To ask what it’s really like to live rurally?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Currently holidaying in the Lake District and as usual wishing I could up sticks from London and move to somewhere beautiful and with real community. But having grown up on the edge of London I’m so used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes, 24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away, lots of jobs, lots of schools, I know I really have no idea what it would be like to live in the countryside. I’m definitely in a nice, more affluent part of the countryside right now and there will be areas far more rural than this, so trying to think broadly, I know not everywhere will be the same.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities. Where I am now I’d guess a lot of farmers and a lot in hospitality, but that can’t be all. What’s the transport like? Does it matter? How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

A broad question I know but there’s such a range of places that will all be different, but would love the real story instead of just the ‘holiday’ view of the country.

Disclaimer: I’m aware as a born and bred Londoner my concept of what is rural might be really wrong, and that I also very likely have some rose tinted views of the countryside. I’m not trying to offend, so please be kind, I’m genuinely trying to learn!

I live in a very rural area of Scotland (island) not much phone signal, or broadband, only one 'supermarket' if you can call it that, i work in a tourist destination and my partner works for the local ferry. The schools are tiny but amazing. Unless you are outdoorsy there really isn't much to do. In the winter it's good and bad quiet from the tourism but everywhere closed, summer is great. It can be really expensive aswell just our average food shop is more than double what it was before, we moved from Glasgow.
It is a real reality check, simple things you took for granted such as take aways and Ubers etc.
Community feel is great and everyone knows you and says hello but flip side everyone knows you and your business

I live somewhere like @hellodarkness. Town of about 15,000 with good train links to nearest city. Close to airport. I don't tend to think its rural here but a friend from SE London pointed out that we'd had sheep wandering down our road when she visited (they had strayed off the moor). Because we're in a town, I'm hoping there will be a bit less of the taxi service needed when the DC become teens, but as our eldest is only 10, we'll have to see. Used to live in E8 and loved it but love where I am now.

We also considered moving to the Lake District however after spending Easter there this year I've totally changed my mind, we've never been on a bank holiday before and it was chaos.

We stayed a few miles from Keswick in a tiny village named Stair which is undeniably stunning however it took almost half an hour of nose to tail traffic queuing through lanes and Portinscale to drive to Booths in Keswick.
When we got there it was heaving, you couldn't get to the shelves without being bumped into and most of the shelves were half empty.

Yes I'm a tourist but I hate tourists when I'm on holiday

I lost count of how many selfish idiots had blocked the gates to farmers fields or double parked down narrow lanes making it virtually impossible to get through.

I was talking to the owner of the cottage we hired and he said it's like that in all the main holidays and causes so much stress to the locals trying to get to and from work.
It was in the local news that a bus had taken 2.5 hours to do a 30 minute journey.

We live in North Yorkshire. Not super rural, but the buses are 5 times a day and there's no village shop/post office/pub. However it's a 15 minute drive to the centre of York and there's a co-op under ten minutes' drive away too.

I really like it as a halfway house to proper rural. But we had a hell of a time with MIL when we first moved here.

"I will take DGD to the shops when I visit you!"

• "MIL, there are no shops in the village."

"Well, I will take her to the post office shop!"

• "MIL, there is no post office."

"Then I will take her to the playground!"

• "There is no playground."

"Then I'll take her to the pub garden!"

• "No pub."

"Then ... I'll walk her round the streets!"

• "There's only one street."

She still turned up the first time, looked expectant, and said "so which way is it to the shop then?"

It took quite some time, some driving up and down and some explaining, to assure her that there really wasn't a shop, pub, or anything where you could buy things, except the honesty box where someone sells eggs.

I live very rurally and am struggling if I am honest. Where we live is very beautiful, we work from home so commutes etc are not an issue. The kids have settled very well and really love it and we ride so we do have a country lifestyle and are very rarely bored. However, I haven't made any friends yet and I am suffering a little from the social isolation. I have tried to join in, I go to events with the girls and I have tried volunteering. Everyone is very pleasant but no one accepts invitations to socialise and I am not invited anywhere. Perhaps it is just me! [grins] Yes to the having to drive for hours for takeaways and the crap broadband and the mud but I put up with a lot less anti social behaviour day to day and that has really improved my stress levels!

It's quiet. I don't live in the LD, but a small town not far away. After about 6 you don't hear a thing. You want to go somewhere (cabin fever is a thing) it's by car or the hourly buses. For young kids it's wonderful, teenagers hate it (but weirdly rarely move away) That said, we have three outstanding undersubscribed primaries and our secondary is on its way to outstanding. Property prices are reasonable. And the walks on my doorstep are stunning. Would I move back to a city? Well now I have no links to it, so probably not, but I still miss it. (Dh now hates cities and finds even Newcastle too busy)

And everything Krusty said. It's hella lonely.

