People who look so polished ... How???

[birthdaymayhem]

Posting for traffic and maybe in the hopes of finding a wizard who can tell me how to achieve this.

So in my immediate circle of friends I know 2 couples who always look so polished and put together they could've jumped out of a Next catalogue!
For me it's like dark magic. They always have clean, ironed and up to date clothes.
Especially the ladies, hair always blow dried or very neat, ridiculously smooth skin even up close, and clothes which must've come out of the brand new next collection (they all dress in a very similar way).
None of them are "would look good in a bin bag and a pair of crocs" type of beautiful but they are just so well put together they always look amazing!

But how can you look so good, fresh and put together all the time with 2 or 3 small DCs in tow, a house and job and all the stuff that comes along with that?

My put together is clothes that passed the sniff test and makeup hastily slapped on whilst DCs are having breakfast before we are out of the door.

Haha I don't think I've looked polished in my life no matter how hard I've tried

I used to look polished (was told I'd look good in a bin bag) but I've put on 2 stone so not so much so, I wore well fitting clothes (Topshop skinny jeans and knitwear, Oasis dresses, suede boots) I wasn't over weight, I always did and do wear properly measured up bras, I've always had good skin and I wear good quality high end make up. My go to make up is foundation, high light concealer, slightly shimmery eye shadow, striking lip shade and a cream blush. My hair is a mess but it's a just got out of bed mess which I seem to carry off! 😂 Don't get me wrong I'm not the same bin bag going looking girl now but I do still put effort in. I'm pretty sure if I dropped 2 stone I'd once again be feeling pretty damn good! I think it helps that I'm 5'9 so when I'm slim it has extra impact.

This is so me! I look a mess all of the time which is fine - I have twin toddlers with disabilities and I wouldn’t dream of taking time away from them to beautify myself for no reason. Having said that, I have a big event coming up next Friday to prepare for, so I’m booking in for a facial, manicure and eyebrow shape when they’re at nursery on Monday.

I’ve just ordered a big hair which I’ll start practicing with today, and practice walking in heels too 😂

I’ve also ordered some new primer, powder and foundations (a few so I can see what works - no way can i go make up shopping!).

Going to do an intensive hair conditioning treatment a day or two before - I have some Olaplex but might try something else.

My skin is much better when I make a tiny bit of effort - cleanse twice a day, one or two products from the ordinary rubbed in then a moisturiser. A peel once a week helps improve my pores and I notice a real difference when I do it.

So I’m going to try very hard hard to become one of those people without actually having to do much upkeep

Clothes, I just deliberately buy clothes that don’t need ironing. Or they probably pay someone to iron for them.

You will look great SinkGirl, also for me I love getting dressed up, and more so now I'm a mum, when I had a FT job I'd always put the effort in to wear my contacts and wear make up, if I was stuck for time I'd do simple make up but a nice striking lipstick. I always run some curling cream through my hair too. Just to add, I don't really do jewelry, I'm all about coats and boots!

This thread has made me want to be the old me again, I feel like buying new clothes! 😂

To be fair I never made that much effort before kids, I worked in jobs where most of the time I didn’t have to be smart - but for several weeks a year I had to be in charge of a bunch of important people in fancy overseas locations, and it was fun to buy new clothes, wear make up every day, do my hair etc. Unfortunately I had to stop working years ago due to ME and other things, and that’s when I really stopped getting dressed up / wearing make up unless we were doing something nice.

Unfortunately these days I’m two dress sizes bigger and a much less pleasant shape, but hey... that’s ageing and motherhood for you!

I’m very excited about the new Mabelline Made for Everyone lipsticks I’ve bought - I’ve never been able to find a lipstick that suits me, and allegedly they’re designed to suit a wide range of skin tones. I’ve bought 3 and hope I can pull one of them off!

I've just bought 2 dresses from Benetton and the Maybeline city mini eyeshadow palette in 5th Avenue Sunset (golds, oranges and pinks) which are new colours for me personally and a hair dye as greys are showing. I may be a few stone bigger but I've still got it! Lol! Fake it till you make it I say!

I bought the big hair thing a while back but the sight of me trying to use the damn thing and not get completely tangled up in it was You’ve Been Framed gold. I looked a right state afterwards too - Frizz-o-Rama!

Needless to say, it’s been sitting in a drawer ever since. I need to have a couple more goes before I decide its fate.

My hair is frizz-prone curly though, so it probably just doesn’t suit my hair type.

It's just a question of priorities. Some people put a lot of time, energy and money into looking polished. Some people put that time into other things. Neither is right or wrong / just different
**
^This.

I'm well groomed and I have a very pretty friend who's not, in fact her look as well as her home can best be described as chaotic. But I'm so much more uptight and more of a control freak than her - her relaxed attitude extends beyond her looks, and I expect it does with other similar people.

Thank you so much @quirkychick and @mommybunny that's really kind of you both. You have both hit on a very good idea which I stupidly hadn't thought of. Trying on and choosing some outfits on the weekend is a good idea!! I have some hanging space so could kind of hang them together. It would save me so much stress on a morning! I reckon I'll try that tomorrow by letting my 1yr old play with my sock drawer and my 4yr old play on the iPad!

