People who look so polished ... How???

[birthdaymayhem]

Posting for traffic and maybe in the hopes of finding a wizard who can tell me how to achieve this.

So in my immediate circle of friends I know 2 couples who always look so polished and put together they could've jumped out of a Next catalogue!
For me it's like dark magic. They always have clean, ironed and up to date clothes.
Especially the ladies, hair always blow dried or very neat, ridiculously smooth skin even up close, and clothes which must've come out of the brand new next collection (they all dress in a very similar way).
None of them are "would look good in a bin bag and a pair of crocs" type of beautiful but they are just so well put together they always look amazing!

But how can you look so good, fresh and put together all the time with 2 or 3 small DCs in tow, a house and job and all the stuff that comes along with that?

My put together is clothes that passed the sniff test and makeup hastily slapped on whilst DCs are having breakfast before we are out of the door.

I wish I was a neat and polished person. I'm a scruff bag no matter how hard I try.

What Id like is someone just to take all of my clothes, throw them away and put in a brand new wardrobe of easy to chuck on, easy to do stuff in but neat clothes.

Instead I rummage through and wear the same few items that don't fit well and have seen better days.

I also have hair that likes to stand on end and nails that always look moth eaten.

I don't know where to start. :(

I need to try DIY lashes! LetGuardDown do you have a link to the lashes you use? How long does it take to apply them?

40andnotfabulous that sounds stressful. Would it help to put clothes together in your wardrobe in outfits that work, so you can grab and go? If your weight's fluctuating you could separate out by size? I'm saying this as someone with a dd with sn, who was awake half the night, dp and I went out last night, so I wasn't exactly organised this morning. However, I grabbed a pair of loose trousers hanging up and a top from the drawer that are a tried and tested combination, added some accessories to hand and put on trainers by the door, so it took little time and brain power this morning. I also have long, thick curly hair and a c-section overhang, I often "refresh" my hair with water + products or put it up.

I'm one of those people who can spend ages getting ready and then within 10 minutes of arriving at work/event/wherever it's all come undone. I don't know how it happens! Do people who look polished constantly check their appearance throughout the day?

I do think though that in general it's proportionate to the time spent. I was in a meeting with a woman yesterday with immaculate hair, full face of makeup and she looked great. For a brief moment I thought I should try and be more like that but I value my sleep too much - even waking up 10-15 minutes early is a tough ask if it's just to do makeup

Lovely post quirkychick and just what I was going to say to 40andnotfabulous. I was also going to suggest taking some time each weekend, between 15 and 30 minutes, to choose all your outfits for the week. You can either get DC4 involved (fashion show!) or not (the ONE time each week Mummy’s phone is available to play a game?) as suits you if there is no DP to help.

You may already do this, but feel free to repeat items during the week if they fit and make you feel comfortable and confident wearing them - good fit and condition are far more important than variety.

The time you save each morning in not having to choose an outfit under high pressure conditions is time you can spend drying your hair and/or doing your makeup. No more bus lips !

Good luck 40andnotfabulous. This time won’t last forever, but if you give your DCs the example now of taking just a little time to look after yourself then honouring that time will become a habit for them and you.

Also it's not just the extra time each morning, it's the cumulative time and money you have to spend. I feel slightly resentful at how women are expected to spend so much of their income on their appearance. Manicures, pedicures, lashes, brows....all these things add up, even with DIY tricks. How much does the average man spend on his appearance, I wonder? Fair enough if women actually enjoy these things but I can't help but think of how successful consumer marketing to women has been which makes us believe we have to be plucked, poked and buffed within an inch of our lives!

It’s just truly amazing how half the world can get by with the bare minimum in terms of skincare and still not have to wear make up to look good isn’t it.

Do you mean men, who either exfoliate when they shave or cover half their face in a beard, Diana?!

I do dye my eyelashes (invisible otherwise tbh) but I have never tried false lashes

Bloody hell I don't know men who exfoliate when they shave. Maybe young men do this? But not men my age. The most they do is a bit of moisturiser on visibly dry skin.

The act of shaving exfoliates the cheeks and jaw.

Ok they shave, but that is it.
Although not convinced it exfoliates. The skin on my legs is always in better condition if I don't shave them for a while, than if I do.

claire my ex is nearly 60 - he exfoliates, has face masks, dyes his eyebrows, has facials, manicures and had Lazer hair removal on his back and chest. Not all men are the same - just as all women aren’t!

I know there are men who do this, but it is rare amongst the older age group.

My DH uses an expensive razor, wears moisturiser and likes an expensive aftershave. He often goes for a traditional Turkish shave with hot towels and a cut throat razor.

www.byrdie.com/average-cost-of-beauty-maintenance

"According to the study, the average woman spends about $313 per month on her appearance. This adds up to $3756 per year or $225,360 over the course of a lifetime. Yep, it’s pretty standard for college tuition. (Though in all fairness, that only gets us four years.)

Men spend (slightly) less. On average, they spend about $175,680 over the course of their lifetimes. That equates to $244 per month."

Thank you mommybunny .

Well, I don't spend £££ each month or hours, actually. I like to look put together/stylish but I also like to make it easy for myself.

I have thick, curly hair and have it trimmed every 12 weeks, use products that keep it in good condion so I don't need to spend ages styling it each morning.

I mostly splash my face with water each morning and put on spf50. At night, I double cleanse, retinol, face oil which takes all of 5mins. I eat pretty healthily, am late 40s and people tell me I have "good skin". I think that's mainly diet and sunscreen tbh.

You have to do what your time and budget allows, it's about being efficient with time and money by only doing what's effective.

Sadly this thread has confirmed my own beliefs: if you have crap, thinning hair there is no hope of looking polished!

@Ces6
"Sadly this thread has confirmed my own beliefs: if you have crap, thinning hair there is no hope of looking polished!"

Get some decent hair extensions, you can get some for about £40 then sew clips onto them yourself and get a hairdresser to cut them in with your hairstyle - they add thickness and don't need to be used to add length if you want to keep hair short.

Those who buy expensive clothes from ebay, I want to do this but find all the naice brands don't go up to a size 20. Simply Be is a bit frumpy for me and Yours seems to be more priced for fast fashion. Id like to be spending £20 on more expensive used clothes if anyone can recommend suitable brands that do size 20.

Unfortunately my hair is too thin for hair extensions!

Oh yes please @twirlypoo

LetGuardDown don't Wrap London go up to a size 20? They're quite generously sized to iirc. I thought Monsoon did too.

Some of us are larger than that.

Ces6

I sometimes wear a wig when I can't be arsed with my hair. These days even synthetic wigs can look super natural if the hairline is applied/ blended properly (YouTube is your friend for tutorials). After my first mat leave, I wore a wig for the first couple of months as it made mornings easier...I had so many compliments on my hair and one colleague kept on asking me for hair tips. When I eventually told her it's a wig she was shocked.

Not saying a wig is for everyone or would suit all lifestyles but so many people wear them now, and if you're genuinely not happy with your natural hair, it's a simple and non permanent solution.

@Ces6 sorry forgot the tag

About five years ago I realised that the best way to look well groomed, or whatever it's called, is to spend your money on good skin and haircare (Aveda) and exercise (£70 per month yoga club).

Believe me, anything looks expensive if you're slim with a good haircut and decent makeup.

Oh yes, forgot to second the Babyliss Big Hair! I was using it everyday until I started redecorating recently. Best birthday present in years!!