I love it but then I grew up rurally too.

I must admit it was incredibly hard commuting 2 hours into the nearest City for work. I have been incredibly lucky to now find a very rare job doing the same thing as before but 10 minutes away instead but as I say, that is rare. I would say still worth it if you had to commute but hard. It makes your working week feel a hell of a lot longer.

If you love walking and the outdoors it's perfect. Our dog is our hobby so we make our own fun going on adventures with him at the weekends. There's not much of anything else to do really unless you want to travel somewhere but the walks and views are absolutely beautiful and I wouldn't trade it to be closer to the 'buzz'.

I'd say you may struggle if you don't drive. You'd be pretty cut off. Although it probably wouldn't make a difference in the Winter. When we had the Beast from the East last year, I couldn't walk down my lane without getting completely stuck, up to my waist in some of the drifts!

My DHs kids don't do badly, the local school is pretty close by and their friends are mainly within decent walking distance although we do drive so don't have to worry about that as such.

In short, I love our little cottage in the middle of no where, I'd never trade it for anything. Although it's not the best if you're a horror film fanatic. It's a bit spooky knowing there isn't really anyone about if Michael Myers turned up

@Cherylshaw do you live on Arran ? I was born there

@BuffaloCauliflour

I live fairly rural - about 5 miles from a market town, (15 minutes drive,) and about 10 mins walk from a river and big woodlands. It's a small to medium sized village, with about 750 people, a Church, 2 pubs, a primary school, a little shop open from 8am til 5pm, (8am til midday at the weekend,) and a bus to the town every half hour. There are lots of little hobby groups, a strong Church community, activities for the elderly - and the young - and pub quizzes and live bands and singers at the pubs every other week. The neighbours are lovely, the village folk were very welcoming when we moved in 7 years ago, crime is almost non-existent, and we have never been happier ANYwhere.

Used to live in a suburb of a city - in the midlands - and there was no sense of community, people were offhand and hostile, we knew no-one in our cul de sac of 48 houses, except the 3 or 4 families living next door each side and directly opposite, and there was nothing to do/no activities for anyone. We have 23 houses in the cul de sac we live in now, and know almost everyone in it. We have been invited to many barbecues and parties by people, and had people around for little get-togethers a few times.

Last summer we had a World Cup quarter final get together when England were playing, and there were about 65 people there. (13 or 14 family and friends, and around 50 people from the village!) Nothing like this ever happened before we lived here. As we got through to the semi finals, it was an EPIC and unforgettable afternoon.

I think it's more lonely and much less friendly in a big town or a city than it is in a village or small market town. I would never ever move now, not in a million years. I absolutely love it here. It's very picturesque, there are big valleys and woodlands within walking distance, and I have seen animals and birds that I had never seen before I moved here.

And the broadband is super fast. High speed broadband must not have arrived at the villages/rural areas of some posters here.

Oh and as for what jobs? We both work in the market town, 5 miles away. (30-35 mins on the bus with all he stops, or 15 minutes drive.)

Even when we lived in the city our jobs were around 4 or 5 miles away, and took 25 to 30 minutes to get there (in the car) some days, because of all the city traffic!

Have to admit, although they are pretty, I would not want to live in Cornwall or Devon.. Too far away from everything else in the country, too many tourists, and terrible roads. Same for Wales. Nice country, but poor employment prospects and poor public transport (over most of it...)

We live fairly rural, but still fairly close to really good transport links.

@Adaline And yes, living 4 or 5 miles or 15 minutes drive from a town is still 'rural.' You are confusing rural with 'remote.'

It’s very boring. Luckily we’re not too far from a few cities but it’s a task getting there without a car. Drab scenery, everything’s brown, there’s no colour at all in my town! The sight of skyscrapers, street art and bright lights is very comforting to me. Envious of anyone that lives in a city!

I think lonely depends more on the local community than how rural you are.

I used to live in a village that was as close as you could possibly get to the local town without being the local town. Buses every 15 minutes to town centre, village shop, three pubs. The only person I got to know in over a year was a woman who worked in the same place as me anyway. Everyone else couldn't be bothered. I'd try to chat and go along to things and nothing.

Whereas here, we are definitely more rural and yet there's a really strong community. We only moved a year ago and people do things like popping your recycling bins in if you happen to be away, or bringing gluts of fruit and veg.

