To ask what it’s really like to live rurally?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Currently holidaying in the Lake District and as usual wishing I could up sticks from London and move to somewhere beautiful and with real community. But having grown up on the edge of London I’m so used to a world where there’s buses every 10 minutes, 24 hour supermarkets 5 minutes away, lots of jobs, lots of schools, I know I really have no idea what it would be like to live in the countryside. I’m definitely in a nice, more affluent part of the countryside right now and there will be areas far more rural than this, so trying to think broadly, I know not everywhere will be the same.

What jobs do people do? Everyone surely can’t commute miles and miles to cities. Where I am now I’d guess a lot of farmers and a lot in hospitality, but that can’t be all. What’s the transport like? Does it matter? How do your kids get to see their friends when they don’t drive and everyone’s houses are so far apart? Can people move from the city and be happy, and accepted into small village communities?

A broad question I know but there’s such a range of places that will all be different, but would love the real story instead of just the ‘holiday’ view of the country.

Disclaimer: I’m aware as a born and bred Londoner my concept of what is rural might be really wrong, and that I also very likely have some rose tinted views of the countryside. I’m not trying to offend, so please be kind, I’m genuinely trying to learn!

The most annoying thing for me is no takeaways deliver to us.

We love living rurally. We’re about ten miles from town and four miles from the village shop.
What jobs? A mixture depending on age etc. Many early retired city folk. GPs and Medical consultants, headteachers from state and independent schools, military officers, lots of banker/venture capitalists second home owners, a few successful artists and a film producer. Barristers and a judge or two. A couple of reasonably well known tv types. Landowners, shepherds, farmhands, tree surgeon, florist, caterer, a teaching assistant, a vicar and her husband, a retired bishop, a wine importer. Many of us work partly from home and commute sometimes.

There is one bus a week from a nearby village. We all drive including the octogenarians. Children all grow up very close to each other and know everyone. Social life is less divided by age. Youngsters and old folk share parties. Many - or even most - children board or if not, travel on school minibuses. Local state school has transport used by less affluent locals. Friends stay over often. We don’t do ‘hanging around in town’. I don’t know anyone that does. The children used to cycle to friends places, sometimes stay over and just play tennis, swim, shoot etc. There was lots of ferrying around to activities.

Social life is good - if slightly odd sometimes. Safari supper twice a year, wine tasting evening twice a year, tennis league, book club, Octoberfest and Flamenco nights. Bell ringing, choir, Drink and Draw, Rounders match, cricket matches, picnics, Carol singing etc. Lots of formal and informal supper parties.
Ours are very small communities so everyone knows everybody else and there is no privacy at all. No locked doors. People walk into houses with barely a knock. The elderly are cared for by all and included when events are suitable.

Love the lakes but you don't need to move that far for glorious!! This is the view from where I'm typing.. literally my back doorstep..

Civil servant.. work at any local office or from home.
Pretty good salary of £40k .. could earn more if wanted a 50 minute commute but my quality of life is more important. Not to mention they London makes my skin crawl ... fgs ALL THOSE PEOPLE!!
3 miles to town. Bus outside the door for teenagers, great fibre optic broadband, and fabulous schools.

Actually hellodarkness you're right! Forgot about that - no bloody takeaways delivered! V good local fish n chips shop though but everything else is a drive. Nothing beats watching the morning mist rise out of the woods in spring when I go to work though....

Depends what you want, but many visits to friends in rural north Devon cured me forever of wanting to live in the country. You needed the car for absolutely everything - even to take the dogs for a walk anywhere they could safely be let off the lead. (Very narrow lanes with the odd boy racer, sheep in fields, etc...)
It was far easier for said friends to walk their dogs when staying with us in SW London, which sounds crazy, I know.

I think it'd be a nightmare with older children (assuming the usual rubbish public transport that's the norm in rural areas) - you'd spend half your life running a taxi service for them.

Each to their own, but never for me, thanks. Though a sister has the best of both worlds - tucked away in a quiet corner of a small Yorkshire Dales town - a 2 minute walk to the High St - a 5 minute walk and you're on the fells.