I've really struggled with self care since being a mum if I'm honest. It's not helped with my split abs issue as even 1 yr on I've got a 'bump' to hide and so have a massive pile of clothes on my bedroom floor and in my drawers that fit amazing before babies but don't fit now and I keep hoping they will fit me one day. It's really knocked my confidence. What's added to my unpolished look is also having to share room with the 1yr old as don't have anywhere to preen in evenings... I think you are right though, maybe I need to carve some time to do these things on the weekends so that I have more time to look a little better easier during the week!

Wish me luck!!

40andnotfabulous, but you will be fabulous! I think you just have to find ways to streamline your life with dcs.

40andnotfabulous I’m really, really glad a post of mine has helped you with your “polishing” concerns. Sometimes all it takes is someone from the outside seeing things that were right there in front of you, but because you’ve had to be so focused on putting one foot in front of the other dealing with DC4 and DC1 and job and home and everything else it’s been really hard to move the lens out and see them yourself.

I’m afraid I don’t have any advice about split abs- I don’t know if it is a temporary or permanent condition but with time, patience and a little careful planning you will get the wardrobe you deserve that makes you feel fabulous. Good luck! X

1. Be healthy (you have to take care of your skin, nails, hair, Wright, shape, etc)
2. Take care of the things you wear (ironed clothes, polished shoes etc)
3. Dress elegantly (stick to colours that and cuts that are simple and suit you. Keep patterns to a minimum, keep accessories to a minimum. Only wear neutral cosmetics-no unnatural colours-even nail polish, no unnatural effects like ott fake eyelashes, obviously fake nails, visible plastic surgery etc)
4. Posture-it doesn’t matter how well you put everything together if your nose is level with your knees you’ll look knackered.
5. Behaviour-you must be poised (self controlled-no fits of emotion, charming, polite, pleasant to be around and most importantly 100% self assured).

@LesserBohemiam I struggled the first few times as well but now it makes my naturally frizzy and thick hair look amazing. This is how I do it:

1. Let hair dry to about 80%
2. Our in a blow dry serum (I uses cheap one I got from super drug-this helps prevent frizz, catching and retains shape)
3. Comb through hair first
4. Put hair up (except a tiny bit at the bottom-way way less than you’d think, probably about the width of a drinking straw if you twist it together).
5. Comb through segment and divide in two.
6. Use the lowest rotating setting working your way up (start at the ends then slowly put through a longer section of hair each time)
7. Blast with cold setting (comb through itwsnt it straight, curl round it you want a curl to it).
8. Repeat. Spray on a tiny amount of water if your hair goes dry but only enough to make it slightly damp.

40andnotfabulous, I haven't got split abs but I tend to hold weight on my tum and don't have a very defined waist and that was before 2 c-sections! These are some things I find flattering for rounded tums, I hope they help a bit. Tops that hit your hips rather than your waist, shirt front (curved) hem tops, anything drapey or asymmetrical which draws the eye away from your waist/stomach, anything with ties, tying/knotting lower than your waist and to one side, again to draw the eye away. Layering tops can create the illusion of more of a waist too. It's really hard when dcs are so little and life is so full on.

.

I think some people are just naturally more attractive/polished etc

EG I saw a woman yesterday who looked beyond glamorous without any real effort - she was just wearing a long black dress with a leather jacket but she was v tall and slim so genuinely looked stunning - like a model, she looked ‘expensive’ if that makes sense? Like ultra glam, even though it was (probably) a casual moment for her

In comparison I’m short, so whilst I look okay and take care of myself etc, I’ll never look that glam in the same outfit!

hatemyhair I think looking effortless is a myth, usually it takes quite a bit of effort .The effort probably goes into getting the fundamentals right; haircare, skincare, choosing clothes that flatter, then it looks like you've just chucked it on and it just happens to look great.

I agree quirkychick

@quirkychick

Exactly
I put in the effort - hair cut and highlighted regularly
Nails done
Meticulous about skin
High end skincare and make up
Loads of thought before any purchase and tend to be Russell and Bromley and Anthropologie etc

This then means on a day to day basis - it is effortless. Just put on make up and open up wardrobe

thank you happytobemrsg and Schoolques.

I’ve decided to enlist a personal shopper’s help since it’s my clothes which let me down. Hair is fab when I wash it & make makeup is definitely getting there. I’ll be building a seasonal capsule wardrobe with them once DS2 is here & I'm back in shape - it’ll save me time in the mornings & give me a little something just for me. Really looking forward to it

Agree Quirky- it takes effort to look effortless

Definitely does take effort to look effortless - I agree with you all! The question is, is it worth it to you? For me, it makes a huge difference to how I feel about myself, so, yes! Sometimes, I’d love to just brush my hair and go, but I know I’d feel like crap an hour later, whereas if I put in 20 mins or so, I’ll feel on top of everything and have a better day!

I’m always amazed at how women come off the tube looking perfect and not all sweaty. I only wear my heels at work and wear flats on my commute but I see lots of women walking perfectly in heels! How do they do it?!