It depends. If you live somewhere close to a market town, fine. But truly rural is IMO tough. I have family living truly rurally. They pay a lot more for everything. Oil filled radiators, septic tanks, nearest local shop is expensive, unless you have family, childcare is very difficult to find and usually little choice, trades people are more expensive.

If it is a village with incomers, yes you can be accepted. This includes most tourist places, so LD should be fine. But there are still places where if your GPs were not born there, you will struggle to be accepted, especially if you are better off than most local people.

In the LD I suspect a lot of people will be employed in seasonal tourist trade.

Also agree 'rural' and 'remote' are different. I'd say if you're surrounded by farmland for miles, that's rural.

We are 99% certain that we're going to move back to the large village where I grew up next year.

Work-wise I am going to stop work for a couple of years to do the childcare (there are no childminders or nurseries) whilst DH does contract jobs where he works from home a bit and is away a bit. Once we pay our mortgage off we should be able to reverse those roles.

It gets busy in the summer. It's miles from anywhere.

But DS will grow up by the sea, have more freedom and a closer community.

@CherryPavlova where do you live (even approximate county)? It sounds great! You could wake up and find the whole of MN living beside you!

Didn’t think about the people. Second a PP that residents in my rural town are very rude and territorial, most are anti-social and disrespectful of neighbours. Always in each others business and nosey. Can’t remember a time my neighbour came home without staring into my living room window. I’ve lived in two properties since moving out as a teen and in both of them I’ve experienced trespass and criminal damage of my gardens. It happened whilst they were ‘carrying out repairs’ but I doesn’t take a few mins to let someone know you’re going to be in their garden. I’m not unlucky, most people in my town have no sense of how to live amicably with others. I feel living in cities you deal with more people on a daily basis so you’re used to it. Mavis (not actual name) next door however hisses if anyone so much as walks past her house

Krusty I had the same experience as you, you try to build a social life but ended up feeling very lonely and left out.

Moved to Wales from London 30 years ago, initially to a very rural smallholding, half way up a mountain. Ex used to have an hour's commute by train to work.No mains gas, no mains water. Had to put CH in the house. No buses so needed 2 cars. Had to ferry children to and from school. At first I stayed home ( 3 kids, sheep chickens, dogs, cats ) but post divorce had to find paid work - managed to find P/T but quite a lot of travelling involved and much lower pay than in London. Not much choice of schools; all 3 went to village school then local "bog standard" comp, but all did OK. None of them live near by now though because there isn't the work. Eventually moved to small village and now bigger village. I prefer village life - it's a bind having to drive everywhere and constantly ferry children around. It took a long time to make the kind of close friends I'd had in London, but have now done so - I'm not a natural "joiner" but you have to be in order to meet a range of people. Shopping and fuel probably more expensive. but beautiful scenery, clean air, healthier lifestyle. You need to be willing to put up with the downside and to be able to be quite self sufficient - depending on just how rural you go!

I grew up in a tiny town/large village. I was amazed when I went to London and people just went out for a bus and waited for it to come, instead of looking at a timetable. I was used to very scarce public transport. My mum got a taxi to work as she could not drive.

I think in a small place you have to fit in. So you have to be similar to the type of people living there. It is why so many people who don't fit into small villages/towns, move to London or another big City, the first chance they get.

Also rural places can be very tough once you get too old to drive. Even getting to the Dr becomes either very expensive with taxis (if they exist), or you have to rely on lifts. My brother used to visit an elderly lady who lived outside a village near him once a week and do any jobs she needed. He was often the only person she saw all week as she was not very mobile. In a town she would have been able to get out and about much more easily.

You have more anonymity in the city. In the countryside you live in the pockets of a handful of neighbours. Ok if you get on....

I spent my childhood in a very remote area, hardly any neighbours, 3 miles to a bus stop, 10 miles to school. I had no social life and I am really sad that I don’t have any memories of just hanging out with mates as a child. I now live in a medium sized town and would never inflict country living on my children.

I agree that if you live in a proper village, and by that I mean not a village full of well off people who commute out every day, then people are usually much more nosy and gossipy. I know one of my relatives found this very hard. Basically the whole village seemed to know about the domestic violence she suffered and her subsequent divorce. And even if you don't tell them anything, they seem to just make it up!

If you have kids I would also be aware of the choice of work, otherwise they will probably have to move away to get work.

Oh jobs - nothing other than farming one place i lived, farming and hospitality current place. Its a real issue.

In the winter it's good and bad quiet from the tourism but everywhere closed

This was my biggest problem. It was frustrating as winter is the time you want indoor activities and events, and there just weren't any. The beach is lovely, but the excitement of having one within walking distance wears off pretty quickly.