlova I'm in Sussex, too, but on the edge of a small town. Despite it being something of a commuter town, you still get cut off if there's any snow worth speaking of unless you have a 4x4. The fekking council won't grit the steep hill up to where we live, despite it being a bus route. It's only 1 bus an hour, first at 8.30-ish and the last one back just after 5.30, so the bus is no use at all to commuters.

The people who live at the bottom end of town don't get off, but there are quite a few streets that are prone to flooding, which is probably worse.

My mate moved to North Yorkshire, properly rural. She was slightly shocked to discover it was almost 50 miles to the nearest M&S. Needing a new bra becomes something of major expedition when it's a 100 mile round trip to M&S or a department store. She's a nurse and her DH is a police officer (we call them the Heartbeats) so they had no trouble getting jobs.

It took them a while to get themselves organised, but after a few long drives to the nearest petrol station shop when they ran out of milk or bog roll, they soon got the hang of it (huge chest freezer and loads of essentials stockpiled in the garage, plus lots of wood for the woodburner). They've been snowed in, but only ever for a couple of days; a neighbouring farmer clears the lane.

Since the neighbours have found out she's a nurse, their house has become an unofficial minor injuries unit. People are always popping round to get injuries checked over or for her to look at a child's sore throat. She quite likes this, and it means they don't feel bad about asking for help if/when they need it.

Their kids are grown up, so schools aren't an issue, and they like the fact that when the kids visit, it tends to be for several days, as it's such a long way.

They've found some things expensive: they switched from oil to LPG, because it's cheaper, but they hadn't banked on it costing a few hundred to have their septic tank emptied, plus they spend a lot more on motoring, because they have longer commutes. But they also save money on clothes, because there's no pressure to dress up, and get gifts of eggs, veg, etc.

Anyone else reading this thread and realising they would hate to live properly rurally?! I like city life or at least having it nearby! Definitely got the best of both worlds here. I get really restless/itchy if I'm at my in laws for more than a couple of days. And I'm an introvert who's happy with my own company most of the time!

@LakieLady I have a sneaking suspicion I know what town you're talking about.

LakieLady Yes we do get free fruit, veg, chutney and jams etc. But then I give lots away too.
We’ve an emergency department consultant close by and his kitchen is often an impromptu minor injuries unit.
We rarely dress up outside of work clothes.
We’re quite high on Downs so no great flooding risk thank goodness.

@CherryPavlova I'd class that as semi rural to be honest, and yes, it's nice when there is a sense of community. Where my parents are is very properly rural, out in the sticks with no other houses in the near vicinity and the nearest village about three miles away with very steep hills. They manage, as my mother is fit and well and drives, but if my dad was on his own there he would not manage.

They also don't have any huge Georgian rectories around sadly, but tiny damp Welsh cottages surrounded by muddy fields and steep footpaths, so not easy to walk around if you're not fit and well.

I’m never bored, I love the peace! We do have excellent broadband now but that is recent.
I’m happy enough snowed in, we prep for it. Our old house was on oil (no gas here) but now we are on air source heating and we also have a woodburner so if the power goes off we don’t freeze.
I hate shopping so lack of shops isn’t an issue. I ride, walk, spend time in the pub.
I like to visit the cities now and again but am always massively relieved to get home, lock the gates and ignore the world!
But I am an unsociable old bint

I was born in Bristol, Uni then work in London and latterly lived/worked in Milton Keynes for years. I’d never, ever go back to a town or city. I like dark skies and no noise.

I grew up in a really remote place and it was a bit rubbish for kids. We had to rely on our parents driving us everywhere so learned to drive very quickly.

As there was literally nothing for us to do, we had to make our own entertainment and that’s not really what you want a bunch of hormonal teenagers doing!

Public transport is almost non-existant. Londoners cannot even begin to imagine how poor it is. Consequently, everyone relies on their cars to get everywhere. Two cars are an absolute necessity for most households.

The closest 24 hour mega-Supermarket is in the big town 10 miles away. The closest 6am-midnight Tesco Express is 5 miles away, so if you’re cooking the dinner and realise you need onions or a lemon, it’s a 10 mile drive to get them, so you plan head.

I’ve lived all over and really rural is lovely but needs planning for everything, you can’t just nip to the shop if you run out of milk and it can be boring with not much to do and lots of planning and time needed to do anything really.
I don’t like cities and big towns but my favourite area is a market town where everything isn’t too far away but it’s still quiet and in the countryside

I grew up in a really remote place and it was a bit rubbish for kids

I think that's true for a lot of children who grew up rurally. It seems like an idyllic childhood. Adventures in the great outdoors, playing out with friends all day, however, the reality is often the complete opposite.

You have to drive everywhere as there is no public transport. We have very expensive satellite broadband. Very dark and muddy in winter, no one grits our roads when it snows so I am always finding cars in my fields that have come off the road. But I have several hundred acres of woodland outside my back door and can walk the dogs or ride my horse for miles without going on the road. It is really beautiful here and I don't miss living in a city

We live in Cornwall so pretty rural. Nearest town is about 30 mins away, nearest city is 1 hour away.
Most of my friends DH's and my DH tend to work away mon-thurs as there is virtually no well paid work locally so there really is a sense of community amongst us all. Public transport and entertainment is practically non-existent so social life revolves around the local or going over to friends / family. More often than not, sleeping over too! The kids love it - this weekend we had a BBQ on the beach and then back to ours for rounders in the garden with 11 kids and friends.

I do all shopping on line, kindle for books and we tend to organise trips away 3-4 times a year far in advance as it can often take 2 hours to get out of the county. Most kids (and adults) surf or sail at least a few evenings week after school and then hang out at the surf club.
I lived away in London and Birmingham for a number of years but love being back. I find people have time to stop and enjoy life.