To think that 1pm parties for 2yo are just wrong

[sometimesalways]

Ok I suspect this will prove controversial but I am genuinely at a loss here.

DS soon turns 2.5yo. He sleeps reasonably well, that is about 11 hours every night (7.30-6.30 or so) and 1.5hr on average for naps (usually 1-2.30). I thought this was pretty much the norm for his age group. I know he will drop the nap soon but he still does need it for now and he certainly did six months ago.

So the thing is we are often being invited to parties (a wonderful thing in itself of course!), for kids around his age and younger, which start at 1pm. Of course I always want to go as he has fun etc but how on earth do I fit the nap there? If I put him down earlier, it's too early and he won't fall asleep. If I try keeping him up, he just goes crazy as too tired to last till bedtime.

But my main question is, what routine do the parents who set the party at that time follow to make it work?? It seems to be happening a lot so I am starting to think that our nap might be the unusual one? I am genuinely asking as I don't understand and I don't want to ask them - don't want to seem ungrateful or rude as it's all people I like. I am just wondering what am I doing wrong

Does your 2.5yo do naps and when?

My 2.5 year old sometimes naps sometimes doesn't our days don't revolve around it and he's usually fine if he doesn't. His brother stopped napping well before 2.

If you can't go then that's up to you but doesn't mean naps dictate what other kids are doing at that age

My son is nearly 3 and still naps :/ only for 45 minutes though during the week, sometimes not at all at weekends but then he has an extra long nap the next day.

His naps are usually early, though, from 11 so I think the birthday party time is ok

My dd and every other child I know had king dropped naps at 2.5, only one it two still napped by 2. They're all in nursery and at 2 moved into an older room which didn't have dedicated nap rooms but none struggled.

The parties annoying me though are the 1/2pm on Sunday afternoons. They seem to take over the whole day when it should be our one and only rest day, and now dd is 3 her friends talk so she's very aware if there's a party coming up!

DS is 22 months and has a half hour nap in the morning but will sometimes refuse it. He sleeps 6.30 to 8 usually

Having worked in nurseries for the past 10 years, in my experience, about 90% of 2 year olds nap after lunch, at 1 pm. There are only a few who have dropped it, and still a few 3 and 4 year olds that still need a sleep.years
Many of these could cope with the odd missed nap, but to plan a party at that time does seem odd.

Mine are 12 and 15 so this is long past for us. Real life party times and complaints have been:
9/9:30- it's tooo eearlly
10:30/11am (my personal preference for pre-schoolers) both it's too earllly and it's too late ( she needs lunch by 12 followed imeadiately by a nap in her own bed or the world will end)
12/1pm it's nap time/ it cuts across the middle of the day.
2/3pm it's nap time/ it finishes too late/ they will be tired and fractious
4/5pm Don't even go there- far too late, school the next day

Some kids just really need their nap and naptime is fixed. Others (most) are somewhat flexible and can be persuaded to have an early or short nap and another one later.
Irs what you get your child used to. We'd be having lunch then so not a time my dc would nap. Theyd snack at 11 and then sleep then lunch then get out for the afternoon. Ds1 woukd have an afternoon nap, ds2 we kept awake by any means possible so get more night time sleep. By 5pm it was hard!

Do what suits you OP

Yes nursery naps are 1-3, not all 2 years are at nursery and being house bound 1-3 (realistcally 12-3:30) doesnt work for many parents.

IME most SAHP / parents of school age DC prefer a late morning nap+ earlier bedtime

Yes nursery naps are 1-3, not all 2 years are at nursery and being house bound 1-3 (realistcally 12-3:30) doesnt work for many parents.

The kid either needs a nap or they don't, not sure what the parent's preference regarding being house bound has to do with it?

Now parties last from after school friday till at least 8 or 9pm and frequently till 2pm saturday (yes they are grumpy the rest of tbe day having missed their "nap" whole nights sleep.

But my main question is, what routine do the parents who set the party at that time follow to make it work??

I don't know double exclamation mark

Maybe a different one from yours?

Sorry. I've obviously had a "triggering" moment but you remind me of someone I know who had a massively rigid routine based around her own her son's sleep.

If it's a problem then don't go to the parties. It'll all even out in a year or so and he won't have missed out. He'll have kept to his schedule and won't remember not going to parties to which he was invited. I'm sure he'll be living it up at his contemporaries' 21sts in years to come.
You're not doing anything wrong; you're doing what you feel is best for your son.

Unless you're that person I know, in which case: the routine is for you, not for him. You say you can't cope if he doesn't get his nap and is badly behaved because he's tired. No. You can't cope with him when he's awake. Ever.

My 2.5 year old still naps but it's from 12-1. Most kids in this country will nap from noon at that age :) So 1pm would be a little awkward, we would likely be a bit late, but it's not the end of the world. She can also make it one day without a nap if needs must.

It’s not about preferences around being housebound, but practicality. I have a school aged child, a non napping 3 year old and a baby, I’m not going to tell the older child/children that we have to be at home every day between 12 and 2 for the baby to have a nap. Just like my second DC had to work to some extent around my first.

Thankyou Soydora you put it so much more eloquently than I exactly
.

SoyDora like I said, either the child needs a nap, or it doesn't. My oldest still needs quiet time after lunch although has dropped a nap, otherwise she fully melts down - tantrum, tears, etc. So whether or not I like it, we stay home on weekends from 12-2 in general.

Sounds like a lot of people's DCs aren't like that which is why they don't really understand some other families have to do things differently.

However unlike OP I don't begrudge the family for holding a birthday party at 1 PM, but we most likely would skip it.

He naps at 11.30 for an hour or so that would work perfectly for us

Are you in the UK edge ? If you are, then the staying home in the middle ( only light and warm part) of the day October-March with toddlers gets old pretty quickly.

Mine would keep going for a party and sleep on way home. Naps don't need to be in the cot.

Sick with envy at all these napping 2+ year olds (mine dropped all naps as soon as she possibly could).

works brilliantly in hotter climes though (why continental children nap longer and later than British kids).

hopefulhalf No I'm not in a wintry country so not an issue.

By a year old mine were both at the stage of only falling asleep around 4pm inconveniently, as then getting them to sleep at a reasonable time later was a challenge. Naps were pretty much dropped by 18 months apart from dozing off in the car. 1pm naps wouldn't have crossed my mind at 2

Well I have to balance the needs of all three children to keep us all happy, so for us, staying at home between the hours of 12 and 2 at weekends/school holidays just is not practical. Older DC has clubs/activities for a start, and I think the younger ones have had to become more flexible as a result.
Each family to their own!