I volunteer rurally. And if I go into the area on my own business, my car is noted, and next time I volunteer "Noticed your car parked up at ... on Thursday" or "Saw you walking over ...". Everyone knows everyone- and not just within a mile or two, all the way up the valley and in to the next valley.

A local had some stone stolen last year. He knew who did it - he saw it in their yard. But eventually decided against reporting it because it would be obvious who had, and the guy had a reputation for nasty retaliation. It's not all sweetness and light.

Yes of course you will be accepted by the locals if you move to the countryside. On two conditions.

1. You give way to horses and riders on the road, and don't drive like a twat in a 4x4 just because you've got one. Nobody will be impressed, as they've all got one too.

1. You don't complain to the parish council about the 500-year-old church bells keeping you awake all night.

I moved to rural Cornwall last year. I had wanted to all my life. Several months on, and I am so depressed. I can barely type this message, as I find it so hard to, such is how down I feel. I can barely do anything, and don't want to eat. I had holidayed for most of my life here in Cornwall, and at different times of the year, so I knew what to expect. I live in the most beautiful house, next to the sea, in the most beautiful of countryside. Everything should be perfect, but this is hell almost. I am so isolated. I cannot even find a part time job. I see no one most days. I have spent most of today crying. I am surrounded by fields but most of them are padlocked, so cannot walk through them. So many other people apply for the same jobs. I love the scenery, but I now realise, there is more to life than scenery.I may move back to where I lived before. It has nothing on Cornwall, but I felt happier there in many ways.

There’s definitely rural and ... rural

The PP who lives in a market town of 40,000 — I’d consider that to be urban, but it is all relative.

There’s a huge difference to living in a village with a pub, a shop Street lights, and a bus service, and living in a cottage surrounded by fields. The latter looks like the rural dream (and is often what those fleeing the city look for) the isolated cottage can be a bloody nightmare. Especially in winter. Mud, dark, power cuts....

The other consideration is how close to a big city and a motorway you are. I live at least an hour from both, and tbh and further would be a massive pain. That is another thing that really bothers new arrivals. They suddenly realise that the quick trip to visit relatives or go to a concert now needs an overnight stay.

We built a house in the very remote, rural, area where DHs family come from, with a view to eventually retiring there. That was nearly 20 years ago and retirement has gone from being a far distant prospect to something that will be with is very soon. We are both in total agreement we will not be living there full time.

The quiet and the views are lovely but having to drive everywhere is a total pain. I am used to jumping on a bus or train to go places. Not having many places even within driving distance is stultifying. If we drive the 50km to the nearest cinema / gym / shopping centre we will probably bump into 2 neighbours and a relation making the same trip because there are so few destinations in easy reach. If we don’t get down to the local shop within an hour or two of the bread/paper delivery we know there will be nothing left. Every bugger in a 20 mile radius knows your business. There is only one electrician/plumber/decorator etc for miles so there is no chance to negotiate a good price for jobs. You pay what they ask or go without.

Worst of all, within 72 hours of arriving there I go completely feral. The chic London me disappears and a hairy, unmade-up, door bell ignoring savage emerges.

No buses when you really need them. No pavements to walk anywhere, so you HAVE to drive.
Either work from home or work in other people's homes ( I'm a SE cleaner/gardener).
Internet is rubbish, can take days to catch up with Netflix as the broadband can't cope.
Shops are all at least 6 miles away, local shops don't even have fresh bread (all in the freezer).
But I put up with it all for the views (fields as far as you can see and a forest at the back), no noise or pollution.
Towns and cities make people fat and lazy, you have to work hard to live in the countryside.

Can I just say don’t get oil central heating!

@cherrypavlova where do you live? It sounds amazing!

There is a choice of one school.

You will be lucky if there is a bus every couple of hours. More often it is twice a day. One there, and the other one back again.

Ocado does not recognise your postcode.

There is no local takeaway and Deliveroo will say "Where???"

There will be no post office, no cash machine (and no shop to spend your money in anyway); the nearest doctor's surgery is 8 miles away and has a three-week waiting time for appointments. The nearest hospital can be reached in about 20 minutes. By helicopter. The vet, however can get to you pretty fast

@BuffaloCauliflower
For good reason, it’s bloody lovely! I moved up from the South East roughly 5 years ago. Would never go back. I have a horse though so was easy to slot in, its proper hunt country here which suits me down to the ground. DH grew up here too so no “fitting in” issues for us

To add to my above post. I lived in the countryside before I moved here, but it was more of a semi rural area. I now realise that scenery and the sea are not everything. I think being around people, having a job, being part of a community and not being isolated are what counts to being happy.

I grew up not only rurally but in a really remote area.
It was a 90 minute trip to school if I couldn’t get a lift.
Even now the nearest proper supermarket is an hour away.
Broadband/phone reception is non existent.

Kids who we’re into horses or YFA (I was horsey) all seemed to enjoy it. Those who weren’t were often bored and disappeared to Glasgow/Aberdeen as soon as they were old enough to.

Does anyone live in the Hebrides ?

South Downs. Tiny group of very small hamlets/villages but easy reach of London.

I lived rurally in Kent for a while. It was beautiful, and I didn't mind that we had a 15 mile drive to the station before we even started our one-and-a-half hour train and tube commute. What I did mind was that it was so difficult to actually get out and enjoy the country - it was all farmland around us with very little in the way of public footpaths, and narrow roads which you really didn't feel safe walking along.

Now I'm in a small town on the fringe of a city, and can walk from the house in three different directions, to park, nature reserve, or miles of wooded valley - none of the directions involving more than 50 yds of pavement walking.

No experience of it but I think I’d be ok as long as I could see the ocean. Maybe Cornwall?

No we don’t have mains gas, mains drains either. We have satellite broadband.
Logs are important to us all. Downside when it’s pouring is having to fetch logs in.

Londoner born and bred moved to rural location B.C. [Before children.]
Truthfully, it took us a couple of years to adjust - things like if you go to take your dog for a walk at 10.00pm on week nights in our village it is mostly in darkness as people seem to go to bed early and get up at the crack of dawn for work. The majority here are coming home from work at 4.30pm and have dinner around 5.30pm. We still haven't made those changes and eat around 8.00pm as we always have. In shops, assistants always like a chat - none of this take your money, shove it in a bag and next!
I can sit in my garden and hear nothing except birdsong. Beautiful countryside walks and everyone you pass says hello whether they know you or not. Just a much slower pace of life. Obviously, housing is cheaper as is the cost of most things compared to say London/Birmingham/Manchester The downside if there is one is that you really need to drive as public transport is dire - [don't think I've been on a bus for 40 years] and everything is therefore more difficult. You need to taxi DC's everywhere including school run due to aforementioned sparse public transport and accept that by 17 you will be desperate to pay for driving lessons/cars/insurance to get yourself off the hook! In the meantime you will have to commit to a LOT of ferrying for play dates/extra curricular/sleep overs etc. However you will have a much cheaper, quieter, gentler life overall. Also there is a distinct lack of culture in the countryside so if you're in to opera/theatre/art/museums etc that will require a lot more effort and travel. We don't have any regrets but will say that 3 of our 5 DD's have migrated to cities but love to come home at the weekends and seem to enjoy posting pics of cows walking through the village on their instagrams!

I wouldn't really count living within 5-10 minutes of a town with a 24h supermarket, cinema etc. to be rural tbh.

Being truly rural is being isolated in winter because the roads you need to drive on are often closed due to ice and snow for weeks on end. It's needing a car to even go and buy a pint of milk, otherwise it would take you at least an hour to walk it.

Our nearest 24h supermarket is nearly an hour away. Same with the nearest cinema or chain restaurant or bank. There's a train station and a bus stop here but neither of them run Sunday/BH services. Most public transport stops at 6pm and lots of services don't run at all in winter. If I was to try and get a bus to work, for example, I'd need to leave the night before (and would still arrive an hour late). If I wanted to get home from work in time for bed, I'd need to leave about three hours after I arrived!

You need a car - it's not possible to go without unless you have plenty of spare funds for taxis or you're happy to do practically all your shopping online. It can be isolating but often you just need to plan in advance.

I second the long drives to the supermarket, the village shop doesn’t do nappies (at least not good ones), so I end up having to do a 50 minute round trip to the 24 hr Asda at 3 in the morning most days.